20 Stupid Mistakes [0:00:00]
[Music] In today's video, gents, I'm sharing with
you twenty of the biggest mistakes I made in my 20s, and the lessons that you can learn
from them. Oh! And these first five mistakes, gentlemen,
I'll have one thing in common. Let's see if you can figure it out.
So, mistake number one. I let my friends pressure me into drinking. To this day, I don't like
the taste of alcohol. But, in college, you would have thought that I just loved beer
that I just loved whiskey because I was drinking it all the time. Why? Because my friends told
me to because I wanted to look cool because I wanted to be part of the group.
And, this leads me to mistake number two which is drinking myself into oblivion. Seriously,
I would drink to the point that I would completely pass out. You've seen that movie Animal House
where John Belushi slams that bottle of Jack Daniels? I did something similar. It must
have been like 10 to 14 shots I poured into a glass slant. Let's just say I do not remember
15 to 20 minutes past that point. This was a normal Saturday night. It was how
we thought we would have fun. And here's the thing is I always thought I had to one up
people, I had to do things better. Maybe it's because I'm ultra competitive. But, in my
20s I treated drinking as a competitive sport. So, if you were doing a shot, I was going
to do a shot, and I would not let you one up me.
Here's the deal. If you're going to drink alcohol, learn to control yourself. Drink
in moderation. And, if you can't, then stop drinking. I know for me this is pretty much
the route I've taken. I avoid alcohol because I'm just not a good social drinker.
The next mistake, relying on liquid courage to talk to women. Guys, when I go to a bar,
a club, or a party in which there wasn't even alcohol, I would sneak off and do a couple
shots. I just didn't have the courage. But, really I hadn't practiced I hadn't learned
to develop real relationships with women and it was stunting my growth in developing relationships
with women because I was so reliant on alcohol to be able to speak with them.
It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that all of a sudden I started developing real
relationships with women and I started to understand, you know what? I just need to
practice this, I need to put myself out there, maybe be able to deal with a little bit of
rejection. But, if I could do that, all of a sudden, I didn't rely on a substance to
be able to speak to women. Now, this next mistake is only a mistake I
guess if they catch you, but that is running from the police especially when you are drunk
and you're running and they are riding in a vehicle because they just seem to catch
up with your pretty quick. And this is what happened to me.
I was probably 20 years old and let's just say I was underage drinking. And the police
were going through the bar and I snuck out the back. And one of the cops shined a light
on me and says, “Hey! Stop right there.” And, guess what? I did not stop. I started
running. I was on the cross-country team. Was he going to catch me? Well, he had a cruiser
and he did catch me. Yeah. It did not end well.
So, here is the point, guys, is probably if you're drunk and if you're underage and the
police shine a light in your face, you probably shouldn't run from them. Yeah. If I wasn't
clear on that last mistake, I was arrested and let me be clear on this, next mistake,
I was arrested again drinking and climbing buildings.
So, I used to climb radio communication towers. And I thought that I could climb anything.
But, a few beers and a few shots of whiskey into me and guess what? I'm climbing buildings.
The lesson here, listen to your friends when they try to coax you off the building and
understand you're not indestructible. People care about you, they don't want you jumping
off a building into a tree and thinking that you're going to land then on your feet and
then run off and not get caught. No. Lucky my friend talked me out of that
and I'm still alive today. But, yeah, I did spend another night in jail. And, in case
you didn't catch it, all five of those had alcohol as the common denominator. Make sure
to be careful with this stuff, guys. So, my next big mistake, yeah, not always
wrapping Jimmy. Gents, all I'm going to say is that the clap is real. Seriously, guys,
I got lucky. There's a lot of things out there that are not curable, things that can kill
you, things they can make it embarrassing whenever you do find someone that you want
to spend the rest your life with and you have to explain to them that you've got herpes
or you know you just end up having a kid and you're not ready. So, guys, take care of yourself,
protect yourself, wear protection. So, this next mistake probably related to
that last one is thinking I'm indestructible especially on a motorcycle. My first motorcycle,
I was 19 years old bought a Yamaha 750 Special. And then, I got a Kawasaki Vulcan 1500. Oh,
this was even a bigger bike. I started having fun pulling wheelies on that thing which is
almost impossible, but I did pull a few. And, guys, the point is I was in multiple
accidents and that Kawasaki Vulcan I crashed into the back of a Winnebago. And, with no
helmet on, I survived with a passenger. Both of us walked away, no problem. And, here's
the thing. If you're going to ride motorcycles, wear the gear. Wear the helmet wear the – wear
the jackets. And, actually one of the best decisions I
made was when my son was born I sold my Triumph Sprint ST. I love that bike, but I love my
kids more. And, I realized having multiple accidents in multiple years, that it was just
a matter of time. So, I made the decision I cut out that risk and I think I'm a better
dad for it. And speaking of motorcycles, when somebody
tells you that they can ride bikes and they ask to ride your bike, do not just say yes.
