Here's the thing, I want you to
think for a moment
as a man who is in a relationship.
The last thing he wants
is to try to find a side chick
who is going to be clingy,
who is going to be a problem for him,
who's not going to
accept their role in his life.
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Hey what's going on everybody,
welcome to today's video.
My name is Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks.
And what we're talking about today is
a question I get asked so much
whenever I do events from clients,
DMs, messages.
To get right to it,
you're asking me
why do you always get approached
by married or taken men.
All right, now, before I get into the answer
as always, be sure to subscribe to the channel,
like, and share this video.
And I want you to vote below yes or no.
Have you experienced constantly
getting approached by taken men?
Is this an issue that you are experiencing?
I want to see how many people
are going through this on a consistent basis.
Now, there's a few different reasons
I actually got about four reasons
why this happens, all right.
And I want to lead off with
the one that I find to be the most common.
The one that I think
doesn't get talked about enough.
And it's a huge, huge issue that
creates problems in other areas of your life as well.
So, let me also say
before I give this first reason, my apologies.
Is that please understand
it doesn't matter who you are as a woman,
almost every woman
is likely going to be approached
by a married or taken man
at some point in their life,
whether knowingly or unknowingly.
And so, it's going to happen regardless of whether
you're a great woman,
whether you're giving off this energy, that energy,
whatever, it will happen.
However, this video is focusing on
the women who are constantly seeing that,
are experiencing the pattern of it.
Because it's one thing that happen here and there.
It's nothing when it seems like almost
all these guys
are constantly married or taken.
So, let's get to it. I know you're anxious.
Here is the biggest one.
The biggest reason
why married men approach you
is because you come off
emotionally detached, all right.
So, let me explain what this means.
Here's the thing, I want you to
think for a moment
as a man who is in a relationship.
The last thing he wants
is to try to find a side chick
who is going to be clingy,
who is going to be a problem for him,
who's not going to accept
their role in his life.
And so, when you come off
as an emotionally detached woman,
you become the prime candidate for a side chick
because you come off as someone
who is going to know your role.
You come off as someone
who's not going to get all
emotionally invested.
Who's going to take what they're given,
who's going to be happy with the dynamic
and keep it moving.
And you can give off that energy
and they're picking up on it.
Even some men who can't articulate it,
that's what they're picking up on
that draws them to you.
Because they think you are more likely
to be okay with this scenario.
You're going to be okay.
Not that they think
100 % you'll be down, all right.
Not that you have
I'm willing to be a side chick
written on your forehead,
but when you come off emotionally detached,
you are a safer bet.
You are a higher probability of
accepting this role and thriving in their eyes
or in their perception of things,
thriving in this role.
Whereas, the woman who it seems to be
more emotionally in tune.
Who seems to be more willing to
hold to a standard of emotional investment,
she's going to be problematic,
it's going to be too much trouble.
And so, he doesn't want that,
he won't deal with that.
So, you got to really ask yourself,
am I giving off that vibe?
And one of the key things that plays into that is
you have walls up.
And when you got walls up,
and again, we could argue that
a lot of people have walls up.
But the emotionally detached,
You got walls,
you got snipers on the roof,
you got lame eyes in front of the walls.
you ain't letting nobody in.
And so, the more detached you come off,
the more you seem prime
or the more you seem like a great candidate
for a guy who's already in a relationship.
So, that's the number one thing to focus on.
Number two, number two reason that
you are being approached by married men.
You give off a lot of masculine energy.
So, again, this kind of
plays right into being emotionally detached
and having walls up.
When you give off a lot of masculine energy,
you come off more so,
as someone who is operating in
the logical and not the emotional.
Now, I don't want that to sound like an insult
in any kind of way.
But I want you to understand that again,
as a woman who is more in her feminine
she is coming more off,
coming off more emotionally in tune.
Someone who's more emotionally invested into things.
And that person
for a man who's looking for a side chick
is more problematic.
For the woman who comes off
very masculine, all right.
Very straight forward,
in his mind it's like you're like him.
As in, you will just break down in your mind
are you willing to accept this or not?
Does this work for you or not?
But once you've accepted it
you're not going to cross that line.
You're not going to be the woman that says
yes, I'm down to be your side chick
and then two months later switch up on him
and want a for our relationship,
want him to leave his partner.
When you give off that masculine energy,
you seem like someone
who's going to fit that role so much better.
Whereas the woman
who was walking more her feminine,
there's a greater concern that
even if she initially goes along with it
she's going to switch up.
And again, she is going to be problematic.
So, the amount of masculine energy
that you're giving off
is going to cause a problem.
And again, it goes hand in hand pretty much
with being emotionally detached
and having walls up.
The more guarded you are,
the more emotionally detached you are,
the more you're likely to give off
more masculine energy
and much less feminine energy.
And that is going to shoot you in the foot
and make you a greater magnet
for married and taken men.
