By now, you probably know that Creationist
Kem Ham, and his Answers in Genesis ministry,
are about to open Ark Encounter,
better known as the Noah's Ark theme park.
Essentially, this $100 million park
wants to convince you that the story
of Noah building the ark,
inviting two of every living creature onto it,
and then rebuilding society,
is literally true.
I just have a couple of questions about that.
Where did Noah find enough wood,
in the Middle East,
to build a ship of that size?
When did Noah even learn how to build a ship?
Who taught him?
How did the ancient Egyptians need a whole
army of slaves to build the pyramids,
but Noah just needed his three sons to build the ark?
How did a family of eight care for all those animals?
Why did a loving caring God
have to kill off all but two of every living creature?
And how did He decide which ones made the cut?
I mean, what did those other llamas ever do to Him?
Assuming God killed off all the
other people except Noah's family,
doesn't that mean he murdered
a whole bunch of unborn babies?
And if God can do it,
how can the religious right says women today can't?
Where did Noah's Ark go?
We've never found the remains.
Not on Mount Ararat, not anywhere.
Since the story of Noah's Ark wasn't written down
for thousands of years after it happened,
isn't it safe to assume that the authors
may have gotten some stuff wrong?
I mean, the Gospel writers couldn't
agree on the details of Jesus' life,
and they wrote that stuff mere decades after he died.
Why does the story of Noah's Ark so closely resemble
the Epic of Gilgamesh?
They're practically identical stories,
but they're not talking about the same event.
We shouldn't even think about Noah's Ark as a story about
obeying God and saving the world.
We should just think of it as the world's most famous example of plagiarism.
Where's the evidence of a global flood, that large, only 4000 years ago?
Because we have evidence of dinosaur fossils,
we know dinosaurs had to have been on that ark, too.
How the hell did they fit on there?
How did the meat-eating animals
not eat all the other animals?
What did all those animals eat, if not each other?
And where was all the food stored?
And how did it stay fresh for a year without a refrigerator on board?
Did the animals go to the bathroom at all
during the year long journey?
And if so, where did it all go?
How did Noah's family not get all sorts of diseases
given that there had to have been like huge piles of shit building up on the ark?
How did Noah collect the tens of millions of insect species alone,
especially when a lot of those species
don't live anywhere close to each other geographically?
Who inspected the insects to make sure you had one male and one female?
How did they get the koalas from Australia and the penguins from Antarctica
to come to the Middle East?
And after the flood,
how did those animals get back there?
How did they get all the animals onto the ark that quickly.
With all the species they needed to bring on the ark
in a limited amount of time,
and snails moving as slow as snails do,
how did they all get on board that fast? I mean, what was the pacing here?
How come when people draw pictures of the ark,
they never include the plants.
Because there had to be a ton of plant species aboard the ark in order to survive.
They wouldn't have been able to live in the water alone.
Which animals on the ark had lice?
Because, you know, those are living things, too.
What about gonorrhea?
Which family member brought that along for the ride?
How did ants survive?
I mean, they need a whole group of them
to survive together, because they all have specialized tasks.
It's not like two of them can just hang out on the boat by themselves just
waiting for a year to procreate. It doesn't work like that.
Genetically speaking,
how is it possible that we have all this human diversity that we see today,
if we just started out with Noah's family a few thousand years ago?
Natural selection doesn't work that quickly.
Assuming creatures who live in the water stayed there and didn't get on board the ark,
wouldn't a global flood of that magnitude, lasting for a year,
have damaged their ecosystem in some way?
After the flood ended, how did these animals survive long enough to reproduce?
I mean, there are so many things that had to happen.
They had to survive this year long trip, then they had to reproduce.
Then they had to reproduce again to guarantee the propagation of the species.
I mean, that's not easy for
elephants and other creatures with these long gestational periods. And if anything went wrong,
the whole plan would have been screwed.
The Bible says rainbows didn't exist before the flood.
But that would mean that there was no rain, or no sun.
So, which is it?
Who had time to plant all the plants
after the flood?
Where did all the water go
after the flood?
Other civilizations
lived in the same time period as when creationists believe the flood actually happened.
So, how come all of their recorded history, all of their documentation that we have
doesn't have any mention of this global flood?
It's almost like the whole story
was just made up
Huh.
My name is Hemant Mehta and I write at FriendlyAtheist.com
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