The birds flock together
And peck at that solitude, set adrift.
Inside a warm hole,
I sat, alone, with my arms around my knees.
Be born, be born, be born…
And pass away, pass away, pass away.
When life begins, it is dark.
Death, too, is so dark…
Nobody will lay their eyes upon me.
I am a sinner, beyond redemption.
O, if at least this endless dream could end,
I could depart on my final journey, as well…
Your retreating figure, from that day,
Is burned into my eyes. I want to crush them.
And at the end of this dream, which will not go out,
Lies a pitiful, unenlightened person, who has been left behind.
Someday, always, forever, and now
You will embrace my burning body, and I will sleep.
I scatter petals,
And whilst applying my funeral makeup,
I consume wolfsbane.
In sweet death, I dream…
I cannot die, I cannot die,
Yet I now yearn for death.
I must live, I must live forever…
Being killed and killing…
Killing time in such a way will be punished by God.
Though I did not want to learn
Of freedom and its true meaning, it is dear to me.
I am upon a hill, where the spider lilies bloom profusely.
Come, now, shall we go to Hades – to the realm of the dead?
But it was all just a faint dream.
I burned up and fell to the earth, without returning to it.
O, if at least this endless dream could end,
I could depart on my final journey, as well…
Your retreating figure, from that day,
Is burned into my eyes. I want to crush them.
And at the end of this dream, which will not go out,
Lies a pitiful, unenlightened person, who has been left behind.
Someday, always, forever, and now
You will embrace my burning body, and I will sleep.
Translated by Releska