There are certain fundamentals in dating
that you should just not compromise on.
I mean certain standards
that I don't care what anybody says
you should never lower them.
And what are they?
Because it will make a huge difference.
The last thing that you want to do
is put somebody on a pedestal
because they're giving you the basics
when really that's what they should be doing anyway.
So let's talk about all of that
in this week's video.
(Music)
Hey everyone, I’m Renee Slansky
form Flirtini the dating app
that allows you to connect with others
to build friendships or romantic connections.
You can check it out below in the link.
All right, let's talk about those standards
that really need to be set
when it comes to dating.
But don't forget to first subscribe
give me a thumbs up and drop
a thanks Renee down below
if this video has really helped you.
Okay, standard number one is this
respecting your time.
If somebody can't even be bothered
to show up on time
to a date or they don't get back to you
or you put some time and effort
into organizing something special
and then they just flake out on you,
then I can tell you right now
by accepting that behavior
you are lowering your standard.
It is something that is just
so easy to be able to do.
That if you allow them to not do it
it essentially means that you are rewarding
negative behavior
and you're communicating that
you don't mind being stood up
or made waiting.
Number two, clear communication
in between dates.
Now, I don't care what anybody says
even if you're a bad communicator
or it's not your forte
it doesn't mean that you still can't talk to somebody
in between dates and make it really clear.
There is way too much ambiguity
that is tolerated
hence why we will find ourselves
in a place of confusion.
Clear communication in between dates means
you know whether or not
you're going to see them next,
you don't have to wonder
have they ghosted me, are they bread crumbing me?
Am I just a side piece?
It is really obvious that
they either want to see you
or they don't want to see you
and they're keeping you up to date along the way.
Three, respecting your decision
to not have sex or to be able to wait on intimacy.
You should not feel obligated
to give somebody a certain part of you
just because they have paid for a meal
or have you know invested so much time into you.
We are in a very heavily influenced sex culture
where you know obviously social media,
casual relationships, casual hookups
is just kind of the thing that people do.
If that isn't your thing
that's okay and you're allowed to
unapologetically communicate that.
By you know really setting the standard of
no, I want to wait until I do that
or I want to wait until I give that part
of myself to you,
means that you're able to say
that this is my boundary
and if they are not able to respect that boundary
and you then accept that,
it puts you in a position where you will either end up
resenting them or resenting yourself
or feeling obligated
because of what you have actually given them.
Four, a big standard
that you shouldn't be compromising on is
feeling like a priority,
feeling valued, and feeling romanced.
Guess what guys?
Dating is about being romanced
and prioritized by someone.
And if you're going on a date
and you don't feel like
they are romancing you,
you don't feel like a priority,
and you definitely don't feel valued,
then don't date that person any more.
You are allowed to want those things
and that is the whole point of dating.
Now of course, there needs to be
some flexibility and compromise along the way.
Not everyone will have
the same idea of romance as you do.
However, at the end of the day,
you should be feeling that when you date this person
you feel like they're not
on their phone or they're not looking around.
You feel like hang on a second,
they're present, they're with me,
and they're making an effort towards me.
Number five,
having an answer after each date.
Now, we can go on a date
and assume that we're going to keep
that person and then we don't
or we're waiting to know what's happening next.
And we're put in this limbo land
or this gray zone and where I'm I in
I'm I out and should we chase
and should we initiate and basically
we're over thinking the whole process.
Having that standard of
am I going to see you again?
Yes or no.
Keeping things black and white
and knowing where you stand with them
after each date
is a standard that you should be setting
right from the first date.
And lastly number six,
knowing where you stand with them
when it comes to exclusivity.
Meaning that if you have decided
to see each other quite regularly
are they still dating other women
or other men at the same time?
Are they still on other dating apps?
You shouldn't be left
in this position
where you're constantly guessing
whether or not you are an item.
It should be clear and if it's not then ask them,
talk about it and be unapologetic
because you have every right to know
where you stand with this person.
You don't want to waste their time
and you don't want them to waste your time either.
So, let's start setting these standards
right from the first date
girls and guys so that
we are putting ourselves in positions
where we're wandering or walking on eggshells
or you know worried that we're going to get rejected
this is your love life,
this is your happiness,
and if we want to be able to have
magnificent love lives,
we have to start setting
expectations and standards
that we should not be compromising on
because they are fundamental.
Well, girls and guys let me know below
what tip did you find the best for this video
and what is your favorite standard to be able to set.
And if you haven't checked out the app
make sure you check out Flirtini down below
and I will see you guys next time, bye for now.
(Music)