[THEME MUSIC]
FELICIA DAY: Hi, everybody.
Happy New Year.
It's the New-Year Flog.
I'm Felicia Day and this is my show.
Welcome.
I hope you had a great holiday and you got lots of cool
stuff, not that I want to encourage materialism.
But hey, I got this small bowl.
Or is it a big cup?
It's a big cup.
Oh and yes, high five for surviving the Mayan
apocalypse, or as some people like to call it, the
"alpaca-lypse." Which is not accurate because the alpacas
live in South America where the Incas were.
I vacationed in Belize and I know very much about it
because I've read 15 books.
Because that's what I do on vacation, read about the
places I go to, which is not a vacation anyway.
Yeah.
I need a vacation.
Let's do a Trio Mio.
Number one this week is a website called futureme.org,
where you can go and send emails into the future.
How cool is this thing?
You type up anything you want your future
self to do or remember.
And you can schedule it when you want it to arrive.
I think it's perfect for keeping up on New Year's
resolutions.
I made one a few minutes before New
Year's Eve of this year.
And I scheduled it to arrive now.
Let's see what I wrote.
"Dear Folokia, this is 4 Flogz, u shuld not telz peoplz
pepper war cheez and thers falling.
By the way I left $5 in ur bra." I might of had some
champagne on New Year's Eve.
Number two is two websites to help get your [BLEEP]
together.
Let's all be honest here.
We all have a whole list of resolutions that we're never
going to live up to.
I mean, I've had "learn Chinese" on my list for maybe
10 years now.
And what do I have to show for it?
Dim sum.
I don't know.
That's all I've got.
But these two websites will definitely help you keep on
track, lifehacker.com and dumblittleman.com.
Every time one of their articles pops up in my RSS
feeder, I read it, I feel good about myself, and I generally
move on not doing anything active about it.
But hey, productivity is all in the heart, right?
Yep.
And to counterbalance all these wonderfully productive
Trio Mios is our third choice, Bloons Tower Defense 5.
It's a tower-defense game that features monkeys that you
place along a winding track.
Each monkey acts like a turret, blowing
blow darts at balloons.
And as you go along you level up your monkeys, you get more
and more special abilities as the balloons get tougher and
tougher to pop.
And I have a theory.
Tower Defense helps your brain work better.
If you have any scientific evidence countering that, do
not share it with me.
All right.
Our first segment of the year involves--
well you guessed it-- goat nipples.
So it's sunrise.
I'm in the Mojave Desert.
And I'm going to go learn how to milk a goat.
Oh, it's cold.
-God, I hope I don't get my shoes pooped on.
FELICIA DAY: So tell me a little bit about this farm and
what you do.
JULIAN PEARCE: We started the herd.
We now do goat cheese.
We milk our goats.
We make our cheese.
We make goat yogurt.
FELICIA DAY: So how many kinds of breeds of
goat do you have here?
JULIAN PEARCE: We have La Mancha, Nubian, Alpine,
Oberhaslis, and Saanen.
FELICIA DAY: And how many goats do you have now?
JULIAN PEARCE: In total, just about 340.
FELICIA DAY: And how many do you milk?
JULIAN PEARCE: We are milking about 100
at the moment, roughly.
FELICIA DAY: Every day?
JULIAN PEARCE: Yes, yes.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
What is this?
JULIAN PEARCE: This is our expensive pasteurizer.
This costs about $23,000.
FELICIA DAY: Are you kidding?
JULIAN PEARCE: Yeah.
The milk from the goats comes into here.
And then we pasteurize the milk in here.
It has to be above 145 degrees.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
So we heat it up.
JULIAN PEARCE: We heat it up.
FELICIA DAY: We curd it out.
JULIAN PEARCE: We then form the curd in the buckets.
FELICIA DAY: In the buckets.
OK.
JULIAN PEARCE: Then when it's formed, we put it into the
nets to drain.
FELICIA DAY: OK, there.
Yes.
And then it's this.
JULIAN PEARCE: And then it's just the cheese.
FELICIA DAY: And then I spread this on crackers at an
expensive restaurant, right?
JULIAN PEARCE: That's right.
This is an unsalted curd.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
JULIAN PEARCE: This is basic--
FELICIA DAY: But this is cheese.
JULIAN PEARCE: Basic cheese curd.
FELICIA DAY: Mm.
Oh, it's so good!
We don't need to do anything.
I don't need to milk anything.
I just need to eat your food.
OK.
Well, I think it's time for me to stop eating
and maybe start a-milkin'.
JULIAN PEARCE: OK.
Let's go see--
FELICIA DAY: You ready?
All right, let's go.
JULIAN PEARCE: Yep, let's see where the goats are.
That's Gwenny.
That's Gwen.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, OK.
JULIAN PEARCE: OK, who else is coming?
OK.
FELICIA DAY: That one's ready.
