Sinéad O'Connor was a rebel, a warrior,
and one of music's boldest icons — but her life was also marked by tragedy and loss.
Sinéad O'Connor's childhood was void of proper parental
care. In a 1991 interview with Spin, she said:
"My mother was a very unhappy woman, who was very, very violent and found it very
difficult to cope with life, because of obviously her own experiences as a child."
O'Connor revealed that she was often physically hit, denied food,
and even locked in her room. The musician said of her siblings:
"We were neglected, we were beaten, we were abused psychologically and emotionally."
In an appearance on Dr. Phil years later, Sinéad further accused her mother, Marie O'Connor,
of sexual abuse. According to O'Connor, her mother also spent most of her days in bed,
indulged in excessive drug use, and rarely kept the household in good working condition. Needless
to say, their relationship was extremely rocky, and the lack of unconditional love
and warmth Sinéad experienced as a child built a resentment toward her mother. Nevertheless,
O'Connor took a more empathetic approach while reflecting on their disconnection.
"I hate not being able to love her. I hate not being able to have taken care of her,
maybe given her some love back. Nobody helped her."
O'Connor's mother died in a car crash in 1985.
In addition to the traumatic experiences she underwent at home, Sinéad O'Connor developed
a stealing habit in order to appease her mother. Her sister did, too. As a result,
they had several run-ins with the law. In her Spin interview, O'Connor revealed:
"One of the ways we made sure my mother didn't beat us up was to
come home with money and things like that. I had always been encouraged
to steal. [...] I had always been in trouble with the police for stealing."
Her performance in school was also admittedly dismal,
since she was barely supervised and often stayed up into the night. Moving homes
from her mother to her father at age 13 sadly didn't warrant a change of behavior,
despite being enrolled in a correctional facility. O'Connor explained that she simply didn't know
how to function in society as a result of her abusive and neglectful upbringing. She added:
"They were nice people, but nobody ever sat me
down and worked with me in order to rehabilitate me back into society."
In 1992, Sinéad O'Connor was scheduled to perform a rendition of Bob Marley's
"War" on Saturday Night Live. In the 2002 book Live from New York:
An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live, the show's music coordinator, John Zonars,
revealed a little more about the agreement he had made with O'Connor's manager. Apparently,
the singer was to address child sexual abuse by bringing into focus a picture of a child at
the very end of her performance. That's what she actually did in rehearsal — but when the
live broadcast came to an end, she infamously tore up a photograph of Pope John Paul II.
An uproar ensued — one that nearly cost O'Connor her career. She initially made a
vow to quit songwriting after being heckled at Madison Square Garden shortly after. Speaking
about her bold act on Dr. Phil, O'Connor explained more about what she had done:
"The photo itself had been on my mother's bedroom wall all my life.
I was genuinely very angry with what the church were doing."
But O'Connor had no regrets. She later told the Guardian:
"There was no more mistaking this woman for a pop star. But it was not derailing; people say,
'Oh, you f---ed up your career' but they're talking about the career they had in mind
for me. [...] It meant I had to make my living playing live, and I am born for live performance."
Sinéad O'Connor once told Oprah Winfrey that she attempted to take her own life
on her 33rd birthday. The musician continued to openly struggle with suicidal attempts and
ideation throughout her life. In a since-deleted website post explaining the cancelation of a 2012
tour after a fallout with her management, she revealed that in January of that year:
"I actually contemplated jumping out of a moving taxi because of the way
in which I was being spoken to and treated by my management."
A series of concerning tweets shared by O'Connor in 2011 also drew social media attention — one
post, which saw her seeking how to die by suicide without her children's knowledge, led to police
instigating a safety check at her home. In a later post published on her website, O'Connor said:
"I have been so traumatised over the years by this treatment of me
as if I'm a mad woman [...] I have often and still often struggle with
suicidal feelings when I am subjected to this 'mad' Sinéad O'Connor business."
Noting that the incident led to her getting the help she needed, O'Connor added:
"I have no shame around the fact that I can be shot into suicidal
feelings by certain people's treatment of me."
In 2015, O'Connor revealed on Facebook that she had taken a drug overdose. Two years later,
another Facebook video saw the singer-activist express her continued struggle with suicidal
ideation, resulting in a hospitalization in New Jersey. Both posts were later deleted.
In May 2016, Sinéad O'Connor was reported missing. Chicago police announced that
O'Connor had been last spotted on a bicycle ride in Wilmette, Illinois,
where she was living with friends, but hadn't been seen in the last 24 hours. Although she
had disappeared in the early hours of the day, she'd taken to Facebook at about 9am to voice
an ongoing family feud over the custody of her then-12-year-old son, Shane Lunny,
who'd been sent to a foster home. Thankfully, O'Connor was eventually found safe. Soon after,
she expressed her frustrations with her loved ones, publicly reprimanding her father,
her first husband, John Reynolds, and her eldest son, Jake Reynolds. On Facebook, O'Connor wrote:
"None of you will ever see me again because of what you've done. If I manage not to kill myself,
you'll be paying the medical costs which have been and will continue to be involved with that, since
you were and remain, the chief co-ordinator of my total psychological and emotional destruction."
