Heya playa have you ever wanted to tell your crush how you felt but you weren't sure whether
you should do it directly as in tell them to their face or indirectly as in give them
a note?
Well dark_memes_1226 asked me this "Do you think writing a note to your crush is a good
thing to do or will it be bad?".
I have pretty mixed thoughts on that but I'm gonna share them with you right after this.
This is The Josh Speaks.
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For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single Monday through Friday
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self.
When it comes to giving your crush a note to express how you feel, I've had a bad experience
with that.
I go way more in-depth in another video as to how and why I chose that method but ultimately
it didn't work out for me.
She ended up reading my note and realizing "Wow, I really only see this guy as a friend"
and that was it for me.
But I do want to get into being direct vs. indirect so let's cover indirect first.
Giving your crush a note or telling someone else to tell your crush how you feel.
I don't think these methods are good ones and the simple reason is because you're not
allowing your crush to see that you're confident enough to approach them and talk to them yourself.
Instead, what you're doing is your finding a shield to protect yourself.
You're kind of putting your feelings out there and hoping that whatever your crush has to
say, whether it's good or bad won't come and make you feel embarrassed in the moment.
By writing them a note and slipping it in their locker or sending them a huge text message
expressing how you feel.
Both of these indirect methods simply show your crush that hey, I'm not ready to approach
you, I'm not ready to build something in person I'm hoping that I can just kind of pose this
yes or no question to you and hopefully it's yes.
You're essentially flipping a coin and hoping for it to land on heads.
And the problem with flipping a coin is that your odds are the same for you to lose as
they are to win.
You're simply posing a yes or no question and by doing it indirectly, you're even removing
yourself from the equation of having an influencing factor to help your crush lean more towards
yes.
So let me give you an example.
Let's say there's someone that you really really like and you don't really talk to them
as often.
Maybe you guys interact once in a while in a friend group or in class and things like
that but you're not really that close with them.
Well, you like them and you want to approach them and tell them how you feel but you're
too nervous to do it.
You're too nervous to even start a conversation with them so what do you decide to do?
You weigh your options and decide that the easiest thing for you to do is to write a
note, pass it off and hope for the best.
But when your crush gets that note, opens it up and reads it they're really not gonna
see the heart and feeling that you've put into it and how you feel on the other side
because all they have is a piece of paper to show that.
So most likely what they're going to feel is wow, this person put their heart on this
piece of paper.
This is a lot of pressure on me because I need to decide what I want to do and I don't
really know this person that well but they really like me so I'm probably going to take
the easy road myself and to say no.
You took the easy road and they took the easy road, nothing was accomplished here simply
because no one wanted to really make that first in person move.
So what you're saying is you should just tell your crush directly how you feel, right?
Not exactly.
Even that holds it's own weight of problems.
If you were to confidently walk up to your crush and say "Hey, I like you.
Let's go out some time."
Sure, there's a chance that they may say yes but there's also a lot of other contributing
factors that will probably push them towards no.
The first is that there's all these strangers and people watching to see what their reaction
is, second could be that their friends are there and they don't want to do anything in
front of their friends and the third may be that they're not sure if they could actually
go out.
They need to talk to their parents or maybe they need to balance it with their schoolwork
and get things in order so just kind of directly telling them just like that might not work.
Plus it puts a lot of pressure on the person that you're sharing your feelings with.
Can you imagine someone walking up to you and saying "Hey, I like you.
I don't really know you that well, we're not really that close but I like you.
So decide what you want to do with that information right now".
So wait a second, telling your crush indirectly that you like them is not good.
Telling your crush directly that you like them is not good either.
So what are you supposed to do?
How should I tell my crush that I like them?
Give it some time, there's no need to rush into telling someone how you feel.
What I always say is this, you're better off showing your crush how you feel rather than
telling them how you feel.
And the way to show them how you feel is to ask them to hang out, to spend time getting
to know them, learning a little bit more about their personalities and hobbies and their
interests and really just showing an investment in them as a person.
The more time you spend building that deeper connection with them the easier it'll be for
both of you to be on the same page when you are ready to express your feelings so that
no one's doing it out of the blue and it's just weird and it's awkward.
You avoid all of that just by taking the time to get to know them.
So try to move away from that black and white type of thinking.
You know what I mean, the kind of approach where you're like "Well, I like this person.
I'm gonna ask them out.
If they say yes, then things are good.
If they say no, then things are bad.
If they say no then I just move on.
It doesn't have to be like that.
Spend a little bit more time investing, getting to know them, that's how you're really going
to increase your chances of success.
What do you think though, is there a person that you have a crush on and you're not really
sure how to go about telling them or even showing them?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
Now if you're in a situation that you don't really want to make public in the YouTube
comments, you can always shoot me a DM over on Snapchat or Instagram.
I do my best to answer as many messages as I can.
Otherwise thank you so much for watching.
If you found this video to be helpful, hit the thumbs up button.
If you're new here, make sure to subscribe but definitely check out the videos over there
on the side where I go more in depth on this topic of telling your crush hwo you feel and
why I don't think that's such a good idea.
Watch those videos, I think they'll help you out.
On that note guys, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.