Today is a bittersweet day
for us here at The Daily Show
because today is the last day we get to see Hasan Minhaj.
-Um... Yeah. -(awwing)
Apparently, apparently, the Muslim ban is far-reaching--
way more far-reaching than we realized,
uh, so he's got to leave and never come back.
So, ladies and gentlemen, one last time,
please welcome Hasan Minhaj!
(cheering and applause)
Thanks, Trevor.
You know, Trev, I'm really gonna miss this place--
the friends, the laughs,
the security guard who inspects your mouth
with his bare fingers.
We-we don't have a security guard who does that.
Huh. (clicks tongue)
I don't know who that was then.
Well-well, either way, we're gonna miss you, too, man.
Uh, but we're really happy for you.
I know that you'll have your own show starting soon.
Uh, but, like, what's-what's in store for Hasan Minhaj?
Like, what are you doing for the rest of the summer?
-Any big plans? -Well, my plan was
to go see a bunch of movies starring Daily Show people.
We got Crazy Rich Asians with Ronny Chieng...
-(cheering and applause) -The Spy Who Dumped Me
with breakout star Hasan Minhaj, of course...
-(cheering and applause) -Mamma Mia 2! Here We Go Again.
And I know what you're probably thinking.
"Wait, Meryl Streep isn't on The Daily Show."
But the truth is, she's been playing Roy Wood Jr.
this entire time.
That's just how good she is.
Wow. Now I'm not sure she should have used the N-word so often.
That was intense.
But now my summer plans are ruined, Trevor,
and I'll tell you why: MoviePass is burning to the ground.
For frequent moviegoers, the subscription service
called MoviePass seemed like a great deal:
pay just ten dollars a month to see a movie every single day.
But as its popularity surged,
the company's finances took a hit.
A lot of crises, financial and otherwise,
and bleeding a lot of cash.
REPORTER: At one point, losing
roughly $20 million a month.
In a desperate attempt to stay in business,
MoviePass will now only allow users
to see three movies in a month.
Only three movies a month?!
This is horrible!
Thanks to MoviePass, I was paying ten dollars a month
for $500 worth of movie tickets.
I was going every single afternoon.
Wait, like in the middle of the workday?
Yeah. What did you think I was doing when I said h--
I had all those "doctor appointments"?
I thought you were seeing a doctor.
Yeah. Dr. Strange. I've seen it 12 times.
Now, Trevor,
as a child of immigrants,
movies have always been my way to connect to American culture.
And, more importantly, Indians love bargains.
So now what am I gonna do?
Well, what you could do now is you could just buy a ticket
for a movie you want to see, like a normal person.
(chuckles): Okay, okay! Okay, go buy a ticket.
All right, Trevor. What are you gonna tell me next,
get a ride by holding my hand in the air?
What is this, 2004?
I only hold my hand in the air for one reason,
and that's to high-five a friendly ghost.
L-Look, I-I get why you're upset, Hasan.
But-but when you think about it,
how was MoviePass ever going to succeed as a business, right?
It's ten dollars a month for nearly unlimited movies.
-That's crazy. -Dude, what are you talking about?
We're millennials, man.
It's all about subscription culture.
You pay a small fee and, in exchange, you get everything.
Unlimited streaming from Netflix and Spotify,
unlimited shipping from Amazon Prime,
unlimited STDs from Tinder--
it's how we live life.
Y-Yeah, yeah, yeah. But-but the only way
MoviePass would have worked is if everyone subscribed, right?
Then the people who don't use it as much
would have subsidized the people who use it all the time.
This is actually why Obamacare struggled--
because young people didn't want to sign up
and then only older, sick people were using the service.
Oh, I get what you're saying.
We need to combine MoviePass and Obamacare.
No, no, no, no. That's not-- that's not--
I read you loud and clear, Trev. That is an amazing idea!
-I get it! I get it! -(cheering and applause)
Okay, so young people get movies,
old, sick people get health care.
We'll call it MovieCare.
Or ObamaPass. I don't know. We're working on the title.
But just picture it. You're in the movie theater, right?
You're watching, let's just say,
The Spy Who Dumped Me starring Hasan Minhaj.
(cheering and applause)
You're getting your popcorn on, you're getting your soda on.
And now, thanks to MoviePass,
you're also getting a colonoscopy.
You're welcome, Obama!
Hasan Minhaj, everybody!
One last time!