[cheers and applause]
- And...
And really, I got to say,
Jerry, that it's a fabulous, fabulous thing
when a Rick Nelson flies in from a Los Angeles,
when an Olivia calls and says,
you know, "What, Donnie's having a benefit.
I'm there." Forget about it.
It's over, you know, because it's alive
and a respect and a thing.
It's--we're golden with this benefit already.
- There's only one guy who could've set
this whole benefit up, and I'm looking at him,
Don Kirshner, and you know that.
- Don't give me, Jerry.
It was your idea.
- Ha! My idea, my idea.
Ah!
Monster, monster, Olivia, Olivia.
- Oh, thank you.
- How about a little tootski, honey?
- Oh, sure. - Go.
- Oh. - Go again.
- Oh, am I showing?
- A little bit on your nose. Lick it.
Okay, good, you got it.
- Olivia, I have to say that we are so grateful
to have a rock giantess like yourself
participate in our benefit.
- Well, it's a worthy cause, Don.
I'd do it again to help stamp out yeast infections
in our lifetime.
- When I see all this monster talent herded together
under one roof and pause to reflect that, hey, me,
Jerry Eldini, along with this very great,
very small, very small, very great man...
- Oh, you're terrible, Jerry.
- Had a hand in organizing Rock Against Yeast '79,
I'm just proud as pee to be as part of the Polysutra label.
- Jerry, where's Candy?
She's on soon.
I hope she's straight for the concert.
- I hope she'll be good.
She was here. I saw her in here.
- You know, Bob, I was in Jamaica
for the Wailers concert in April.
I really dug it.
- You were in Ja, man, for that thing.
- Yeah. - I'll be doggone, man.
That's some thing, you know?
I remember hearing about your concert too.
They tell me it was real good, you know.
Everybody doing the reggae to it and stuff.
- Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure.
- You ever been to the--
oh, oh, oh, who's that man?
Who's that there?
- Oh, he's part of an Elvis Presley impersonation act.
He plays Elvis in the early '50s, you know.
- He plays Elvis?
- Yeah, he calls himself King One.
- King One?
[all talking at once]
- King Two. - King Two?
- Excuse me, are you Ricky Nelson?
- Yeah. - Hi.
- This is Bob Marley. - Hi, how are you?
- How are you doing, King One?
- I just wanted to say I'm a big fan,
and I know the real King was a buddy of yours,
and I just hope you get a chance to see our show.
- We try to do the King justice.
I have an especially tough time 'cause I'm playing
the latter part of the King's life
after he discovered carbohydrates.
- Right, yeah, well, what do you call yourself?
- Elvi.
- Say, is that Dolly Parton over there?
Or is that a Dolly Parton impersonator?
- Got to be Dolly. - Yeah.
- Dolly?
I want you to meet some friends of mine.
Bob Marley and the Elvi.
- Hello, Dolly. - Hello.
Pleased to meet you both.
I just love your "reggie" music.
It's so cute.
- Oh, that's reggae, Miss Parton.
- Who does your hair?
- Who does-- - Attention please!
Elvi, you're on next.
Elvi One, please, and then Elvi Two stand by.
Okay, King One, King Two?
both: Nice meeting you folks.
We've got some impersonating to do.
- Good luck, fellas.
Fabulous outfits, huh?
Has anybody seen Candy Slice?
Little girl who's platinum around here is lost,
little platinum--
Come on, anybody?
Candy! Candy, baby.
Candy, we've been looking for you.
Everybody's dying to meet you.
- Oh, excuse me.
- Olivia, do you know Candy Slice?
- Oh, Miss Slice, you know,
I've never actually seen you perform,
but I've heard that you're very, very hot.
Do have a good show, really.
- [burps]
- Salami?
Is that salami?
- Knock 'em dead tonight, honey.
At least we're not wearing the same thing.
- Hey, you're getting a zit there.
- Dolly, why don't you go to the ladies' room
and freshen up, okay?
From Polysutra, okay?
Hey, Candy Slice has been dying to say hello.
- Hey, Miss Slice, it's really neat to meet you
and be on the same show with you and everything,
and I just wanted to tell you I'm really a big fan of yours.
I love your latest album, "Making the Pig Sick."
- Come on, Candy, do you know who this is,
for heaven's sake?
- Fabian?
- She's funny.
Quite a little kidder, as it turns out.
Upski, you little firecracker.
Come on, you're on in a few seconds.
Howard, can you give me a hand?
Thank you so much.
It's a real favor.
She really appreciates it.
Thank you.
[cheers and applause]
The Elvi, everybody!
Weren't they fantastic?
[cheers and applause]
Test, one, two, test.
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
the rock-a-thon of Hope for Yeast benefit,
in association with Don Kirshner and myself,
Jerry Eldini--
okay, nobody knows me.
I don't care.
Take pride in presenting the Candy Slice Group.
Come on!
- Hey!
Hey, Mick Jagger,
if you're out there, this is for you.
[upbeat rock music]
[singing] Gimme Mick, gimme Mick.
Baby's hair, bulging eyes, lips so thick.
Are you woman, are you man?
I'm your biggest funked-up fan.
Gimme Mick, gimme Mick.
Baby's hair, bulging eyes, lips so thick.
Are you woman, are you man?
I'm your biggest funked-up fan.
So rock me and roll me till I'm sick.
Some girls want Travolta.
All black and white and slick.
But there's screaming hunky mamas yelling
gimme Mick!
Well, my fine performance,
take my wife and all that shtick.
Makes me die just to meet you.
all: [singing] Gimme Mick, gimme Mick.
Baby's hair, bulging eyes, lips so thick.
Are you woman, are you man?
I'm your biggest funked-up fan.
- So rock me and roll me till I'm sick.
You, Mick Jagger, actually continued to perform
at a concert where someone got knifed and killed
during the '60s.
You, Mick Jagger, are English and go out
with a model and get an incredible amount of publicity.
You, Mick Jagger, don't keep regular hours.
You, Mick Jagger, have the greatest
rock 'n' roll band in the history of rock 'n' roll,
and you don't even play an instrument yourself.
all: Rock 'n' roll, rock 'n' roll.
Gimme, gimme, gimme rock 'n' roll.
- Gimme, gimme rock 'n' roll.
- Gimme, gimme. - Gimme, gimme.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
Gimme Mick, gimme Mick.
Baby's hair, bulging eyes, lips so thick.
Are you woman, are you man?
I'm your biggest funked-up fan.
So rock me and roll me...
Till I'm sick.
Ugh!
[cheers and applause]