Fangs, pass the blood sausage.
[squeaking]
Thank you, Fangs.
Shh!
Our breed is dying, Tristan.
We must continue to transform mortals,
our face our greatest fear.
Fewer dungeon parties?
No, dense nephew.
Extinction.
That was deeply, deeply disturbing.
I give it two severed thumbs up.
Sigh. Now we must wait eons for the next season.
Oh, such agony,
which normally I love, but not right now.
Look, a lights on in our favorite creepy house.
Hm, looks like someone moved in.
They never stay long.
The last renters ran screaming after five minutes,
- probably because of the-- - Demon infestation.
Property taxes.
Clearly, they didn't appreciate its charm.
Oh, let's go examine the fresh meat.
I'm a bat... ah!
[gasping]
You'll get there someday, Boris.
Look, over there.
[gasping]
Oh my. He must hate mirrors.
Or he doesn't conform to societal standards of beauty.
Huh?
Huh? Whoa!
That's a lot of extra bloody steaks.
Look, empty bottles of coffin polish.
And this is the good stuff.
For that eternal shine.
You guys, he's moving at night.
He threw out his mirrors.
He ordered bloody steaks.
He has coffin polish.
This guy is a vampire.
Gasp!
Do you know what this means?
He could turn us into the undead.
Gasp!
My lifelong dream.
Just think, one bite from him and we'll never have to wait
for another season of Vampires of Melancholia.
Because we'll be living it.
We can be just like Edwin forever.
Some for you and for you.
A lot for you.
And some fresh O neg for Count Lucilla.
- Garlic bread, Lucy? - Hiss!
Oh, yeah. Forgot the no garlic thing.
Family picture time.
Oops, forgot Lucy doesn't show up.
[laughing]
Let's do this.
Boris wants eternal life and unbridled power.
Me too, Boris, but we can't just go up and ask him.
Lucy's right. That never works on Vampires of Melancholia.
It's way too desperate.
We just have to play it cool and get him to notice us.
Let's come back tomorrow.
That'll give him time to settle in.
And that'll give us time to come up with our vampire names.
I'm going to be Count Vein Sucker.
Uh, not cold, Dante.
You know I called dibs on that in second grade
No signs of life.
Can we go over the plan again?
Boris is a big bundle of nerves.
We're just going to casually run into him.
And once he sees us in full goth mode,
I'm sure he'll give us eternal life in no time.
To be sinfully glorious.
[squeaking]
Where's he going?
It's not night yet.
He'll burn in the sunlight.
He must be a day walker. So rare.
Come on, let's follow him.
[shrieking]
He's headed inside the mall.
Here he is. Time to get his attention.
Huh?
Oh dear.
My neck is so sore and this vein is really throbbing.
Ah ha?
Why is he talking to her?
[whispering]
And what did she just sign?
She didn't even sign it in blood.
Speaking of blood, maybe this will get his attention.
[screaming]
You got to ketchup under my contact lens.
It's burning my ocular nerve.
Do you want eternal life or not?
That's cool, heh.
I always thought I'd make a great vampire/
Gasp. Did you guys hear that?
He's signing those people up to become vampires.
[grunting]
Look, he's going into the arcade.
At least I think so.
My eye is still on fire.