Okay, 5 great ways to make progress in your relationship. Check it out. It's
right here. And watch this video. I think there's parts about this relationship
you haven't thought of. And that's why today as your mentor, I'm going to open
up your mind some great, great ideas.
You're in a relationship and you wanted to move forward, right? And you're
wondering "What do I do?" You feel like you've tried everything. You feel like
you've covered all the different aspects. But for some reason it's not making
progress. And you're wondering "What do I do next?" Well, I'm here to share with you
as your mentor some other ideas that I really believe are going to work.
They've worked for other people. And people who have been married for 40
years, people who have been married for a year. People who are dating. So, all the
way across the board. I've got some ideas here on my list that I have tested and
tried and they work and I'm not going to waste your time with all the ideas that
don't work. So, let's take a look at this. So, I've got a checklist for you of what
to do to create this relationship. So, what to do in this relationship so it
can have some progress. Okay, number 1. Number 1. My wife and I we teach a
class called Royalty And Romance. we have taught this class now for... Oh, my goodness.
I think, 9 years. 9 years, 4 times a year. For 9 years. On the average of
about 800 to 900 people in each one of those classes. And it's a live event here
in Salt Lake City. And we have people in the room who have been married upwards
of 50 years together who are here in this class. And we have newlyweds, we have
people who are dating. But it's everybody who's wanting to improve the
relationship and move the relationship forward. And one really big piece that we
do in the class is we provide an experience for them that they actually
can learn of each other. And over the years, the 9a years we've been teaching
this class, the couples come to us afterwards or they'll send us a
testimonial and they will tell us that that one activity caused them to draw
closer together and make progress. So, number 1 is to learn
about the person you care about. Where the relationship you want it to be
better? You got to learn of them. It's not what you need to do. It's what you need
to learn about them. That means asking questions. Now, this is not an
interrogation process. You know to learn of them. But what happens is when you go
to learn about them, you are curious about them. You're interested in them. Now,
here's something that's really cool about this is... You know, when you're
curious and interested in somebody else, you are... What you're doing is
you are pouring out your interest. They feel that you're interested. Because
you're interested in where they've been in their life, what vacations they've been
on, what's fun, what's scary. And you're interested and they feel during
that process like you care. And that becomes this incredible feeling coming
from you because you're still curious about them. Like I've been married for 25
years. And I still to this day. You know, and when we go out to dinner or sitting
at home on the couch or we're going for a walk. I am still learning about my
sweetiepie. And what's awesome is our marriage is still progressing. We still
are making movement. Movements. Because we're curious about
each other. Learning about each other. You don't know everything about this person.
So, you continue to ask questions. Continue to be interested. Okay, I'm going to
check that one. Next one, create new experiences. Things you've
never done before. I surprised my sweetiepie and we were down in Moab, Utah.
And there's a Jeep Safari you can go on in Moab, Utah where you are literally
driving up and down these super steep... They call a slick rock. It's this
sandstone rock. But these jeeps that you're in have really good knobby tires
that really stick to the sandstone really well. And you literally can crawl
up these super steep hills. Neither one of us have ever done that before.
And I'm the one driving. She's the one in the passenger. And we're following the
guide. It had our heart beating the whole entire time because it was fun and scary
at the same time. And we still to this day are talking about that experience.
The experience caused us to come closer together because we experienced it
together. She can point out the time that I was scared. And I can point out the
time that she was gripping the edge of the the seat and that and the handle. And
she was... And we can point out these experiences we went through. But it was
an emotional adrenaline experience. It is extreme. You don't have to go do this. But
I'm pointing out it was something we never have done together before. So fun,
playful, new experiences bring you together. And that creates progress. Fun,
playful experiences. I just endless ideas. Endless ideas. But that is such a go-to
when you create those experiences. Now, you can get stuck in a rut and do the
same things all the time always. And it's like, "Alright. Change it up a little bit."
Okay, next one. Something that creates progress in a relationship is actually
to talk about your hopes, your dreams. You know, what do they hope and dream about?
What do you hope and dream about? But then also coupled with the fears. What
are you worried about, what are you concerned about? And if I never knew
what my wife's fears are, then that would be something she wrestles with all by
herself. But because I know her fears, I can help her know how to get past those
fears. I can figure things out and help her. And so knowing my wife's hopes and
fears, I know what motivates her and I know what can stop her. And that means
now I care. Because I know where to care. And so if a situation arises, I know if
that's going to create fear in my wife or if it's going to create hope for her.
And I... But because I know that about her, I can be in that experience with her to
either protect her or motivate her. But for definite sure, if I went on mentoring
couples and I'm noticing that I can ask the husband or the boyfriend, I can say,
"Hey, what's their fears?" And they go, "Oh, I don't know. They don't share them with me."
