He was born with glass bones,
paper skin and a shameless craving for con.
It does my heart good to con
a couple of class A suckeroonis like those two.
But who else is he trying to scam?
This is Bikini Bottom Mysteries.
Known only as the Con Man,
this slippery fish seems like a small time schemer.
You two lady killers are too smart to be without one of my
patented candy bar bag carrying bags.
We'll take 20.
But is he running more than simple swindles?
Exhibit A: return on investment.
It may seem like he's got his con game down,
turning a sob story into cold hard cash.
But luckily I'm able to keep myself alive by selling chocolate bars.
But is it all worth it?
Just how much profit is he making on his chocolate scheme?
How much does he have to spend upfront to stock crates of candy bars
and candy bar bags?
Let alone the candy bar bag carrying bags.
And that fake medical gear can't come cheap.
Between the IV drip, the oxygen mask, the full body bandages,
and the heart monitor,
looks like the only thing flat-lining is his bank account.
And to top it off,
our Con Man needs, count 'em, three different houses
to pull of the scam.
Seems like a lot of overhead, but is he in over his head?
Ow...
Is this candy bar scam actually running him out of house,
and house and home?
Buying the bags, the medical gear, the houses,
all that for a few bucks?
On the off chance that a couple of suckers come by selling chocolate?
Good morning, sir. Would you like to buy some chocolate?
Something's just not adding up here.
He couldn't possibly be turning a profit.
Unless... he's playing a much bigger game.
Exhibit B: impersonation.
What do we really know about this Con Man?
He's got purple scales, a rounded fin,
a fancy suit, a hat he wears indoors,
and most notoriously, a taste for ill-gotten gain.
[laughing]
But wait a minute. Purple scales, rounded fin,
fancy suit, indoor hat?
Taking advantage of honest businessmen?
There's just one other fish who fits that description.
The health inspector.
It's suddenly so clear.
What if Mr. Krabs was right the first time?
You looney luffa! He is the imposter!
What if Con Man actually is impersonating a health inspector
to eat for free?
A bit of makeup around the mouth and it's a match.
I'm going to need you to bring me one of everything on the menu.
One of everything on the menu, huh?
Compliments of the Krusty Krab?
Sounds like a free feast to me.
I just need to try a plain Krabby Patty.
A plain Krabby Patty?
With a side of lies, perhaps?
And it seems like our Con Man even has the perfect cover.
The fake inspector has been captured. Here is his picture.
If a health inspector comes to your restaurant
and he's not this guy, he's real.
That's quite an assumption, Realistic Fish Head.
Because who says this is the only fake inspector in town?
If everyone thinks the imposter has already been caught,
who'd be on the lookout for another fake health inspector?
It's the perfect crime.
Unless...
Exhibit C: the perfecter crime.
How could the Con Man get away with these blatant scams?
How does he stay one step ahead of the authorities?
Take a long, hard look at our Con Man.
Have you seen him somewhere else?
No? What if we added shades?
Now he looks like someone who's always around Bikini Bottom.
Someone in a position of authority.
Someone nobody would think to question.
Someone like...
This Bikini Bottom police officer.
It looks like this scheme goes all the way to the top.
Or all the way to the cops.
But why is the Con Man impersonating a Bikini Bottom police officer?
Ask yourself this:
How did the Con Man get away with blatant identity theft?
How has he stolen from local establishments?
And how has he conned countless chumps?
All without drawing the attention of the authorities.
Could it simply be that he is the police?
Switching identities, misleading the authorities,
and using his police status to cover his tracks
to stop any investigations and bury any proof,
so as far as the cops are concerned, the Con Man is just a phantom.
A rumor, a shadow, as far as the cops are concerned...
There is no Con Man.
Happy hunting!
Happy hunting, indeed.
And now, a Bikini Bottom Bonus Mystery.
You've been wondering about her since her first moments on screen.
So it's time someone asked the big question about Pearl.
The question you can't help but asking.
The one thing you've all been wondering.
The huge mystery about Mr. Krabs' beloved daughter.
Who is Pearl's best friend?
It seems like Pearl's pals show up one day and vanish the next.
Let's hang out!
Ugh, I can't.
If these are her friends, why aren't they at her sweet 16?
Who's Pearl's real BFF?
Will she ever find fish she likes who like her back?
File this one under B, subfolder F, sub-subfolder F
for best friends for never.
Have you seen something strange under the sea?
Leave us a comment and tune in next time
for more investigations that will blow your pores,
strip your scales and flip your fins.
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if the pineapple fits, live in it.