You're a parent and your kids are driving you nuts.
And you're trying to think, "How can I survive this emotionally as a parent?"
Well, I'm here for you today. Let me show you some things you can do to literally
emotionally survive as a parent.
Okay, I am a dad. I've got 3 boys and my kids started out little tiny like
yours did. And if you got boys or girls, sooner or later, they test your emotions.
Now, if you're a new parent, you get to learn about your emotions and children.
And you get to learn about patience and long-suffering and you also get to
learn what do you do when they break something that was really important to
you? I mean, all these different things tend to like yank and pull at your
emotions. But I'm going to help you right now
and how to literally uplevel your skills as a parent so that you can be more
emotionally in control of yourself. Because the last thing you want to do is
unload your emotions on your children. That's the last thing you want to do. It
scars them, it hurts them, it disturbs them and sooner or later, they're going to
act out those emotions back at you. So, I really believe that the healthy part of
a family is when mom and dad can manage their emotions. Now, how do you do this
with so many kids and and all the different personalities they are? How do
you... How do you do this? Well here's something that I'm gonna suggest to you
that I had to do as a parent so that I could literally love and care for each
one of my boys. Have 3 boys and to be able to literally be in control of my
emotions so I'm not a Yeller. I'm not yelling at my kids. I'm not being
Stern with them because I just don't want to scar them. When I first was a dad,
I made a lot of mistakes. And I would yell and I would do kind of what a lot
of other people do. And when you're mad and upset, you just yell at them because
that supposedly gets their attention, right? But no, it hurts them more than
helps them. So, this is what you do with your kids. What you're going to learn how
to do right now is how to manage your thoughts about your children. If you can
manage your thoughts, you can manage your emotions. When you
manage your thoughts, you can manage your emotions. So first I'm going to teach on
how to manage your thoughts. Now, I have a really cool picture to show you here
like my artist rendition of you. Do you like your brain? It's kind of
weird-looking brain but you know this is your brain. And we, each day, have
experiences with our kids. And these experiences go into our brain. And we
start to build up a story about our kids. And I've heard this from other people
too where they'll say, "Gaul, I love all my kids. But one of my kids is just a rebel.
They're difficult. They're hard to raise. They're hard to understand." And so, we as
parents we start to classify our kids. And then based upon the classification
we give them then that develops a particular attitude towards them. I'm
going to say this again because it's super important to notice. We as parents,
classify our children as being a good kid, a bad kid, a rebel kid, a difficult
kid. And we pick names and we literally classify our children
unconsciously. We do this. Then based upon that title, that we gave our child, we
then develop an attitude towards that child. So, let's say your child is
difficult. Well now, that you have called this child difficult to work with,
now whenever you go to talk to that child, you actually switch attitudes. And
you switch into your difficult child attitude towards this child. And then
when you go to talk to your pleasant child, you'll notice that your attitude
changes. So, we not only just pick these classifications for our children but it
actually affects and influences us with that type of attitude. So, that's a
problem. Because just because the child is being difficult, doesn't make them a
difficult child. And if you classify them as difficult, then you're going to treat
them like they're difficult. And then when you
treat them like they're difficult, they're just going to get worse. So for you
to be a uplevel parent, what you do is you classify your children the way you
want them to be. Not the way that they're acting. You classify your children the
way you want them to be. So, if you want your child to be amazing, you decide, "Hey,
this child is amazing." And if they're being difficult, you go, "You know, I just
love this child because they're just so amazing. There's so much I learned from
this child." But because you call that child amazing, your attitude towards that
child is going to be as though that child is amazing. And you'll treat them like
they're amazing. But I'm going to go back. If you classify them as difficult, you will
treat them as though they're difficult. And you will reinforce that attitude. So,
we as parents, we upgrade our children by choosing classifications that are above
where they're at. I mean, if you're going to pick a classification, why not move your
child up? So, part of an emotional survival of being a parent is we choose
the classifications of our children above where they're at. so we see them as
great. we see them as amazing. we see them as brilliant. one of my three boys had
massive struggles in school. in fact, in the first 3 days of kindergarten, he
got kicked out of school. Oh, my goodness. Within the first 3 days of
kindergarten, he gets kicked out of school. Like they call us and say, "Come
get your child." We're like it's only the third day. And he struggled through first
grade, second grade, third grade. Just struggled. And the teachers and the
principals would tell us that "Your child is difficult." And I believed them. I
believe that he was difficult. And when he'd come home, I would treat
him like he was difficult. Nothing got better. He was difficult and I treated
him like difficult and and he just was difficult. Well, he gets
to middle school and the same thing happens. The teachers and the principal
say that our child is difficult. And it finally clicked to me. You know what? I'm
done thinking my child is difficult. I think my child is a genius. So, we called
a meeting. And we got the principal and all his teachers in the same meeting. And
we stood up in the meeting. My wife and I stood up in the meeting and we told the
principal and we told the teachers. "This child is not difficult. This child is a
genius. And I want all of you to treat this child like he's a genius."
