- [Julie] This video is sponsored by Surfshark,
more on them at the end of the sketch.
- Hello.
May I please speak to Jeff Bezos?
(dramatic music begins)
Yes, I'll hold.
(waxstrip ripping)
(dramatic music continues)
- Hi Jeff.
How are you?
How's the wife?
Oh shoot, Sorry.
I forget.
Yeah, I just want to talk to you little bit
about your plans for world domination.
Um, there's a couple issues I wanted to flag.
Can I, can I put you on video call?
Okay.
(phone hanging up)
Hi, Jeff, you, you there?
Can you see me?
- Hi, yeah, I'm here.
- Okay, great.
So, you know, um, first congrats, you know,
on, on, on all of your success in the last year,
it was the low wages and the deplorable working conditions
were really a nice touch.
- Wow.
Thank you. It means a lot coming from you.
- Well, I mean to benefit from so much suffering,
really beautiful stuff.
- Thank you.
Yeah. I mean, it was some of my best work.
- No, I, you know,
I want to talk about this, um, space program
that we agreed to partner on.
You know, um, I never see a plan
for the rocket before it got sent up.
How come?
- Well I figured if it made it into space,
what does it matter?
- Yeah, I, I agree, um, uh but, the shape choice.
- Yeah. It sent a message.
Told them what to expect when they deal with me.
- Ah, yeah, okay.
Okay.
I, nobody, nobody think to mess with you, Jeff.
but it did feel a little like, you know,
somebody is compensating for something.
- I don't understand.
What do you mean?
- Nothing, no.
Nevermind. We move on.
I, I, you know, my main issue
is with this, um, evil space station
that your space ships will lock into.
- Ah, yes, my Premium Utopia Station
equipped with nuke launchers
aimed at every major city.
- Yes, that was a nice touch.
- I thought you'd like that.
- Yeah, it is uh, it is more again the design,
that I am questioning.
- Are you thinking more nukes?
- No, no.
I think, uh, I think it has enough nukes.
It is more, um, it is more the shape.
- Well, what about it?
- Well, um, uh, maybe it could be like another shape.
Like it could be like a circle
or maybe like a, like a square.
- But the current design is quite efficient.
- Yeah. Yeah, of course.
But, but, okay.
So the ways that the rockets are docking into it, um,
you know, maybe, maybe they could come
from this bottom portion instead?
Instead of going in, in the middle?
- Well, that would be the garbage shoot
and you don't want to go in there.
I mean, technically you could.
- Yeah, Okay.
I think maybe we come back to this.
The other thing I want to bring up is um,
I think the name could be problematic.
- Premium Utopia Station or PUS for short.
- Um-hum
- Well, it describes what it is.
- It does.
- I mean, let me tell you just really nice in there
and yeah, you can enjoy it for a long stay
or if you're anything like me and you can't last very long.
It's a good time.
- Yeah, okay, so Jeff, you know I get the,
I am a busy uh, lot of, I don't, this is not working.
- What?
Is it something I said?
- No.
No, really, it's me.
I just, I think we maybe have different style.
You know, for, for maybe different goals to our work.
- Right. But if my rockets and your PUS we can
build the next generation of evil,
you still want world domination, don't you?
- Of course.
But, but you know, I, I, um,
I have lots going on right now.
I've got several different irons in the fire.
I'm here, I am there, you know, and, and,
and I'm spreading myself too thin.
I don't want to be distracted for you
because I have too much on my plate.
- Wow.
Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
So maybe we put a pin in this
and, and if you like,
you know, we can have your, um, assistant,
maybe contact my assistant, get in touch for,
just in a couple months and to check-in.
- Yeah.
That sounds good.
Thanks.
- Okay, thanks Jeff.
Bye bye.
(call ends)
(door squeaks)
- Not so fast Oksana.
- Agents 0008 (for copyright reasons)
How did you find me?
- I put a tracking device in your hat.
(dramatic music begins)
(device beeping)
- Umph.
- And now you're going down.
Oh my God, what is that?
Is that a vagina?
- Ugh, that is not mine.
That is ugh.
I'll tell you on the way.
- I'll meet you outside.
(dramatic music rising)
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Okay.
(jazz music playing)