- Everything I say about my mom is 100% true.
The only thing that's not totally accurate
is that she doesn't really have that voice,
she says things that should be said in that voice.
"Please, take your time.
"I lived in California in the 1960s."
She's all for pushing the envelope.
I mean, I moved to New York City when I was 17
with a guy and his band called Dick Sister.
My mom should have had some follow-up questions,
but she was like, on the front lawn in a dashiki.
Like, "Sounds fantastic."
But then you know, if I say anything that she deems
isn't like within her aggressively liberal,
accepting speech, over-encompassing speech,
then she'll be like, "Rachel, you're pushing the limit!"
But again today, she's gonna be on her best behavior.
You might not see those aspects of Karen.
(phone ringing)
Hey mom.
- [Karen] Hey sweetie.
- What do you think of my impression of you?
Is it fair?
- [Karen] I think it's quite accurate.
I frequently recognize myself.
Especially when you're physically acting like me,
I recognize a lot of things that you use,
gestures, tone of voice, all that.
- "I'm a very soulful dancer,
"so people really respond to my dancing, it's true."
Meanwhile, her dancing is actually so awful it's confusing.
- [Karen] I think when you start picking on my dancing,
I take that a little more personally
because I take pride in being able to, you know,
line dance and booty dance and all that stuff.
- What kind of dancing?
- [Karen] Booty dancing, line dancing.
That's it.
- That's fair.
Hands off booty dancing.
She likes it when I impersonate her.
She gets upset if I don't do her.
And if I don't talk about her,
she'll go, "Where was I?"
And that's her way of saying she's disappointed.
She'll go, "I thought I was gonna be in your talent show."
Which is what she calls my stand-up.
Mom, what's your least favorite joke of mine.
- [Karen] There's this one where you talk about
how much turquoise I wear.
- And she love turquoise.
She just loves American Indian pieces.
She loves anything turquoise.
She collects them.
She loves anything American Indian at all, she loves it.
And she wears a ridiculous amount of these obnoxious,
like, plaque-sized things.
(laughter)
And then she acts very surprised
if anyone compliments one of them,
she does a really modest play.
She goes, "Oh thank you!
"Oh, I forgot that I had this on today, that's so,
(laughter)
"Isn't that funny?
"I totally forgot about that.
"How sweet of you to notice.
"Hm, what fun."
Meanwhile, it's like a Navajo graveyard covering
her entire left breast.
(laughter)
- [Karen] Like, sometimes I get uncomfortable
when I hear that.
On the other hand, you know there's this other thing you do
about menopausal, menopausal gowns.
- Everything about her is just too much.
Like, she's always stopping people in public
and trying to have these sort of
jazzy moment with people like,
(laughter)
And they're not having the moments with her,
that's what we want her to understand.
She's always wearing some sort of
a long, menopausal cape.
Is that one out of line, am I out of line?
- [Karen] Yeah, actually I think you were,
at the time it was out of line
'cause I think I was menopausal at the time.
- Oh.
- [Karen] In looking backward, (laughs)
it's actually, I don't feel that way anymore.
- Too close to home.
That was too close to home
'cause you were having active hot flashes
while I was saying menopausal cape.
That's fair, mom.
And would you say it is true that you do wear
a hostile amount of Native American jewelry,
or rather a lot, a fun-loving amount
of Native American jewelry?
- [Karen] Yes, that's true.
That's definitely true.
Although I'm also wearing,
I'm wearing the earrings right now
that you bought for me that are black razor blades.
Do you remember those?
- No.
- [Karen] I think the funny thing about it is
neither of us realized they were razor blades,
but every time I wear them people come right up to me
and say, "I can't believe you're wearing
"razor blades in your ears."
So yeah, we did that together.
Together we didn't know what we were getting,
but I like them a lot.
- I'll keep sending you weapons-related jewelry.
- [Karen] I think that's a great idea.
- I mean it's weird, performing in front of your parents.
You don't want to say filthy things,
even if you know they're not gonna be disappointed.
It's just weird, you know.
Like, I made accidental eye contact with my mom
while I was saying mediocre hand job.
And it was one of the worst moments of my life.
Just, even though she was jazzed and encouraging.
But you don't want your mom to hear about,
you know, mediocre hand jobs.
Mom, do you have any plans for Mother's Day?
- [Karen] I'd really love to be in New York City
on Mother's Day this year.
- Oh yeah, why New York?
It's like Wuhan, China right now.
- [Karen] Because you're there.
- Well thank you, that's very lovely.
What are your actual plans?
Like, what do you think you might do?
What do you think you and Howie might get into?
- [Karen] We usually go out.
There's lot of good places to eat around here,
so we'll, maybe we'll able to go out of our house that day.
We're hoping, that would be nice.
- Yeah, probably, you probably just should stay inside
and if you go for a walk dress like robbers.
- [Karen] (laughs) I'll try that out.
- Okay mom, the documentary Call Your Mother
is gonna be on air on Comedy Central on Mother's Day.
Are you gonna watch it?
- [Karen] You bet!
What time?
- 10, nine central.
- [Karen] Okay.
I'll write it down.
- Awesome, Karen.
Get on your finest menopausal Navajo cape
now that you're through menopause
and pour yourself a tiny Heineken.
You like those mini Heinekens, right?
- [Karen] Seven ouncers.
- Okay, so get yourself a seven-ounce beer and get ready.
So set your DVRs.
Have you ever set your DVR?
- [Karen] No.
- Okay.
Fair enough.
Okay, love you mom, see you soon.
- [Karen] Okay, love you too, sweetie.
(jazzy trumpet music)