James, I'm looking at you. I let him just jump on the bike and he went like 40 feet
and crashed it. [0:05:01]
It was my fault. I should not have just allowed anybody. But, up to that point, anyone that
asked me to ride my bike, I assumed could ride a bike, but that's not going to be always
the case. But, to be honest, I can't be upset with James too much because I was in a collision
with a borrowed vehicle and I didn't tell anyone about this.
Now, it was a small dent. I didn't think anyone would notice, so I didn't say anything to
them. But then, they ended up because I actually did speak with the person that I hit and we
exchanged information, all of a sudden the insurance company is reaching out to Shawn's
parents and he's like, “What’s going on here?” They're trying to figure out did
he mess this up? Now, Shawn was my roommate and I had to apologize.
I was so embarrassed. And, I can tell you the embarrassment I initially had for the
accident was so much less than the embarrassment I had because I did not – now, I didn't
lie to them, I just didn't tell anybody about this, but you might as well of lied. And I
learned a very valuable lesson right there. Be truthful upfront because, yes, it hurts,
yes, it's painful, but it's going to be more painful and a bigger lie later on.
And, speaking of vehicles, let's talk about getting ripped off. So, when I bought my first
truck, I did not shop around. I walked on to a dealership. I knew I wanted a Chevy truck
because my aunt had driven Chevy and I wished -- I just liked Chevy trucks. And I saw the
Chevy truck that I really liked and I bought it without really shopping around.
Yeah. I was taken for a ride. Not only did I probably overpay for that vehicle, but then
they got me on the second mistake which was I didn't even shop around for financing. And
I didn't understand interest rates. A 20% interest rate on a vehicle in the United States
in the 1990s was not a good deal. And, I trusted the guy. He said he was a former marine. I
just, you know, got my commission, I was about to head off to TBS, I was getting paid money
and he would take care of me, right? Wrong. He took care of me because my credit
probably wasn't actually that great. But, here's the deal, you've got to shop around.
Pay attention to those big purchases and don't be afraid to refinance. And by the way, within
a year, I did refinance that loan, but I didn't get the best rate and I'll tell you why. Because
my credit was shot. Why was my credit shot? Because of this next mistake, I ignored my
financial obligations, my student loans to be specific.
So, the mistake I made here is not understanding what I owed and who I owed and that they would
track me down. Yeah, I knew that I owed money, but I wasn't -- you know I kept moving around,
I was in the military. Ah, that's a good excuse, right? No. They don't care and they will track
you down. It took them nine months to find me, but they found me and they pointed out
you had missed all of these payments. Your credit is hurting here because you know basically
you have skipped out on us. And, the funny thing is I actually have the
money, I just thought for some reason I would be able to escape this. That's not the way
it works. Focus in on your finances and make sure you understand them.
Another big mistake, I took out way too much in student loans. And to be honest, when I
was 18, I didn't know what I was signing. Think about that, you are making decisions
when you're 18, 19, 20 years old that are going to affect you the rest of your life.
And this sounds stupid, I did not know the difference between a loan and a grant.
And, I let one of my grants disappear because I ended up getting bad grades one semester,
I didn't fight it and I lost that grant and guess what? I replaced it with loan. The same
thing, right? I'll be making a lot of money when I graduate.
Guys, be careful of loans. No matter how big, how small, whatever that interest rate is
you got to pay that back, be careful. In the right situation, a loan makes a lot of sense,
but most people I think don't understand. I mean we know it, but we really don't understand
it and we're not taking it as seriously as we should.
And, at this point I'm just going to pile on the loans and credit cards and all that
stuff because if you can make the minimum payment, understand that does not mean you
can afford it. This was a huge mistake I made again and again. Guys, if you're paying the
minimum payment, you will never escape those credit card payments, that car payment, those
loans. You do not want to be just making the minimum payment.
Let me say this again. That does not mean that you can afford it. You want to be able
to pay things off. Again, be careful with loans, understand interest rates.
Now, let's get into relationships. I'm going to be honest. The first half of my 20s, I
was a complete asshole. So my first big mistake here is my relationship with women was all
about one thing, sex. And, I know for a lot of guys, oh, cliché, that's me. But, I think
I was a bit more extreme, that’s all I was interested. I didn't want to get to know them,
I didn't want to go on a date with them. No, I simply wanted sex and the quickest way to
it that was my path. I developed a reputation that stuck with me
the rest of my college career. And it's something I regret because there were a few girls especially
my senior year who I tried to develop relationships with, and I wasn't able to because I had just
that bad of a reputation and they weren't looking for anyone like that.
Why was I doing that? I don't know. Maybe to this day I just think I didn't know what
I was doing. I thought that pure numbers, I thought that actually this was what it was
supposed to be just go after these big numbers, but looking back, it was a big mistake.
[0:09:54] And, after college I didn't get much better.
My mistake is I was so insensitive to women's feelings. This beautiful girl I dated, Alicia.
And I remember -- I mean just drop-dead gorgeous. I don't remember why I broke up with her,
but I do remember how I treated her after I broke up with her.
