- I love the term honest signals.
Honest signals are these subconscious behaviors
that are true indicators
of a person's genuine feelings for you.
And we call 'em honest signals
because they're really difficult to fake or manipulate.
For example, if somebody says that they love health
and they love eating right and being healthy,
the honest signal is,
well, what is their physical appearance?
Are they in shape or are they not in shape?
And that's gonna tell you
whether or not they really do value being healthy.
And so today we're gonna look at seven honest signals,
signs that your man has deep feelings for you.
Check it out.
So the first honest signal is he listens intently to you.
Genuine listening, authentic listening.
There was this massive study done
where they discovered what is it that causes people
to feel the most loved?
And of all the different behaviors,
what got reported more than anything else
is that when people feel listened to.
Well, why isn't this just a common ubiquitous experience?
Why is this something that is so pronounced
in our relationship with people?
It's like, "Hey, when you're doing that, I feel most loved."
And the reason why is because it takes focus.
It takes intent.
It takes energy to really be present with somebody
and not distracted
and not thinking about what you want to say
and not thinking about what's gonna happen later.
- Christmas- - Shh!
(people chattering)
- The guy who's got deep feelings for you
is naturally gonna be leaning in,
tuned in, following along, nodding,
confirming what it is that you're saying.
The guy who's not is gonna be kinda halfway there,
you'll notice he kinda looks around the restaurant,
or he's gonna try to charm you
by taking over the conversation
and talking to you all about him.
But deep intent listening is an honest signal
that this guy's got feelings for you
because it takes energy and effort to do that.
So when you're with that guy who is present with you,
when he's deeply intently listening to you,
that is a great demonstration of an act of love
reflecting his deep emotions for you.
And the second thing that he'll do
when he is got deep feelings for you
is he'll remember the little things that matter to you.
He'll remember your favorite Starbucks order
and bring you Starbucks.
He'll remember how you like your eggs.
He'll remember of course your birthday.
He'll remember if you have a big presentation coming up.
He'll text you, "Good luck on that presentation."
The reason this demonstrates an honest signal
of his feelings for you
is because this is how our brains are wired up.
When there's an event that happens
connected with a high emotional state,
it sears into your memory.
- [Cook] Whoo! That's what you want, baby.
- That's why people will remember
exactly where they were in impactful events like 9/11.
Or you'll remember exactly what happened
at the first dance you had.
♪ My whole life has changed ♪
♪ Since in you came in ♪
(singers singing in a foreign language)
- Because the emotional state was so high,
your brain locked it in.
So when he remembers these little things about you,
it's because his emotional state is elevated around you.
He wants to remember.
And here's a good example of this.
A buddy of mine was dating this girl,
they were dating several months,
and both of them moved about an hour away
from where they were originally living.
And there was this one Thai restaurant
that she absolutely loved,
and there was particularly one dish
that she loved at this Thai restaurant.
He remembered that she loved that dish,
and so one particular day she'd had a rough day
and so he drove an hour away to this Thai restaurant,
picked up that dish, brought it over to her,
and she was like, "Oh my gosh!
"I can't believe you remembered
"that this is the dish that I love,
"let alone this Thai restaurant,
"but it's this particular dish."
What a great demonstration of remembering something
that mattered to her.
A great demonstration of his deep feelings for her.
Number three is you're gonna see him light up
when he sees you.
Remember, these are honest signals.
These are subconscious things that are happening.
So you'll see him smile, you'll see his eyebrows raise,
you'll see and feel his energy get excited,
and you'll catch him looking at you
in these in-between moments.
Like let's say you go to a restaurant,
you're gonna order your food
and you're looking at what you're gonna eat
and you'll catch him look at you, admiring you,
just taking in how beautiful you are.
Those little moments are really hard to fake
if someone's just not quite sure about how they feel
or they're trying to get you to like them
for the wrong reasons.
The guy who's authentically feeling it,
the guy who's authentically into you,
you'll catch him in these little moments just lighting up
and loving being around you.
The fourth sign of his deep feelings for you
is that he'll engage in deep conversations with you.
Now why is that an honest signal?
It's an honest signal because it takes effort,
it takes energy, and he's happy to talk
because he wants to get to know you.
He wants to explore your mind.
He wants to explore your heart.
He wants to know exactly who you are, what makes you tick.
You'll have those long like four-hour conversations
in a restaurant where you're shutting the restaurant down
and they're asking you guys to leave
because you look around and everybody's gone
and, like, the chairs are put up on the table,
and you didn't even know
that they had started closing down the restaurant.
