fantasy and how it contributes to sexual arousal dysfunction especially ED I'm Dr Trish Leigh this is
a question that I had from a viewer and I wanted to make sure to get you your answer so the idea
is let's think about what fantasy is if you're fantasizing the essence of fantasy is to take
you away from your reality so the first thing I want to do is distinguish fantasy versus reality
because a secondary component to this question is is it okay to fantasize about your partner this
will be an important aspect so fantasy reality if you're fantasizing about porn influence scenarios
acts situations people performers uh especially the higher level intensity fantasy that you're
going to what I want you to know is it's porn influ uence thoughts that are internalized
fantasy inherently is an unreality so you might be fantasizing about a future experience with your
partner and that's a little different but it's still not in the present moment it is escapism
from your present reality so fantasy plays a very important role for people usually whether
it's sexual or or not to take them away from their present moment and have them be able to
think about something else that's pleasurable as an escape so I want you to realize reality
fantasy reality of the moment why are you going to Fantasy in the first place it's typically for
mood regulation so if you're working and you have a project that you need to get done but
now you start fantasizing about something that's porn influenced or your partner you are taking
yourself out of your current reality it's a type of dissociation and of course if you fantasize
towards sexuality you're going to that fantasy for dopamine when hypersexuality has been in
the mix for some time usually a uh consistent frequent and sometimes intense amount of time
or experience in your life it becomes the go-to for mov regulation so I want you to realize this
too as the kind of the second concept that we're talking about you're probably going to Fantasy
to regulate your mood to get a hit of dopamine at higher levels because you're engaged in something
that has become challenging like work or like a family experience or um like grocery shopping it
can be anything that is presenting a little bit of a challenge in the current present reality
now I want you you to know if you've gone to Fantasy to escape from your reality your
brain is conditioned to do so what that will do is leave less dopamine in your life where
there would have been dopamine through your work through your family and now instead there's more
cortisol there is more stress in that activity literally it's a double-edge sword so when you
are escaping to Fantasy think to yourself why and what you should do or you could do instead is go
to a healthy mood regulation activity now let's go to the second part is it okay to fantasize
about your partner when you fantasize it is still putting you as the Observer or the consumer of
a thought or an idea instead of a participant in that experience and I also would like to challenge
you are you fantasizing about what actually happens in your current reality of your sex
life because most times people are fantasizing about acts that they wish their partner would
do but not necessarily that their partner is engaging in in this time so your fantasy is
still an unreality even though it it uses your partner it also leads to objectification of your
partner thinking about your partner as somebody who should provide you pleasure and you're doing
this with your thoughts you're still consuming thoughts and which you've been conditioned to do
if you've consumed pornography it takes you away from being the experiencer and it's at high levels
of stimulation for more dopamine so to bring this all together when you go to Fantasy for more
dopamine you're taking yourself away from making it so that that experience with your partner is
the highest level stimulation that you have so if the very highest stimulation that you were
giving your brain from sex was having it with your partner it would be an experience that's what we
want you to lead your brain toward every time you fantasize and especially if it's about something
that's higher level stimulation than your actual sex life you're leading yourself away and what
that will do is contribute to your erectile dysfunction and make it difficult for you to
heal so the way through is to not desensitize your brain through masturbation and fantasy definitely
staying away from high level stimulation of porn or sexual media and reconditioning your brain to
go towards the experience of being with a partner for the highest level of stimulation and that is
how you'll heal your sexual arousal dysfunction and your Ed so I hope this answers the question
so if we're going to say is it okay to fantasize about your partner the idea is if you're thinking
about being with your partner soon and it's foreplay and you're actually thinking about
what you're going to be doing then healthy fantasy leads you towards that experience but if you're
supposed to be working and you start thinking about some porn influence scenes where your
partner is at play instead of a porn performer that's taking you away from your current reality
and it's also going to make it more difficult for you to have an erection with your partner
all right I hope this helps you out and until next time control your brain or it'll control
you