Number three reason why
married or taken men keep approaching you,
they're sensing desperation.
Now listen, I do not want anyone
to feel bad when I say that
and I don't want you to look down on yourself
or beat yourself up.
But the reality is this.
There are some women
and if it's not you,
you've seen it in other women
who are so desperate to have a man.
They will take a piece of a man
if they can't have the whole man.
And sometimes yes,
there are men who pick up on this desperation.
Who pick up on the fact that
you will be happy with what they give you.
And that for a man who's already in a relationship
is a prime situation.
What better scenario for that kind of guy
than to have a woman
who will just be happy with what you give her.
Who will not hold you to the standard
of giving your all,
of fully investing,
of being the man she needs you to be.
This is what he's looking for.
He's looking for a convenient situation.
He's looking for something that's more manageable.
And the more desperate you come off,
the more you don't seem to have
tapped into your self-worth,
your self-esteem, and be confident as a woman,
the more likely you are
to agree to this scenario.
And so, again,
it draws that kind of man to you.
Now, some men again,
will not be able to fully articulate that
and how they decide who they're going to talk to
or they're going to approach.
But they're still picking up on it.
They still sense it in other ways
or they're still evaluating
a woman who does not seem to have great self-worth.
So, she is going to be more likely to accept
what I have to give her.
And then, the last reason, is simply because
some of you are just going to be highly
or are just highly desirable women
or very beautiful women
and some men regardless of their situation
want to take their shot.
And there's nothing you can do about that.
And again, I would argue that
if you are a highly desirable woman
or you are a very beautiful woman.
If you are making sure
you're giving off the right energy,
you're walking in your feminine energy,
I still believe that
you will not see this become
a huge pattern in your life.
But if you combine
being very desirable or very attractive.
When I say very desirable,
I'm saying from a superficial standpoint.
I'm saying from on the surface.
Because they don't know who you are as a woman
deep on the inside.
But they can see what you're presenting or
the energy that you're exuding in that moment.
And if you are
physically very attractive
or physically draw a lot of men to you,
and then you add on top of that
emotionally detached,
lots of masculine energy,
and even low self-worth.
Because being very beautiful,
being very attractive,
being very desirable
doesn't always equal high confidence.
And so, if you combine all those things,
oh, my gosh like, you're almost guaranteed
and I hate to laugh I'm sorry.
But you're almost guaranteed
that you're going to draw
a lot of those types of guys.
And they're going to think
they have a legitimate shot with you.
You know what I'm saying?
So, it's going to happen for some people,
for some women regardless.
But again, it's about
is this a constant pattern in your life?
So, if you want to see this change
because I'm just explaining why it happens,
but I also want you to understand
how you can start to at least diminish this pattern
and start to see a change
in the type of guys who approach you.
You've got to pay attention to your energy.
And when we say energy,
I will even more so say your spirit.
I think that, for me being a man of God
I want to use the word spirit
more often than energy.
But I really think they go hand in hand
they're the same thing.
And so, you have to be mindful of
what kind of spirit are you giving off.
And if you are walking more in masculine energy,
are you walking with walls up?
Are you emotionally detached?
Do a self-inventory of you and find out
are these things real in your life?
And if they are,
we got to get to the bottom of it.
And to correct them,
the reality is you have to heal.
Now, I won't get into
all the healing steps right now.
If you need, you recognize
you need healing in your life,
I highly, highly suggest you get my book
Love After Heartbreak.
It will give you all the steps to healing,
it will definitely change your life if you follow it
as its laid out in the book.
And it's been helping and changing
a lot of people's lives already.
It's a book for men and women.
But this video is obviously speaking to women.
But that's for the healing.
But understand,
that is what's going to be necessary
if you want to change
these traits that we talked about
that's attracting and causing
more married and taken men to approach you.
So, do not get discouraged, all right.
Do not let frustration get the best of you.
Take a step back, evaluate if
any of the things that we mentioned today apply to you
and let's start making the adjustments.
But again, that starts with healing
and making sure that now
you are giving off the right energy.
And you're also, let me say this
because sometimes things just hit my spirit
and I've got to mention it.
If you want real love,
if you want a serious relationship,
you've got to believe you can receive it.
If you don't believe that
it even exists for you,
then you are going to increase
your ability to receive the bad people,
the ill-intentioned men,
the men who are taken or in relationships.
Because again,
your negative perception is the wall,
your negative perception
is bad energy, bad spirit coming off of you.
You've got to change that,
you've got to walk in positivity.
You have to walk in love.
You have to walk in healing.
This is what's going to help you
receive what you truly desire.
So, start believing it exists.
Start believing God has something amazing for you
and you will start to see things
play out differently in your life.
So, I hope this video was helpful to you.
Again, if you are experiencing,
or tell me yes or no,
if you are experiencing a lot of men
who are married or taken approaching you.
And again,
be sure to like the video, subscribe,
and I'll see you in the next video.
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