Have you ever noticed how a narcissist just hates some things?, well that's exactly what we're talking about today at QueenBeeing.com.
Why the narcissist just hates some things and whether or not you should care.
So let's get started. (Closed captioning provided by Athena Moberg and
CPTSDfoundation.org. My name is Angie Atkinson and on this channel, I offer free daily video coaching to help you discover,
understand and overcome
narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. I like to call it toxic relationship rehab.
So if that sounds good to you, hit that Subscribe button and let's get going.
Now you already know that
narcissists tend to be kind of prickly when it comes to certain behaviors or certain things that you do,
but are you aware of all the things that really bother them? Well, we're about to talk about that, so take a look.
Have you ever noticed how when you start to get excited about or succeed at or feel really happy about well almost anything,
your narcissist kind of starts to hate you for it.
And if other people notice your excitement or success and they comment on it,
the narcissist becomes enraged or offended generally they feel a little slighted by it, right?
They minimize you, they tear you down, they focus on what you're not doing in order to achieve that success.
Narcissists always have to make you miserable whenever anything good happens in your life.
So you've got a big project going or you started a business or you're the PTA
President or your company just gave you a big promotion and a raise. You're super excited, you're taking action, you're making things happen.
Maybe you're getting a lot of positive attention for it, right? It feels good.
The narcissist starts arguments and attacks you, you become paralyzed, you fail to take action. If you weren't making money, the
narcissist talks about how stupid you are or letting yourself be taken advantage of by
whatever it is or whoever it is that you're so excited about, in whatever you're working on. If you are making money, the narcissus will
be like, all you care about is money,
don't you care about the family?, don't you care about this or that or the other thing, don't you care about me?,
or they minimize the effect of the money that you're making in the household.
They tease you, they try to mentally beat you down and to often - this little game;
it works like a charm. The narcissist will verbally and psychologically
abuse you back into submission and you retreat into your head. You stop talking about your project.
Stop talking about your job or your business or your PTA presidency,
and if the narcissist has anything to say about it -
you're eventually gonna quit doing that thing that makes you so happy.
Quit doing that thing that you love and spend your time focusing on him or her instead. That's what they want.
Why do narcissists to fail?. Why do they need to fail?.
Why do they hate it so much when you succeed?. Reason number 1 my friend. They are jealous of your success.
It doesn't matter if they are equally or more successful than you, equally or more happy than you,
equally are more excited than you about something.
They almost feel offended by the fact that whatever you're doing is getting attention from other people, is making you happy.
Naturally people are going to be excited for you, naturally
you're gonna be excited for you sometimes and you're gonna get hate from some people, that's life. When you start to be happy and succeed and
stuff, some people are gonna be assholes,
it's a fact, but when your own spouse or your parent or your friend or your coworker can't be happy for you - feels like hell
doesn't it?. The
narcissist is resentful of your
success, because they think you don't deserve it or that they deserve it more than you and that it should be them
not you in that happy
successful place or both. They feel more entitled to
happiness and success than you and they conveniently
ignore the fact that you've worked your ass off - take it there or you've worked really hard to find this passion or whatever
you're naturally talented - They don't like it. All they know is that they don't have whatever you have.
You have something they don't have and they don't like that. They want that thing too. Reason number 2.
They feel threatened by your success or they think you're trying to make them look bad or that you've somehow encroached on their ever,
so specific comfort zone. Narcissist only like change when it's about them. Getting more attention and more of what they want.
They don't want you to break out of that little box they set up for you
okay?, and hey, they've got no problem with trying to push you right back into .
You might be making them feel uncomfortable with your success, your happiness, because they feel like you're somehow doing it to despite them.
They take it very personally or you want to challenge them.
They're so focused on being the center of their universe,
and if you have the nerve to have a life outside of the narcissist,
they're insulted. You then are no longer making them number 1 in your life and they don't like that,
it's ridiculous. Reason number 3. They see use an extension of themselves - therefore;
You don't deserve success after all, you must have built your success on lies - according to the narcissist.
All they know is that in their eyes - you're not even a real person, so
that means that you must also be pulling the wall over everybody else's eyes, right?. You're faking it;
They think, and pretty soon people are gonna find out. In their minds there's a certain way success is supposed to look.
Yeah,
there's a certain type of person who deserves to have it and despite your obvious
achievements or your obvious
excitedness about something or
happiness about something, the
narcissist doesn't think you're one of those people who deserves it and doesn't think you're one of those people who's worthy of,
you don't match. They have very narrow profile of what it is
that success is supposed to look like or happiness is supposed to be. How dare you succeeded anything at all -
They think. If you ask me, it's all about projection. The narcissist projects his or her own
insecurities onto you and then is offended when you don't manifest those insecurities. Reason number 4.
