No luck, huh?
Those things never pay off.
So why do you play?
I like losing.
CORY: Well, hey, hey, hey.
How'd you like a chance to lose five more times?
Wait, five lottery tickets is only five bucks. That's a $10.
You buy yourself five lottery tickets,
and you buy us a six-pack with the change.
No, if I buy beer for a minor, I can get arrested.
You a cop?
(BOTH LAUGH)
Do we look like cops?
Do I?
You know what, Shawnie?
I always thought that Topanga was the one person
I could never live without.
But she's gone, and you're here, and I'm alive.
So it must be you.
I'd take a bullet for you.
Shawnie, I love you.
Yeah. I love you, too, Cory. And I'm not ashamed.
Now I'm ashamed.
It's okay. It's okay. My brother's also chosen an alternative lifestyle.
Let's keep in touch.
You know what I can't get over?
When I left the house, I was almost half-crocked,
and my dad didn't notice a thing.
That's what happens when you get up there in years.
You know, you start to lose your edge.
Okay, wait, wait. This is a toast.
To the best friend in the whole world on the best night ever.
(POLICE SIREN WAILS)
Oh, no. It's Sipowicz.
Stand very still, and we won't get in trouble.
Why does that number look so familiar?
Sit down.
So, how's it feel to put one over on your parents?
You feel good?
No.
I cannot believe that my kid stole liquor from my cabinet, like...
Well, like somebody else's kid!
Have they been charged with anything?
Are they gonna have a record?
No, the charges were dropped,
because they are juveniles and there was no prior arrest.
Cory, this isn't you.
No, of course it isn't! Somebody influenced him, didn't someone?
Alan.
No, Dad, okay? You're completely wrong.
I did this completely on my own.
Come on.
You're covering up for Shawn, like you always do.
No. I'm not.
In fact, I'm the one who got him to drink.
No. No, no, no. Stop protecting me, Cory.
Yeah, you know how lousy he's been feeling.
Well, he wanted to feel good. And I showed him how.
Shawn, what are you doing?
I am sick and tired of overlooking
the influence you have on my kid.
Alan, that's enough.
Come into the other room. I want to talk to you.
That's probably a good idea.
Listen, Shawn, why are you taking the rap for me?
Because your dad's right, Cory.
All my life you've had my back.
Just let me take the heat this time.
But I'm the one who got us into trouble.
I'm not in any trouble. You are.
People expect this from me. I'm the screw-up.
You're Mr. Teenage America.
Especially in the eyes of your parents.
They've got you on this pedestal.
I'm not going to let you fall off.
Okay.
This is what we think.
First, we feel that you two need some time apart.
Now, this doesn't mean that the friendship is over.
No. No!
Forget it, Dad, okay? Forget it. I'm not doing that.
I'm not giving you the choice.
Cory, you were drinking tonight.
I don't care, Mom! Dad drinks.
I am slightly over 21.
And when I do drink, I drink responsibly.
And when you are ready to do what I do,
then you can get out of this house and get a job!
What if Kimberly's party wasn't within walking distance?
Would you have driven?
I wouldn't drink and drive. I'm not a moron.
You peed on a cop car.
How smart is that?
Look, I appreciate the lecture,
and thanks for coming to the station to pick me up,
but you're not my parents.
And, yeah, I'll just stay away from Cory
if that's what's gonna put everything back to normal.
Normal. You know...