Within the next quarter, our child went from D's and F's to a A's and B's. And
the one thing that changed was how we classified him. How we named him. How we
what we were calling him. And I asked those teachers that principal talked to
this child treat this child like he's a genius and you will see genius come out
of him. And at home helping him with his homework. I would say, "You know, you're a
genius. You know you're going to figure this out. You know this is going to be great."
And we turned our child from a difficult child into a genius. And still to this
day, he is a genius. And he is so intelligent. He can figure anything out
about anything. His mind is just active to becoming a genius. So, how you name
your child and it will affect your brain. And it'll affect how you teach them. So,
you can tell right now that your thoughts govern your emotions. If this
child is difficult, we'll all my aggressive emotions are going to come up.
But if my child is a genius, all my loving caring and supportive emotions
are going to come up. So emotional management starts with how we name our
children. What we're calling our children. Now, this part about there's something
that needs to come out of us. If you get emotionally charged about one of your
children and it's tough and it's difficult. And you're having a
questions about it. Even if you've called them a genius and they're amazing and
you're having emotions about it. Instead of having those emotions come up and be
pointed at your child, when those emotions are inside of you, you take
those emotions and you put them in your journal. You do not point them at your
child. Because if you have emotions come up about one of your children, those
emotions will stay right there and get thicker and bigger and thicker and
bigger until sometime you're going to literally pull the trigger and blast
them with those emotions. You're going to hurt that child. When you have emotions
come up, you take the emotions out and you put them in a journal. Do not blast
your children with emotions. You're supposed to be the parent. The one who's
in control. The one who can manage themselves. You're not the one who's
supposed to be the one out of control. No, you're a parent. You get in control. And
the way you get in control as you put your emotions in a journal. Not on their
face. So, you put in good names about your children. And if you have emotions come
out, it goes out on a journal. These emotions that come out, do not go on the
child. These 2 steps are going to help you be a better parent and help you be more
in in control of yourself. And that you actually have an influence
on this child. You do not unload on your child and you
do not degrade your child with a classification or a name that degrades
them. We're here as parents to raise incredible children. They just need
incredible parents. And that's where you can do better. And that's where I can do
better and you can do better. But we can do better. Pick a better name and don't
unload the emotions on them unload your emotions in a journal. It's going to make
you a fantastic parent. Great training, right? I know. Kind of ruffles your
feathers a little bit. It's like, "Wow, I got some things to change." And if you're
a parent who you know you have to do change some things, hey you're not alone. But make the
changes. Now, to help you from this point on, stay close to me. Subscribe to our
channel here so I can send you... Automatically send you the next training
video that I have. Every training I have, I'm thinking about you. And what you're
going through and what could help you. The second thing I'm going to suggest to
you is to look at my website or click the link here below and look at a course
that I have called Royalty And Romance. My wife and I, Kim and I, teach that class
and it's about parents, couples moving up to that next level. And guess what?
Royalty and Romance is a lot about emotional management. Because wow, when
you manage your emotions, you can have two great relationships. Because when you
don't manage your emotions, it can really mess up your relationship.
So check out Royalty and Romance. We'd love to see at the class and we'd love to see
you move up to that next level in life. Because life is there for you to live.