Or you'll stay up way late at night and talking
and you just want these beautiful long conversations.
The guy who just wants to get in bed,
the guy who just wants to have a hookup,
he doesn't have time for that.
He doesn't wanna do that.
He's way more interested
in moving the conversation to the bedroom.
And so he'll try to, like, shut those conversations down.
He'll try to keep the conversation's superficial,
just talking about what's fun.
He's not wanting to go deep.
The guy who's got feelings for you is willing to explore.
He's willing to share.
He's willing to talk about the deeper topics,
and he'll dive into those topics to get to know you better.
Like let's say you have this, like, great childhood book
that you read that you absolutely loved
and it changed your life,
like he'll tell you, "Oh my gosh, yeah, I bought that book.
"I read it. It's awesome."
'Cause he wants to connect with you
even deeper in those ways.
And the fifth sign is that he anticipates your needs.
And I love this as an honest signal.
You've gotta be outside of yourself
to anticipate somebody else's needs.
You've gotta be naturally thinking about them
to anticipate their needs.
You've gotta be wondering, hmm,
what would be a good experience for them?
What might they be feeling or wanting in this moment?
This is the guy that after you've had a hard day,
he's thinking, "What would make her feel better?"
And maybe he's playing your favorite music
when you get home, or maybe he brings you dinner.
Maybe he orders dinner in
to make the night easier for the both of you.
Maybe you guys are gonna go have a picnic
or go on a hike together and he checks the weather
to make sure that the experience is gonna be right for you.
And it might be a little cold, he brings an extra jacket.
That at the top it's windy and you're like,
"Oh my gosh, it's colder than I thought."
He's like, "Here, I brought this for you."
That is a great sign of deeper feelings, really hard to fake
because the guy who's in it for himself
he's not thinking about that kind of stuff.
He's really locked into his own world.
But the man who's considering you,
serving you, anticipating your needs,
that's the guy who's demonstrating deeper feelings.
Number six is the guy who comes through for you
when you're in a bind,
and more importantly, doesn't make you feel guilty
or hold it over your head later.
So maybe you forgot something
and he needs to run back to the house
to bring it to you at work.
Or maybe you're sick and he's gonna run out
and get you medicine or get you some food.
Or maybe you're moving and you need help
and he's gonna come over and spend all his Saturday
helping you move.
Maybe he drops off the clothes to the Salvation Army for you
that were in the back of the car the last two weeks.
The guy who sees you in need and jumps at it and leans in
and says, "I'm the guy who can help.
"I don't want you counting on anybody else.
"I want you counting on me."
This is the guy who's demonstrating love in that moment.
And it doesn't just have to be
in romantic relationships either.
One of my favorite demonstrations of love,
my dad, no matter what time of the day it is,
if we're going to the airport, my dad's in.
My dad's like, "You gotta go to the airport?
"Be there at 4:00 AM? We gotta wake up at two?
"I'm in. I got you."
And my dad will be driving us.
It's dark outside and we're super tired
and we're gonna go on this like either a business trip
or a vacation or whatever it is
and my dad's there driving us to the airport.
And he never makes me feel guilty about it.
He never, like, asks for anything in return.
It's just a pure demonstration of love and I got you.
So the bottom line is the man who jumps at the willingness
to serve you, that's the man who's demonstrating love.
And the last sign is the man who tells you
he wants to be exclusive with you and risks that rejection.
- [Bystander] He's proposing!
- Oh my god. - Oh my god. He's proposing.
(people chattering)
- [Bystander] Don't be afraid!
- [Group] Aww!
- When a man tells you, "Hey, I wanna explore
"this relationship with you.
"I wanna see where this can go,
"and I'm not interested in seeing other people.
"You can do whatever it is you want,
"I just want you to know where I am."
So he's not putting anything on you.
He's not not trying to control you.
He's ultimately telling you,
"This is what I would love to do
"and I would love to explore this with you."
That takes real courage because it risks real rejection.
He's putting it out there first,
he's revealing himself first,
and he's willing to say, "Look, I'm gonna forego,
"I'm gonna sacrifice all the other opportunities that I have
"because I'm really feeling something for you."
My question for you is, when you have deep feelings
for a man, when you really feel yourself leaning
into this relationship, what are the things that you do?
How do you show up?
What can a man look for to say, "Wow, okay,
"she's really feeling this relationship right now"?
Go ahead and post those in the comment section below.
We're gonna love checking that out.
Here's to your amazing love life
and expanding love in this world every day.
I appreciate you.
Thanks for watching, and I'll see you soon.
(cheerful music)