(holiday music)
- What if Santa is played by a woman?
- What, like a woman Santa?
- Hey you guys.
So, I have to go do a couple of things.
Can I just put you in charge of this Christmas show
while I'm gone?
- Definitely.
- [Mariah] Just to make sure everything runs OK.
- Yes, oh we got this.
- [Man] It's gonna run perfect.
- [Becca] Don't you worry about a thing.
- OK, great.
- Just relax.
- [Mariah] Thanks.
- The world is in our hands.
- This our chance.
- We have it.
- I'm gonna (bleep) rock this.
- Guys.
What's going on?
- [Becca] Guys, what the (bleep)?
- Yeah, you know what, let's rewind here
And Becca, why don't you talk to them
because I'm just too upset.
I'm too upset!
- He's upset, you wanna know why?
You guys are supposed to be Mariah Carey's
all-star Christmas Concert team, you're supposed
to make Christmas (bleep) magic!
- Christmas is about magic, you assholes!
- He's crying real tears, assholes!
Yeah!
- I'm sorry, but it's important for us
to get a perfect Christmas.
- [Becca] Yeah.
- And right now, what we have
is a garbage Christmas.
- Garbage Christmas!
- You created garbage Christmas.
- Did you hear him?
He said garbage Christmas!
- Congratulations!
It's now garbage Christmas.
- You did that!
Let's do roll call, OK?
Here we go.
Music director.
- Me.
- Choreographer?
Lighting tech?
Glam squad?
- Here.
- Alright, personal assistant?
- Yeah.
- Personal chef?
Reindeer Wrangler?
Santa Claus?
Santa's beard trimmer?
What is that, a machine?
- Dumb jerks?
- Wow, whew.
- Well, That's interesting, because
from where I'm standing, all of you
should be raising your hands.
But don't worry, alright?
We're gonna deck your halls
so (bleep) hard, that you're going to be so
merried out with balls of holly.
- That doesn't make sense.
- You don't make sense.
You're fired.
Go.
Go on, bye.
Yeah, bye.
You don't know what a fired is?
Boom, bye!
Feels good.
- So, that's Mariah Carey's personal assistant.
She's very fond of her, that might be a little
bit of a problem in the future.
- That was her assistant?
- If she finds out.
- Did she go?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, she went.
- Alright, anybody else?
Got any more smart things to say?
- Any brainiacs here?
Hmm?
- Any poindexter's here?
- Any inventors of the light bulb?
- Yeah, mister, mister,
- I'm getting a text right now,
yes, guess what, it is Mariah.
Mariah said she'll be here in an hour
right, and Christmas is gonna be perfect,
so let's do that!
Let's make it perfect
for Mariah!
- Oh Ho Ho!
Let's get to work!
- Which guy is that?
Who is that?
What do you do?
- I think he's the chef.
- I've made cookies shaped like Grammy Awards.
- Nice.
Mariah will love them.
- No.
No.
No, no, no.
- OK, those colors say death to me.
Give me life, give me Christmas.
- Who are you?
- I'm the Reindeer Wrangler.
- I got a Christmas Moo-Moo for Mariah to wear.
- Moo-Moo?
No-No.
- Did you just come up with that?
- Yeah-Yeah.
- A ginger Santa?
I mean, that creeps me out, dude.
- I don't like you, I don't like you, I don't like you,
I don't like you.
- I'm gonna play ukulele while Mariah sings jingle bells.
- Ukulele?
Ukule-nay-nay.
- I love that you did that.
That was like the Moo-Moo thing.
- Two Reindeer got loose.
They're running up Eighth Avenue.
- Well, you better go get them before a bus does.
Too many reindeer have died under my watch.
I don't like you, I don't like you, I don't like you
and I did like you, but you broke my heart.
We're doing great.
- We're doing a great job, right?
- I mean, everyone wants us to lead
and that's why we're leaders!
- You can feel the respect in the room, right?
- Yeah, where is every body?
- Guys?
- Oh.
- OK.
It's Mariah.
OK, this is good.
Alright, hello, Mariah, it's your
yeah.
How are you?
No, everyone's doing well
here, that's
- We're doing good!
We're doing great!
We love you and we're working hard!
- Yeah, everyone is here.
Christmas is going
to be perfect just as we promised you and
you totally trusted the right people
and I'm so sorry.
Oh, wow, we gotta go
it's breaking up, I'm in a tunnel.
Oh, OK, good bye.
In all honesty, it went less good
than we wanted it to.
- It feels.
It feels like maybe.
We're fired?
- We are fired.
- We're fired.
- Yeah.
Good intuition, because we are.
- You wanna steal some (bleep) and get out of here?
- Yeah.