Goodnight sugar plum
Goodnight daddy
Can you tell me a bedtime story?
Yeah sure what do you want to hear?
I want to hear about the loot rat!
Come on I--
I want to hear about the loot rat!
**sigh** okay..
Did you know that scattered all over Azerim
Are wooden crates and boxes?
Barrels and chests
Sometimes locked
With big old locks'
And inside all these pots and crates
Are little trinkets, treats
and everything great
Sometimes its a sword
Sometimes its a shield
Sometimes its ingredients for a nice hearty meal
But no matter where its hidden, all over the lands
Adventurers want it all in their grubby little hands
They search high and low
In dusty old vases
Greedy smiles on their Adventuring faces
"Ah ha!" they yell
This is the best!
This loot will help me complete my quest!
But do you ever think they stop to ponder
On these things got from here to yonder?
Who put those shiny rocks in that box?
Who put that scroll in that bowl?
Where did it come from? This beautiful shiny armour
How did it get here? These gems... in the house of a farmer
If only they were to look below
they'd discover the answer is under their nose
It's the loot rat!
Scurrying about in the dead of the night
Moving through the shadows to keep out of sight
No matter if its a mace, a book or a fancy hat
It's always delivered by the one and only loot rat
Aw cute!
Some say he's a prince
Under a curse
Nonsense! It's so, so much worse
He's a mystical being
A treacherous fiend
A monster with a devious scheme
But we know the truth
We know the facts
He simply is what he is
A humble wee rat
Yay I love the loot rat
I know you do
I want him to be your friend
And I'm sure he wants to be your friend too
Okay. Goodnight?
Goodnight daddy
'kay goodnight
She asleep?
Yeah, well, she will be soon
Well
Off to work
Oh Fred do you have to?
What?
Can you please wait until you've left to put that on? The neighbours might see you!
Why are you embarrassed to be seen with me or something?
Yes! You're a f**king rat for hire!
I am very embarrassed!
Hey! What I do is important work okay??
Oh here we go!!
You know what? I actually can't tonight okay?
I have an entire fortress to restock in Schmargonrog!
So I do not have the time, or quite frankly the energy!
Look - why does it have to be you?
Can't you just get a nice respectable job?
You could go back to being a fruit merchant - you liked that
Come on Freda we've been over this before
I just don't want to have to be the one to tell our daughter
that her daddy is a rat!
She loves the loot rat!
That is because you fill her head with that bullsh*t nursery rhyme every night!
I hear you Fred!
Okay..
Are you done??
Yeah
Yeah **sniff** I''m done
What the hell does that mean?
Oh f**k it I'll deal with it in the morning
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