Item #: SCP-5980
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5980 is to be contained within a standard humanoid
containment cell at Site 83.
SCP-5980 does not require sustenance.
SCP-5980 is allowed outside of its containment cell once per day for two hours for recreational
activities, but is strictly prohibited from entering the cafeteria.
Food offered by SCP-5980 should be declined by personnel in order to maintain their mental
health.
Description: SCP-5980 is the designation given to Ethan Chin, age 33.
SCP-5980 is capable of perfect cellular regeneration and is, by definition, biologically immortal.
Given the regenerative properties of SCP-5980's cells, research into utilizing SCP-5980 for
medicinal treatment is currently underway.
Extensive testing of samples taken from SCP-5980's body has revealed that its skin, as well as
its organs, nerves, and fingernails, possess a flavour that is universally enjoyed by those
that consume it.
The flavor of SCP-5980 will vary depending on the consumer.
SCP-5980 exhibits a pleasant aroma regardless of the seasoning it's cooked with.
SCP-5980 is amicable and will often encourage Foundation personnel to "have a bite" of it
when they pass by.
It is important to note that SCP-5980 does not exhibit any cognitohazardous properties.
Consumption of SCP-5980, while safe, is often detrimental to a subject's mental health.
Discovery:
SCP-5980 was discovered after several complaints were made in an establishment called Cannibal
Chin's in northern New Jersey.
A food critic claimed to have witnessed SCP-5980 remove its fingers with a kitchen knife before
deep-frying them.
These were later served as french fries.
Several other civilians claimed to have caught glimpses of SCP-5980 self-mutilating in the
kitchen moments before serving them food, and a Foundation investigation was instigated.
When questioned, SCP-5980 claimed to have no idea what it was doing wrong, and insisted
that Foundation operatives have a complementary order off of the menu.
Its requests were denied by all attending agents except for Agent ██████. Agent
██████, who was unaware of SCP-5980's anomalous properties, consumed the entirety
of an order of fries, sized large, dipping each fry in a dark green milkshake.
Agent ██████ was psychologically evaluated and later requested an amnestic,
and for his name to be expunged from the official record.
SCP-5980 willingly came into Foundation custody once apprehended.
Cannibal Chin's was shut down using Cover Story 14 ("Health and Safety Violation") after
four years of continuous operation.
Interview 5980.4:
Interviewer: Dr. Owen Andrews
Interviewee: SCP-5980
Dr. Andrews: Tell me again what you were doing at the restaurant.
SCP-5980: Growing food gets expensive, like, the costs was wayyy too steep man.
I wish it 'didn't have to be that way, but when life gives ya lemons.
Dr. Andrews: Right, of course.
SCP-5980: Didja try the Finger Fries?
Dr. Andrews: I'm afraid not.
SCP-5980 holds out a finger.
SCP-5980: Tastes jus like chicken, I swear.
Mmm mmm mmm!
Have a bite, it doesn't hurt.
Dr. Andrews: Umm…
Noo…
Thanks?
I had something to eat already.
SCP-5980: Suit yourself, man.
You're missing out.
Dr. Andrews: How exactly did you make the items on the menu?
SCP-5980: Oh, that's easy.
I crank up the heat real high if the water's running low, and I keep all my spare meat
n' shit in the cooler.
God, I think I'd die if I made every order at once.
Dr. Andrews: And what did people say to you when they found out that you were the source
of their meals?
SCP-5980: Eh, forget about it.
I didn't do nothing wrong.
They're just a bunch of unappreciative bastards is all.
Dr. Andrews: That'll be all for now.
Addendum 5980.3:
The following is a list of items found on the menu of Cannibal Chin's.
Meatburger | Sm - 4.65 | Md 5.96 | Lg 7.82 Finger Fries | Sm - 1.99 | Md - 2.99 | Lg
3.99 Lemonade | 3.99
Chin's special chocolate | 5.00 Water | Free
Inside-Out Milkshake | Sm 3.99 | Md 4.99 | Lg 5.99
- Available in Chocolate, Mint, Vanilla and Strawberry