In 1990, Sinéad O'Connor released the song "My Special Child" on her second studio album,
I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got. In her 1991 chat with Spin, O'Connor explained:
"The song itself is about my experience with having had an
abortion last year and how I dealt with that and how it made me feel."
According to O'Connor, her pregnancy wasn't an accident. She and her partner at the time had
it all mapped out, but their relationship took a different turn. The possibility of
being a single parent weighed in heavily on her, and eventually led to the difficult choice of
termination. However, O'Connor emphasized that it was the right call for her, and that people
ought to be given autonomy over their own bodies. She said:
"The whole issue is pro-choice. [...] Nobody has the right to tell anyone else what to think or
believe. Especially the Catholic church with the amount of murdering and pillaging that it's done."
"Fight the real enemy!"
Prior to the decision, O'Connor revealed, she had miscarried three pregnancies,
which also made her doubtful of her body's ability to carry the baby to term.
Sinéad O'Connor married and divorced four times, an aspect of her life that
she didn't particularly take a liking to. In 2014, she told the Irish Sun:
"I wish I hadn't ever got married. Silly cow. Four times. [...] Now I can't ever get married
once and properly. Anyway, I look stupid in dresses. And clearly, I'm a crap wife."
The singer first walked down the aisle with John Reynolds in 1987. They welcomed a son,
Jake Reynolds, and split in 1991. O'Connor next tied the knot with journalist Nick Sommerlad in
a low-key 2001 wedding, but the pair parted ways in 2004. O'Connor said "I do" again when
she privately wed her bandmate, Steve Cooney, in 2010. That union would last a year. Her
final try at matrimony was to therapist Barry Herridge. However, O'Connor hinted at a split
from Herridge barely three weeks after their quick 2011 Las Vegas nuptials due to disagreements with
her in-laws over their whirlwind dash to the altar. In a blog post at the time, she said:
"It became apparent to me that if he were to stay with me he would be losing too much to bear."
The pair briefly patched things up, only to drift apart again. As O'Connor told the Irish Sun:
"I think I was trying to be normal. [...] Of course, there's nothing at all normal about
marrying people you hardly f---ing know. Luckily they were nice guys. Thank f---."
Throughout her life, Sinéad O'Connor was vocal about being diagnosed with bipolar disorder,
as well as her other struggles with mental health, such as complex PTSD and borderline
personality disorder. Often, she posted videos on social media that addressed her
mental state and sought help from professionals. In some instances,
such as revealing her suicide attempt on Facebook in 2015, O'Connor had not an ounce
of regret in her bones over being vulnerable to the public. In 2021, she told People magazine:
"I was mental. But I don't regret those 'embarrassing' videos. I'm quite proud,
in a weird way, that I was that open. The nature of a singer is to be emotionally
honest. I've always been pretty open. And I have no regrets."
Her words echoed her prior sit-down interview on Dr. Phil,
during which the renowned psychologist affirmed that O'Connor was on a mission to
change how people viewed and stigmatized those who struggle with mental illness.
"You are absolutely inspirational to millions of others."
Dr. Phil's team checked her into a Nashville mental health facility soon after in 2017.
For her part, O'Connor told People that she was getting the help she needed. She said:
"I manage very well because I've been taught brilliant skills. There was a lot of therapy.
It's about focusing on the things that bring you peace as opposed to what makes you feel unstable."
Sinéad O'Connor's son, Shane Lunny, went missing in January 2022. Through Twitter,
O'Connor pleaded for her son's safe return, asking him to surrender to
the Irish police. The search for Shane was abandoned days later when a body fitting
his description was discovered in the Bray area of Wicklow, located south of Dublin.
O'Connor would later reveal that Shane had died by suicide. On Twitter, she wrote:
"My beautiful son, [...], the very light of my life,
decided to end his earthly struggle today and is now with God. May he rest in peace
and may no one follow his example. My baby. I love you so much. Please be at peace."
Sinéad O'Connor died a little over a year and a half after losing her son.
She was 56 years old. The family released a statement that read:
"It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of our beloved Sinéad. Her family and
friends are devastated and have requested privacy at this very difficult time."
According to the BBC, O'Connor was found unconscious at her London residence,
where she was pronounced dead soon after.
O'Connor, who'd relocated to London weeks prior, had just announced on Facebook that
she was wrapping up recording a new album, with hopes to tour internationally in the
coming years. The shocking news of the Irish singer-activist's death was received with great
sadness by O'Connor's fanbase and various celebrities. Actor Jamie Lee Curtis wrote:
"I loved her. Her music. Her life. [...] She was a warrior. She was a
rebel. She ripped up a photograph that was on her mother's wall because of the
hypocrisy of the abusive life she was raised in under the banner of
the church. This is so sad. [...] Rest well. Rest in power. Rest in peace."
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