Hey guys! So today I want to talk to you about how MY BODY SUCKS.
Yeah, this thing, this machine that I am inhabiting with my brain
And I'm not talking about physical fitness here because between you and me, you know I'm pure muscle underneath this shirt.
Yeah, that's me on this underwear box! Hey ladies :D
This body has let me down in loads of ways this week,
but before we get into why, let's have a look at the science. When I was created
I got the worst traits from each of my parents, meanwhile my brother got all the good ones.
He's athletic, good at everything, musical... let's not go into that. I'm not jealous... at all.
I have the power to gleek. It actually happened yesterday as I gleeked all over a woman on the train. AWKWARD!
Oh, you don't know what gleeking is. WELL...
SCIENCE TIME! Gleeking is when you release a huge spray of saliva from the underside of your tongue
This is usually when you're yawning or if you really
want some food or if you press your tongue against the roof of your mouth.
My problem is that I have no control of my gleeking and it happens to me all the time, usually in public transport
situations. Another similar incident happened on a train, it's always on a train! This guy was on his
computer like really in depth with some kind of accounting, when I felt a yawn coming,
and that's usually quite dangerous when you're a gleeker.
I didn't think about it, but then I felt the wetness in my tongue and it just went, VLOOOSHH
Blastoise water cannon out of my mouth, and I gleeked all over his computer screen! There was no avoiding this one,
he was just like, "Oh my God!" so I was like, "Sorry! Sorry! I'll try and clean it off!"
So I started rubbing my fingers on his computer screen and just wiping my spit around even more and he just said, "you freak!" :(
Thanks body. I can actually teach you to gleek right now
If you've never done it before. What you'll need is some sour sweets,
I would recommend sour patch kids. Suck one a little bit to create some saliva.
Put it on your tongue for a little while...
Then quickly take your sweet out, put your tongue to the roof of your mouth like this,
then put your lower jaw out slightly and press your tongue backwards against the roof of your mouth. Okay ready?
*gleek*
WOAH! Did you see that one?
[magical music as Phil gleeks in slo-mo]
I think that was the most I've ever gleeked! It was kind of disgusting!
I'm sorry for showing you that! TA DA! You hopefully just gleeked all over your screen, probably all over my face.
Thanks guys. I hope you enjoy your new superpower. I know I'll be using it for the path of good!
I get an eyelash in my eye every day! Without fail!
I had two today! I didn't even know it was possible for an eye to create so many eyelashes,
but whatever the reason, every single day it just decides to release one into my eyeball!
It's always in the most unhelpful of times as well.
And so if I've just got comfy in a plane seat about to watch a movie, BLOO!
one eyelash will go into my eye. About to do an important exam, BLOO BLOO!
two will go in my eye! Doing a heart bypass operation, all the eyelashes would just fall into the gaping wound,
killing the patient! Yeah, so that's why I'm not a doctor.
I am the clumsiest person in the world! I walk into things multiple times a day, and if you ask any of my friends,
they won't let me hold their phones or their pets or their babies. If I was holding a dog, I would drop it onto a
baby! Seriously! This clumsiness reached 100 percent capacity when I was out at a bar with some friends.
So I went to the toilet and both the cubicles were full, which is annoying. So I had to use the urinal next to
another guy, which is really awkward, because you're peeing next to another guy which isn't normal!
You don't really want to look down, but you have to look down to aim, so it's all about
"Just look in this section!" and it really stresses me out. |-/ Anyway,
the wee was fine! Perfect wee, went to wash my hands,
washing my hands, started to walk away when I tripped over both of my legs,
banged into the guy, and
made him wee on his jeans! Oh, it was the worst thing, cause if your weeing, you can't just suddenly stop. He was like, "Wee, wee, WHOA!"
And it went all the way down his leg, and he looked at me in the eyes with this rage! This rage
I've never seen in anyone's eyes before, and I was just like *Phil freezes*
"Sorry, mate!" and I promptly left the bathroom.
I hope he wasn't on a date or something.
Imagine if you were on a date with a potential boyfriend and he came back with wee jeans!
Can't go well! So, now that I got that off my chest, I thought I could replace my body.
Let's have a look at some options!
Okay, that's too disturbing!
Let's, let's, let's stop this. Some other exciting news is mine and Dan's Radio 1 show is now INTERNATIONAL!
So you can now watch it anywhere in the universe which is really exciting!
Our show goes out Sunday night 7:00-9:00 in the uk and all the information is below!
We also made a really cool video explaining everywhere
you can get involved with the show,
so I'll put that in the end screen of this video if you want to check it out. Today's Draw Phil Naked is...
[Calm music]
Goodbye!
[Calm music continues]
So you have arrived at the end of my video! If you haven't subscribed already, please tickle my nose to subscribe!
It will bring you good fortune!
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