I'm Rebecca Zung,
I’m an attorney and a narcissist negotiation expert and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I provide tips, tricks, and resources so you can turn the tables and
become more powerful against the most toxic personality on the planet.
If that sounds good to you,
I invite you to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
Have you ever been ghosted or lied to?
You’re feeling so awful inside… You're sitting there and
you're feeling like so defeated,
you're wondering, “Should I try to go back to this person?”
Maybe you're wondering if the person is gone,
or the person is still in your life and
still just treating you really poorly and
you're wondering if you should just keep them in your life;
they’ve betrayed you, they've treated you badly,
maybe they're sort of in and out of your life and
they're not good for you.
You're wondering what you should do about it,
or they're just gone, and you're wondering whatever happened to them.
You're just feeling really, really crappy about it and
you're feeling like, what did I do?
Maybe you're just feeling like you're a bad person,
there's something wrong with you and
you just can't trust again and
there's all kinds of stuff that you're feeling and wondering,
How do you stop feeling defeated?
How do you stop feeling like it was you? or,
or all these bad feelings are going through your head and
there's a couple of things I want you to know.
First of all, I want you to think about the fact that it was not you…
If you're dealing with a narcissist, if you're dealing with a bad person,
consider the source, I mean, my dad used to say,
“Consider the source”, “Consider the source” all the time.
One of my favorite books on the planet is “The Four Agreements”,
if you haven't read that book, you need to go get that book.
It's a tiny little book.
It's something you can read in an afternoon,
a couple of hours, it’s four agreements that you make with yourself and
one of the agreements is “Never take anything personally”
because how people treat other people,
is always a reflection of the way they feel about themselves.
Good or bad, I mean, if treat other people well,
it's because they feel good about themselves inside.
So, if they're acting out of love,
they wouldn’t have treated you poorly in the first place.
I mean, if somebody doesn't want to be with you,
they'll just straight up tell you, “I don't want to be with you and
here's why…” and that sort of thing.
If somebody has ghosted you, they've honestly given you a gift,
because they've told you what kind of person they are.
They've given you a gift honestly,
if they had stayed around in your life,
it would have just been causing you more and more misery all the time.
So, they've truly given you a gift,
because they've now left a space for somebody wonderful to be in your life.
You don't need that type of person in your life,
you want that space to be open for a good person to be in your life,
you’ve had it confirmed that that person is not a good person and,
the thing I've learned is that the closure that you're going to get,
is that you have to do your own closure,
you have to learn how to do your own closure for yourself.
I learned how to do that on my own
after I dealt with a narcissist in my own life and
you can't sit there clinging on to a person who didn't want you.
I mean, I used to say to people all the time;
Why do you want to be with a person who doesn't want to be with you?
There's no power in that,
there's certainly no power in wanting to be with a person
who doesn't want to be with you.
There are certain ways to get a narcissist to respect you and
that is definitely not one of them.
By the way, I did a whole video on
“The only way to get a narcissist to respect you” and
you can definitely check that out if you want to check that out,
but that's definitely not the way to get a narcissist to respect you.
You want to be in your own power and
one of the ways to do that,
is to be with a person who definitely wants to be with you and
you deserve that, feel that.
Feel that you know that in your cells.
She was so right about that.
People will show you who they are and
YOU set the bar for how people treat you, YOU show them,
you don't get your goals, you get your standards,
you condition people on how to treat you and
people will treat you accordingly.
So, when someone shows you how they treat you,
their words don't matter, their actions matter.
So I mean, they can say all kinds of things,
they love you, or they don't, whatever,
but it's their actions that actually matter and
they will demonstrate to you how it is that they actually are treating you and
you deserve so much more than that,
so, don't worry about closure,
don't try to get them to explain what they were doing,
or don't you try to explain,
don't try to get them to acknowledge your actions,
none of that; It's not gonna happen.
You’re never going to get that kind of closure,
just move forward, find yourself, find your power in yourself.
Just remember that, if they've moved on, they gave you a gift,
they gave you a gift of showing you who they actually are.
Start feeling that power and pay attention to your gut.
I mean, if somebody is really there for you, you'll feel it, you'll know it.
Your vibrational energy knows it, it knows it on a cellular level and
you will be able to tell if they are actually there for you.
So, if you've been ghosted, or lied to, you will know and
Don't allow it, move forward, find the quality person.
You know, I always say, defend your light with your life,
find the high vibrational energy people,
be with people who want to be with you, that makes the difference in your life.
Even if it's the five most quality people in the world,
that will make a huge difference in the value of your life.
Now, if you're getting ready to negotiate,
make sure you grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet.
If you haven't subscribed to this channel, make sure you do that,
subscribe, hit that notification bell.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
If you haven't joined my free, private Facebook group, you can do that now,
at “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
Remember today is always a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video!