They have an opinion of you and it does not fit the image of the you that you have
become due to your success or your happiness or your excitedness.
This makes them feel like you've wronged them somehow, like you've got outside the box they drew for you. They built it for you in
their own heads. They feel betrayed, like you've done this to them, to them!.
They have decided long ago that you were inferior to them, any other idea to them is absolutely not acceptable.
They can't deal with it. Reason number 5. They feel like you're stealing their spotlight.
That's where they're supposed to be, the spotlight.
Since you are clearly inferior to the narcissist, according to him or her they need to think that you're wrong
to even try to get the spotlight. You might not have even be trying to do that.
The narcissist always needs to feel superior to you.
They need to control you and you really need to remain inside their little box for you, if you're gonna get along with them.
If you get compliments on your work or your looks or your kids or your house.
They're gonna figure out a way to take credit for those things or they're gonna straight-up attack you. They might say you're dressing too slutty
or being too flirty,
especially if somebody compliments you on your looks or they might rage against you
privately for trying to get attention from everybody,
even if you're not trying to do it anyway. The narcissist will do anything possible to regain your attention including
stopping giving you their attention. They might also pull away emotionally or feel personally attacked.
If you have been successful, they will deny that they have a problem with you and they will absolutely
trivialize your efforts, your opinions, your thoughts and your actions,
which will be considered less than or fake,
somehow by the narcissist. They will actively attempt to sabotage any success or happiness or excitement you have about anything by putting you down
emotionally, psychologically,
abusing you in these ways, even directly attacking you so that you are focused on their drama,
so focused on it that you almost feel like you can't even try to succeed, then
of course you give up and they get what they want, huh?.
You have to remember that the narcissist no matter how
secure they seem, a narcissist is the most insecure person you probably know in real life.
It is all a front, in reality they are
pathologically envious,
pathologically rage-filled, emotionally abusive. They cannot stand to see you happy. They cannot stand to see you successful.
They definitely don't want to see you excited about anything except for them, because in their minds any amount of success or happiness or excitement
that you find in your life -
it feels like a huge betrayal to them, because secretly they wish it were them who had those feelings,
who had that attention, who had that excitement, that happiness, that success, but since they can't see it or they can't admit it to themselves,
they simply focus on how can they take you down a notch or two. So, how do you deal, you do it
anyway.
You consider the source and you remember that when someone insults you it's really,
really a reflection of them,
not you. You remember that you are worthy of your success and
you shut the narcissist down by not reacting to his or her bad behavior.
You succeed, despite the narcissists attempts
to make you fail and you keep going, you don't give in and you my friend,
you don't give up, you become a force of nature and you eventually learn how to use their abusive
tendencies to drive you to become even more
successful,
be excited about stuff in your own life and you don't allow the narcissus to hurt you anymore. Each time a
narcissist tries to take you down and notch my friend, I want you to stop playing the game,
I want you to get off the crazy ass merry-go-round, that is a toxic relationship
and I want you to fly like you have never flown before.
You win, you can, I want you to win and don't want you to look back. Alright,
now this brings me to the question of the day and the question of the day is;What would you add to my list?
What other kinds of things do narcissists hate? Share your thoughts, share your ideas,
share your experiences in the comments section below and let's talk about it.
Now I'd like to offer a really quick shout out to my amazing channel members, to my inner circle.
Thank you so much for being a part of this channel, for helping me to make this channel better for everyone else and
to spread my mission even further. I really appreciate you, I really appreciate that
you took a chance on me and that you're here supporting my mission here at YouTube to help survivors of narcissistic abuse
discover, understand and overcome their situations so that they can evolve and become the people they truly want to be. Thank you,
it means so much to me. My awesome channel members and inner circle
include; Angela Falsetta. Susan Marion. Roxanne Antle. Deborah.
Lorenzo D. Life's Revival. Tricia Wolf. James F.
Marlene. Jen Archer. Sarah Lee. Patricia Keenham. Delila De ballsack and Darla Berg.
Alright, now that's all I've got for you right now,
but as always thank you so much for being a part of my day and a part of my life and hey!,
thanks for letting me be a part of yours,
it really does mean a lot to me. Now before I go make sure you take a look at the videos
I'm leaving for you right here and right there and while you're here hit that Subscribe button right down there. I'll see you soon.