>> Larry: OKAY, IT'S TIME TO GET REAL ON A PERSONAL LEVEL.
LET'S "KEEP IT 100".
THERE IT IS.
YOU GUYS KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
I'M GOING TO ASK EACH OF YOU A QUESTION.
YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT 100% REAL IN YOUR ANSWER.
IF YOU DO, THE AUDIENCE CLAPS.
IF NOT, THEY WILL LET YOU KNOW.
REV, WE'RE GOING TO START WITH YOU.
>> OH, GREAT!
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL.
>> Larry: TRUST ME, REV, YOU DON'T WANT TO GO LAST.
>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
>> Larry: BEFORE YOU GET A LITTLE SNARKY.
ANOTHER SO YOU-- YOU'RE A CHRISTIAN.
I'M CHRISTIAN, TOO.
I'M CATHOLIC.
I LIKE TO SAY I'M A RECOVERING CATHOLIC.
NOW IF THERE WAS IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE-- I'M NOT TALKING "DA
VINCI CODE "STUFF, I'M TALKING IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE THAT JESUS
WAS GAY, WOULD THAT CHANGE YOUR MIND ON GAY MARRIAGE?
HE SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH 12 DUDES.
THERE WERE NO WOMEN AT THAT LAST SUPPER.
>> OKAY.
>> Larry: WOULD IT CHANGE YOUR MIND, IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE?
>> THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE WHEN IT
COMES TO JESUS.
>> Larry: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, IF GOD SPOKE TO YOU AND
SAID, "TAKE THIS ON FAITH, MICHEL.
MY SON IS GAY."
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
>> IF GOD SAID THAT-- IF THE GOD THAT I SERVE --
>> IF THE GOD THAT YOU SERVE SAID, "NOW, ARE YOU COOL WITH
GAY MARRIAGE," AND HE SAID IT JUST LIKE THAT.
>> IF GOD WERE TO SAY THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO REWRITE THE BOOK
THAT HE WROTE, OKAY.
>> Larry: I DON'T THINK THAT'S AN ANSWER.
YOU REALLY WANT TO GO INTO SPACE, RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> Larry: YOU HAVE TRAINED WITH THE RUSSIAN COSMONAUTS.
>> I'M A COSMONAUT.
>> Larry: BUT IT WAS DOCUMENTED YOU WERE TOO POOR.
YOU WEREN'T SPACE RICH.
NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE.
IT'S NOT A KNOCK.
SO YOU HAVE AN OFFER TO DO THIS CORPORATE EVENT.
IF YOU DO IT, THEY'LL PAY YOUR WAY TO SPACE, BUT THE SPONSOR IS
CHICK FILET.
THEY JUST WANT YOU TO HAVE AN AWESOME GAY SPACE ADVENTURE.
DO YOU DO IT?
KNOWING THAT BACK ON EARTH, PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO BE COOL
WITH IT?
>> I'M ABOUT TO BE 100 RIGHT NOW.
YES, I'D DO IT, BECAUSE THE FIRST OUT GAY IN SPACE IS WAY
BIGGER THAN HATE CHICKEN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> I'LL TAKE THEIR MONEY.
>> Larry: JESSICA, YOUR TURN.
"HATE CHICKEN."
THERE'S A PIVOTAL VOTE ON THE GAY RIGHTS BILL.
WE'RE ASSUMING YOU'RE A VERY POLITICAL PERSON, KEEPING UP
WITH THIS.
>> I HATE POLITICS, BUT GO ON.
>> Larry: THIS IS PERFECT FOR YOU, THEN.
THE DECIDING VOTE IS TED CRUZ.
YOU SEE HIM MAKING SWEET RIGHT WING LOVE TO A DUDE THE NIGHT
BEFORE, OKAY.
YOU SEE THAT.
YOU'RE THE WITNESS.
>> IT'S SWEET?
>> Larry: IT'S SWEET, OKAY.
NOW, NUMBER ONE, YOU CAN OUT HIM OR, 2, YOU CAN BLACKMAIL HIM
INTO VOTING FOR THE GAY RIGHTS BILL BY THREATENING TO OUT HIM
IF HE DOESN'T VOTE FOR IT.
WHICH ONE DO YOU DO?
>> BLACKMAIL.
>> Larry: BLACKMAIL.
"KEEP IT 100".
THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN TOO EASY FOR YOU.
>> I'M SCARED.
I'M VERY SCARED.
>> Larry: THINGS ARE GETTING SO BIZARRE.
SALLY, ANOTHER ONE.
THE SUPREME COURT IS GOING TO RULE ON GAY MARRIAGE THIS YEAR,
RIGHT.
AND WE ALL KNOW THOSE JUSTICES ARE ON THE BENCH FOR LIFE,
RIGHT?
AND WITH ALL THAT IN MIND, YOU'RE STAND BY A QUARRY
WITH ANTONIN SCALIA.
IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, YOU'VE BOTH BEEN DRINKING, NO
ONE IS AROUND.
THE MAN IS, LIKE, 78.
HE'S HAD A FULL LIFE, RIGHT?
BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN 2016.
MAYBE REPUBLICAN GETS IN OFFICE, THEY'RE GOING TO CHOOSE--
>> OH I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO ASK IF I'D HAVE SEX WITH HIM
>> Larry: NO, NO, NO, THIS MIGHT-- IF YOU PUSH HIM OVER THE
EDGE, THEN THE DEMOCRAT PRESIDENT CAN APPOINT--
ANOTHER-- ANOTHER JUSTICE.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> "THE NIGHTLY SHOW."
LARRY WILMORE JUST ASKED, "WOULD YOU COMMIT MURDER?"
>> Larry: DO YOU SNUFF HIM OR NOT?
HOW BAD DO YOU WANT THIS BILL PASSED?
>> UH, I DO NOT COMMIT MURDER.
( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE, INCIDENTALLY, I WOULD
NEVER DO ANYTHING IMMORAL IN THE SERVICE OF A MORAL MOVEMENT.
>> Larry: SHE KEPT JUST IT 100.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.