give me that camera
pass it over let me have a look i don't believe you
bloody and he's not backwarding coming forward is he it's not his fault he's not feeling himself no
he's feeling that woman in the wheelchair it's the electric shock it's left him vulnerable
and an easy target you don't look very vulnerable to me right i'm off where are you going ma'am
where'd you think i'm going i'm going to find that woman and give it a good feeling too
what do you want i just want to see if you read all that after yesterday
i'm fine no thanks to you thank you pardon you're worth me but i've been to you i want to bang me
out on the bottom of the pool why'd you wear that out you've done enough damage why can't you leave
the man in peace we've been in peace this idiot's like you get people killed are you calling an
idiot you [ __ ] all right ladies that's enough [ __ ] you can't talk to me like that my father
fell at normandy i don't care if you went over titting scum though you're the [ __ ]
can we just all calm down sing yourself lucky you should be up for attempted murder right that's it
break it up now dude fat boys you caused problems here before i remember up yeah yeah
well keep away from me julia keep away on your bike and that goes for two
shared turtley wheelchair maneuver oh what would your mommy i'm going
oh the frigg's touche turtle
mick mick wake up what time is it she's there hey
the woman in the photo with mel she's there that's erin tittell yeah that's her definitely
where's your mom not here thank god where's mel it's in his room i saw him on the balcony
oh [ __ ]
hi you
you talking to me yes i'm talking to you miss butter wouldn't melt him in knickers i'll beg your
pardon you'll be begging for more than my pardon when i get old of you might you okay
come over here and say that you saggy-faced old cow
oh mom just ignore her she's mad oh yes that's the kind of language
i expect from an old who goes around interfering with other women's fellas
you know what i'm talking about in that bar this afternoon
let's get you out the way wait for me mom oh mom just leave it
foreign
come on let's go in are you insane i wouldn't miss this for the world
i've met your type before all fur coat and no knickers and i've met your type before
i used to work in a nut house what the bloody hell is going on here
is this the bloke you've been going on about the one that tried to fill me up in the bar
huh i might have known feeling up i was disengaging your safety switch that's
what they call it these days can't find a man of your own so start sniffing around somebody else's
you're desperate i'd have to be desperate to shag that leathery old dwarf
right that does it
ah
what are you doing you stupid cow oh she's blinding me
oh
that's it i've had enough you clear all your stuff out of your room and slingy look because
you're barred from the hotel thanks she started it there's seven of them and they're here for a week
they've spent more money oh come on let's go
packing all them come on come on back to where you came from magi can't believe you
saw it look at another woman i thought you were going off me going off yeah i'll show
you how much i'm going off here we're getting married here in benidorm before we go back home
no are you in are you out i'm in right come on don't know about you but i need a drink
though i'm confused can she walk or can't she why walk down the aisle when you can glide
uh dearly beloved jesus the vicar's got more makeup on than me here on this wonderful
sunny afternoon and between shows to witness the marriage of mel and match
it is at this time that i would like to say a few words on behalf of shall we sit together i'm on my
own as well oh yes anytime during this gay musical that we call life i urge your wife to the final i
am sorry well she didn't exactly leave me she just needed some space oh i see well i suppose
have been lucky enough to find each other during life's closing number jesus just pushed the boat
out here this must have cost him a fortune don't worry there's plenty more where that came from
if any one person here present knows of any lawful impediment
to this marriage then he or she should declare it now
hey
it's your last chance i've got my car with me we can go anywhere you want did someone order a taxi
jesus christ that love from last night if you won't come with me just
give me one more kiss i can't stop thinking about you get rid of him
okay janice janice one more i don't think he's all there i think he might have
learning difficulties he'll have walking difficulties if he comes anywhere near me
shall we continue yeah celeste do you maj delilah baron take melvin churchill harvey as your lawful
wedding what was all that about to happen behold what did he mean another kiss i honestly have no
idea or in health to love and to cherish till death do you part i do do you melvin churchill
harvey kate i know i've handled this situation badly but people make mistakes martin i've been to
see someone this morning a lawyer a doctor oh my god i knew there was something wrong i'm pregnant
but when did we the night of the arm wrestling match
but we were told i couldn't give you a baby people make mistakes
to love and to cherish till death do you part yes
sorry
to love and to cherish till death do us part
oh
he said i do i heard him hey that was lucky wasn't it get out the way you did it mel mel
can you hear me oh my god that's it i've lost him that big fat lump tried to kill him the last time
he's done it now am i going to do his feet are moving yeah his feet are moving it's not dead
come on dad you can make it don't go towards the light whatever you do don't go towards the light
come on mel you can do it it's alive
all right come on someone get the vicar let's get this wrapped up what do you
think you're doing he needs to go to hospital look i really think he should go to hospital
this man has waited all his life to meet the woman of his dreams get that victory and now
read fast to you melvin churchill harvey who are you that's the vic camel you've had a bump on the
head who are you oh sh mel mel don't panic it'll all come back to you you remember match don't you
what's happening where am i this isn't lillimson's house he's lost his memory from
the back of the head i've seen this happen before oh yes a friend of ours gay derek
once got concussed by the buckle of a leather harness that's right didn't know his own name
for over a month and then in a freak accident during an advanced step class he managed to kick
himself in his own head memory came back just like that mel come and sit down for a minute oh jesus
oh dad jesus christ what do you think you're playing at who's trying to get his memory back
uh just before we sing there's a small announcement i'd like to make
i want to thank all who attended the opening of mel's mobility shop
it was a memorable occasion i'm sure you'll all agree but i'm a great believer in signs
and i think that place burning to the ground was a sign that the mobility business won for me
but i'm pleased to announce my latest business adventure every princess deserves a palace
and that's why i bought major video the benidorm palace yes that's right folks
imagine i the new proprietors the number one entertainment venue on the costa blanca
some would say the whole of europe by the time we finish with it probably the world
it'll take me a few weeks to lick the dancing girls into shape and grab a few tips on
tips on being in show businesses i'm sorry that didn't exactly come out as i mentioned
uh but for now we'd like to sing this song for mick janice michael and tell
guys
please
this is
bringing your
is
waiting for me
is
please
bringing you one
is
you