Well, that's a relationship that's not going to be making much progress because
sharing your hopes and fears is personal. It's really personal. And if you don't
feel open enough to share your hopes and fears, you're not going to move forward very
well. And that's a risk. It is a total risk to share your hopes and fears with
somebody. It really is because you don't know what they're going to do with it. And so,
when somebody opens up to share their hopes and fears with you, don't mock it.
Point at it, slander it. Respect it. A person's hopes comes from deep in their
heart. And a person's fears comes from deep in their mind. And when somebody
goes to share that with you, they literally are opening up their heart and
opening up their mind and sharing with you. And if you're not sharing your hopes
and fears, you're not opening up that much. You know, you're not opening up that
much. So that's a big one. That's that's a game-changer.
And so, when I'm mentoring couples and I find out they don't know that about each
other, that's a great exercise to go through. But definitely that they have
high levels of respect for each other on that third one because if they a lot of
trust, a lot of respect as they go to open up and share. Okay, acts of service.
Boy, the 2 of you go do a service project or go get involved with service
together. You learn so much about each other. That's a whole different side of a
human being is how they give service. And when you go do a service project
together or jump in on with an organization and do a service project,
you're going to see a whole different side of them because service projects bring
out our contribution side. Which usually lays dormant. And you don't see that side.
But when you're in a service project type type of situation, it is
super attractive to see the person you love and care about giving service. I
mean it is so attractive. I mean it's actually weird to say but it's actually
romantic. When my wife... I know it.. Wait, candles in a dinner is romantic, right
Kirk? No, it's really attractive. I remember working on a farm. You know? And
Kim and I are in the garden pulling weeds in the carrot section. And she's
all you know, got dirt on her face and the winds kind of blowing in her hair
and she's got her gloves on and pulling weeds in the carrot section. And I'm
pulling weeds in the care section. I look over at her and she is giving of her
time to help other people. and there's just a whole different energy about that.
Whole different energy. If you want to move your relationship forward, both of
you get involved in some kind of service. And you will see a side to them that is
super attractive. Oh, it's just so good. I like I said you're thinking of all the
different services. And a shesh! I could almost cry. I'm going to stop so I don't cry.
But it's just really you see a side to them that is really neat. And then
because you both did that, oh, my goodness. You.. You're going to... You're going to... You know
it. Go do it. You'll know exactly what I'm talking about. But that is an incredible
feeling, incredible feeling. So, acts of service. And they can be big or small or
your own little service project you do together. But I really believe that a
couple that serves together will stay together. Because there is something cool
about that feeling and that energy. It's really, really, really awesome. Okay. Last
one here. And this is a great checklist. Every single one of them work. And if you
just do one, it works. If you do 2, it's even better. But this one right here,
problem solve together. Instead of you know, having a problem that you're
trying to sort or get through or you know... And you're trying to do it all by
yourself. Reach out to this... To your spouse. Reach out reach out your
you know, the person you love. Your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your partner,
whoever it is. And say, "Hey, I got a challenge I'm trying to figure out." Or
maybe... Maybe you're terrible at finances. Maybe... Maybe your checkbook is a mess.
Maybe your house is a mess. Maybe your garage is a stacked full of junk. Ask
them to help. See, when you humble yourself enough to ask for help and give
them a chance to serve you, that's opening up some some really precious
parts of who you are in your heart. And who you are in your mind. So, instead of
trying to be the perfect one and instead of trying to put on this
performance that you're good and everything your life is in order. Where
you're where you're stuck or you got your house is a mess or the closet mess
or project that's not finished, ask them to help. Because when you open up to be
helped and you give them a chance to help you, there's a super cool bond that
happens there. And then they might need help and you go help them. And... But it's
super cool when you problem solve together. Again it's another side to you
that they have not seen before. And a way that a couple progresses is that they
actually are learning about each other. All along the way. You know and having
these experiences together, it's super cool. Plenty to choose from.
To cause progress in your relationship. Plenty. Okay, so Royalty and Romance. I
brought up Royalty and Romance. Fantastic event here in Salt Lake City. 3-day
event. Live. See if you can be here here at Salt Lake City. Look at the link below
that'll talk to you and share with you... Might talk to you... It'll share with you
some information about the Royalty and Romance class. Now, if you can't travel
for whatever reason and you can't take those three days to get here you know to
that event. Click on the other link that has to do with my monthly mentoring program.
Because you know you had a great mentoring your life, you could
move forward in your relationships. I know how to do that. I can help you. So
either one. Royalty and Romance or click the link about my monthly mentoring and I'm
here to help.