JULIAN PEARCE: [WHISTLING]
FELICIA DAY: There we go.
Am I doing this?
OK.
Guys, I'm going to do something.
Ooh, this is the first nipple I have ever touched on a goat.
Oh boy.
OK.
Is that good enough?
JULIAN PEARCE: Yep, [INAUDIBLE]
they're really clean.
FELICIA DAY: Ooh!
JULIAN PEARCE: Oh, they don't care.
They're used to it.
FELICIA DAY: Sorry, sir.
JULIAN PEARCE: And then the trick is
trying to get some milk.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
I have to get some milk out of one of these.
Oh boy.
JULIAN PEARCE: Don't pull it.
What you do is squeeze it.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
So rolling--
JULIAN PEARCE: Squeeze-- use those two.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, oh, I got some!
JULIAN PEARCE: There you go, there you go.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, did you see that?
Thank you, ma'am.
Wow.
This is an amazing feeling!
Rolling.
Oh!
JULIAN PEARCE: There you go.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, my gosh!
This is amaz--
JULIAN PEARCE: Careful.
FELICIA DAY: Hey.
Look at this, guys.
Three--
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Three fingers, three fingers.
I want to do this every morning.
This is very intimate feeling.
OK, she's wiped.
Put these on her nipples.
JULIAN PEARCE: Yeah.
You put that on the teat first.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
JULIAN PEARCE: That's it, stick it on.
FELICIA DAY: Ooh, ooh, sorry.
JULIAN PEARCE: That's all right.
And then turn the knob on.
There you go.
FELICIA DAY: Oh!
JULIAN PEARCE: You felt it grab.
FELICIA DAY: That is quite the sensation.
Oh, gosh.
It's hanging there.
It's like a bad piecing, right?
JULIAN PEARCE: They have to feel comfortable around us,
and how we're handling them, and what we do for them.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
Well they all feel like they're happy.
I mean, they all just come up and voluntarily--
look at them.
JULIAN PEARCE: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Bye!
JULIAN PEARCE: [INAUDIBLE]
[SQUEAKING]
FELICIA DAY: What is that noise?
What is that noise?
JULIAN PEARCE: That's just the vacuum, the air being squeezed
around the teat.
FELICIA DAY: That was the weirdest noise.
It was like the nipples were laughing at me.
JULIAN PEARCE: Take it off the teat, slowly.
FELICIA DAY: Uh--
JULIAN PEARCE: That's it.
FELICIA DAY: Is it halfway?
Is it right?
JULIAN PEARCE: Halfway.
Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: It's still very--
JULIAN PEARCE: It'll break, it'll break.
FELICIA DAY: Ooh.
Oh.
[SPITS]
FELICIA DAY: I touched your nipple.
I'm sorry.
So I just dip it.
Dip it like ink.
JULIAN PEARCE: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: I'm going to dip a nipple like ink.
JULIAN PEARCE: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: And then I dip it.
JULIAN PEARCE: Put it right up.
FELICIA DAY: Like that?
JULIAN PEARCE: Yeah, there you go.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
And dip this?
JULIAN PEARCE: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Hello.
Good morning.
Well, Julian, thank you.
That was the most fun with nipples I've ever had.
Thank you to you and Carol for allowing me to
visit Soledad Farm.
JULIAN PEARCE: Yeah, I enjoyed it.
We really enjoyed it.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
I have to say that I'm so impressed with how
happy your goats are.
JULIAN PEARCE: Thank you.
FELICIA DAY: So I will never eat goat cheese and not
appreciate it in my mouth again.
That sounded weird.
Anyway, I appreciate what you do very much now.
JULIAN PEARCE: Good, good.
FELICIA DAY: So thank you very much.
JULIAN PEARCE: Thank you.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
I'll see you later.
Bye.
And our question of this week comes from Cassie, who asks,
"What were your New Year's resolutions and have you kept
them up?" Hm.
Dear Cassie, this year I've decided only to have two
resolutions.
One stop watching so many cat videos on YouTube.
Two, stop watching so many hedgehog videos on YouTube.
As for the last part of your question, no, I was doing fine
until I accidentally saw that video of grumpy cat getting
his tummy rubbed.
Why did they have to post that?
I want him now.
Hopelessly, Felicia Day.
Hey, Cassie.
Your letter's on its way.
All right.
Public service announcement.
I'm going to be traveling.
I have some cool, secret projects I'm working on.
So I'm not going to be doing these Flog
wrappers for a few months.
But hold your horses.
You're still going to get an amazing segment every Monday
that you will enjoy.
So I hope you stay tuned.
Also, we have a new show launching next week called
"Learning Town." The trailer is right here.
You can click on it.
It's a musical that features puppets and very funny people.
So I hope you tune in next Wednesday the
15th for the premier.
All right.
I hope you subscribe and enjoy.
I will see you next time.
Bye.