[ Video game beeping ]
See, Stan? You gotta choose
if you wanna be in Gryffindor or Slytherin.
Yeah, can I do it?
Yeah, see, you gotta fight these fairy guys.
Randy.
[ Beeping continues ]
Randy!
The powder room toilet is broken.
Again!
Did you jiggle the handle?
Yes, I jiggled the handle.
Will you come fix this, please?
Okay, okay.
[ Beeping continues ]
Huh, well, let's see.
It's gotta be the little black floaty thingie.
What'd you do to it?
I didn't do anything.
Lemme see if there's water in the bowl.
No! Don't lift the lid.
Why can't I lift the lid?
Don't, Randy! Uh-huh.
Hey, guys! Your mom took a shit
and doesn't want me to see it.
Ew! Gross, Dad!
Randy! We need to get a new toilet.
We can't just get rid of ol' blue, Sharon.
This is embarrassing.
It's the powder room toilet, the one guests use.
You get a new toilet, Randy,
or I'm not helping you sell weed anymore!
Alright, alright. Sharon, you win.
As usual.
Poor ol' Blue.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
Can I help you with anything?
Oh, yeah, just lookin' for a new toilet to replace Ol' Blue.
Alright, well, all our toilets here are standard bowl,
come with full warranty.
How much you looking to spend?
Well I'm not poor.
I happen to have my own weed business.
So that's pretty much the nicest one you have, right?
Yeah, that's probably the top model, you know,
before you start getting into the Japanese toilets.
Japanese toilets?
Yeah, they're the sort of the super-high-class
luxury models with all the bells and whistles.
But you probably don't wanna spend that kind of money.
I'm not poor.
Oh, well, we can show them to you.
The Japanese toilets are right over there.
Hi, Rick. This gentleman
would like to see the Japanese toilets.
Well, of course, sir. My name is Rick.
Let me know if there's anything you need.
These toilets are all equipped with the highest-end features,
including an automatic bidet system,
bluetooth capability, and seat warmers.
Seat warmers? Of course.
And the toilet senses when you've come into the room,
turns on a small light, plays welcome music,
and raises the lid for you.
Can I offer you come sparkling water or champagne?
Oh, sure, I'll take some champagne.
All the toilet's functions are operated
by a touch-button remote which you mount
where the toilet-paper roll used to go.
So then where do you keep the toilet paper?
With a Japanese toilet, you don't need toilet paper.
The toilet washes you completely clean.
You're mad.
No, it's true.
It has warm water and a dryer
and cleans you eight times better than toilet paper can.
Would you like to take one for a test drive?
Oh, uh, sure.
I did have kind of a big breakfast.
Right over here.
[ New Age music plays ]
♪♪
♪ ♪
♪♪
♪ ♪
Oh.
♪ ♪
[ Water running ] Whoa!
Ooh. Oh, oh! Oh.
Ahhh!
Oh, oh! [ Chuckles ]
[ Farts ]
[ Button beeps, water running ]
Ohh! Oh.
[ Button beeps, toilet flushes ]
Okay, how much?