I drove her home and I played The Cure's love song and she turned it off and I just remember
her just crying the entire way back. I dropped her off, apologized, and left and never saw
her again. And to this day, I feel so bad about what I did to this poor girl. And, those
are things that you got to live with. So, treat other people with respect.
Now, another relationship mistake is I was a bad communicator. So, I would go two weeks
without talking with a girl that I had been dating. I remember Sarah out of Austin and
then there was Delfina out of San Antonio. And I was in the Marines I'm like, “Oh.
I'm going to the field.” And I would not be in the field for about like three to four
days, but I would not talk to them for two weeks. And then, I would call them up, you
know, “Hey, I'm a little bit -- I need some company. Why don’t you come over drive down?”
And, I remember Delfina after a while she actually reached out after that one of these
two weeks stints, she’s like, “I'm sorry. I'm dating somebody else.” And, I think
that's when things changed for me because I actually liked her a lot. And I realized
she had moved on after I hadn't reached out maybe it was a little bit longer than two
weeks, maybe was almost a month. But, I mean I had the audacity to think that
she would be okay with me not talking to her for a month, she would just wait around. She
was a catch. She was a great girl and she moved on. And I think that one I remember,
that hurt me. And I remember thinking, you know what? I need to change.
So, to wrap all that up. When I stopped treating women like sex objects, I actually started
communicating with them better, and I was more sensitive to their feelings, guess what?
I ended up meeting a girl that I was totally crazy about and I developed a real relationship
with her. And it was a long-distance relationship for three years. I ended up marrying her.
We got three kids and things are going pretty good now.
Now, I still have a lot to learn, but, guys, understand you're going to make a lot of mistakes
in relationships in your 20s and this is a time to learn and get better.
Okay. So now, let's talk about style. Here's a picture of me in my 20s. Look at this clothing.
I mean, it is huge. I seriously thought I wore extra large everything; shirts, sweat
tops, jeans. I mean look at the size of those things.
Next up, let's look at this mistake right here. I was caught in a fashion trend and
did not know it, flannels in the 1990. Actually, I kind of wish I still had some of those flannels,
they were really nice, but that was all I wore, a t-shirt with a flannel on top. I was,
oh, yeah, I was rocking that look. All right. So now, I want to talk about one
of the biggest mistakes I made in my 20s again and again and again. And this is going down
a career path that other people told me it was right for me. What -- and they were all
well-meaning people, but they would notice something, “Oh, you're really good at science;
therefore you should be a scientist.” “Oh. You're really good at reading and helping
people, you should be a doctor. They make good money.”
So, guess what I studied when I was an undergrad? I thought it was going to be a doctor the
first two and a half years until I realized I did not want to go down this path, I need
to get out of it. Ended up joining the Marine Corps not because I'd always wanted to be
a marine, but I thought it would be a challenge. I felt I was going down the right path and
I did it for me. And I feel very proud about that experience.
But, when I joined the Marine Corps, I fell into that trap again because what do you want
to do in the Marine Corps? Well, I just wanted to be a marine and then they pointed me towards
the flight program. Well, start off as a pilot, you can always do anything else. But, everyone
wants to be a pilot, right? Did you watch Top Gun? So, I'm going down this again. All
of a sudden, I'm in the flight program. I went through Pensacola. I'm out in Corpus
Christi and I realized I really don't want to be here. And I realized this one, I'm competing
against these guys that aren't amazing. I remember one guy, he's the top of our class
and I was looking at like he was -- I mean I didn't think he was much smarter than me,
but why was he scoring better? It turns out, he had built a simulator in his basement.
Yes, out of wood. It was of course it wasn't real, but it did simulate the ones we had
over on base. And, this just showed me right here that this
guy cared that he really wanted this career path. Me? No. I was out drinking and partying
with my friends having fun. I was just barely doing enough to get by. This guy, of course,
was going to crush me because he was passionate and he loved it.
And, I remember that and I remember like why am I here? And when I had the chance to exit
out, I blew out my sinuses in a T-34, guess what I did? Yeah. I stepped out. I just wanted
to be a marine. I wanted to be around these amazing warriors. And I ended up serving out
my time with having an amazing experience with Battalion 31.
Now, where did I fall into this trap again? In my late 20s. Guess what? I went back to
business school. I took on more loans, got my MBA. Why? Because I didn't know what I
– I listened to society. They said, “Well, go back to school. Get an MBA from a top school.”
I went to Texas. But, here's the deal is, again, I was following
somebody else's path because I really wanted to do, I wanted to start my own company. I
wanted to do my own deal. I didn't know it yet and even though Texas had a good entrepreneurship
program, it really didn't prepare me for starting my own company. I wish I would have started
my first company sooner. [0:15:06]
The point being, the lesson you need to learn here is you can fall into this trap again
and again, but live your life on your terms. Go after what you want in your life.
So, what video to watch next? Check out this one, what lessons I learned in the United
States Marine Corps. People ask me all the time what did I learn in the military. Well,
I dish it out in this video right here. [0:15:28] End of audio