>>>
>>> A
>>> A PHOTO OF FOUR WOMEN IS GOING VIRAL.
GOING VIRAL. THESE MOM BLOGGERS POSTED THE
PICTURE WITH THE HOMES
OF CHANGING THE WAY SOCIETY
VIEWS POSTPARTUM BODIES.
THEY PUT THE IMAGE OR THEIR
INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS WITH
THE QUOTE, "REAL WOMEN ARE FAT
AND THIN AND BOTH AND
NEITHER AND OTHERWISE."
MANY COMMENTATORS PRAISED THE
WOMEN FOR BEING OPEN
ABOUT THEIR CHANGING BODIES.
OTHERS WERE LESS THAN KIND.
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
THAT'S TERRIBLE. SO WE DECIDED TO DIVE RIGHT
INTO THAT.
INTO THAT. ONE OF THOSE LOVELY LADIES,
KATIE CRENSHAW IS FROM
RIGHT HERE IN ATLANTA.
SHE JOINS US NOW FOR OUR REAL
TALK WITH THE FOUNDER
OF SO WORTH LOVING, ERYN EDDY,
AND OF COURSE CARA.
HI, GUYS.
HI, GUYS.
HI, GUYS. LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS.
WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?
HERE YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING
SOMETHING POSITIVE, AND
THEN TO SEE SOME OF THOSE
COMMENTS?
COMMENTS?
COMMENTS? >> WELL WOK TO MY WHOLE
BLOGGING LIFE.
BLOGGING LIFE. WE GOT TOGETHER.
WE WANTED TO TAKE A PICTURE
TOGETHER SINCE WE HAD
MET FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND WE
-- YEAH.
-- YEAH.
-- YEAH. WE WERE EXPECTING A FEW TROLLS,
AND WE GOT MORE THAN
A FEW.
A FEW.
A FEW. SOMEONE IS ALWAYS GOING TO MISS
THE MESSAGE.
THE MESSAGE. >> I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE
BEEN THAT BRAVE,
BECAUSE I'D WANT TO SHOW PEOPLE
WHAT IT'S REALLY
LIKE.
LIKE.
LIKE. IT'S OKAY TO TALK ABOUT -- MUCH
EASIER TO TALK
ABOUT, BUT TO SHOW YOURSELVES
IN YOUR UNDERWEAR,
THAT'S SO BRAVE.
>> IT IS.
>> IT IS.
>> IT IS. >> IT'S AMAZING.
>> AND AGAIN, I THINK, A LOT OF
THE RESPONSE, WE
WANT TO MENTION, WAS VERY
POSITIVE AND SUPPORTIVE.
BUT THE MEAN-SPIRITEDNESS, I
MOON, THIS IS WHAT YOU
DO FOR A LIVING.
YOU GET THE COMMENTS.
BUT WERE YOU SURPRISED BY MAYBE
SOME OF THE BLOWS
AND HOW LOW PEOPLE WOULD GO?
>> JOB ABOUT SURPRISED AS MUCH
AS, I JUST FELT SO --
I FELT VERY HURT.
LIKE, EVERYBODY IS BRINGING
THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES
AND THEIR PAST, AND, YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE BRINGING ALL
THAT TO THE TABLE.
SO THEY'RE NOT HAPPY.
>> IN THEIR ON LIFE
>> AND THEY FEEL LIKE THEY NEED
TO -- THIS IS ALL
STUFF GOING ON WITH THEM.
HAVING A DAUGHTER AND THINGS
LIKE THAT, IT JUST
MAKES ME ENERGIZED.
I'M LIKE, "I DON'T WANT HER TO
GROW UP THAT WAY."
SO IT KEEPS ME GOING REALLY.
>> WE THINK ABOUT, ONLY, DOING
WHAT YOU DO AS WELL,
AND HOW DO YOU SEPARATE YOUR
FEELINGS?
FEELINGS?
FEELINGS? BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU'RE PUTTING
IT OUT THERE.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> SO HOW CAN YOU JUST REALLY
KIND OF COMPARTMENT
LIES.
LIES.
LIES. >>
LIES. >> THAT IS A HARD THING FOR ME,
BECAUSE I AM A
PEOPLE PLEASER.
PEOPLE PLEASER. WHEN I HEAR PEOPLE PROJECTING,
IT'S REALLY
IT'S REALLY PROJECTION.
PROJECTION. HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
>> EXACTLY.
>> EXACTLY. >> WHEN I HEAR SOMEBODY
ATTACKING ME OR MY
CHARACTER, I KNOW THERE'S
SOMETHING IN ME THAT I
TRIGGERED ACTUALLY IN THEM
THAT'S GOING ON.
AND I'M SURE YOU SAW A LOT OF
THAT, I WOULD IMAGINE.
>> A GOOD WAY TO LOOK AT IT.
>> WELL, TRUE.
>> THERE'S, LIKE, ONE OF US
FROM THE PHOTO WHO IS
LIKE THE COMMENT WARRIOR.
>> THAT WOULD BE ME.
>> SHE'S HANDLING IT FOR US.
>> RIGHT, RIGHT.
THAT'S ANOTHER THING, TOO.
I'VE HEARD A LOT OF CELEBRITIES
FEEL THAT WAY, YOU
KNOW,, BECAUSE YOU CAN REALLY
GO DOWN THAT PATH, AND
JUST GET SUCKED IN, AND IT'S
OVER THEMING, AND IT'S
-- IT'S JUST SO TOXIC FOR YOUR
SOUL.
SOUL.
SOUL. >>
SOUL. >> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> ESPECIALLY IF YOU REALLY,
LIKE, -- YOU WENT IN
AND DID SOMETHING WITH THE BEST
INTENTIONS.
INTENTIONS. IN FACT, ONE OF OUR FACEBOOK --
WE ACTUALLY POSTED
THIS STORY, AND CHARLOTTE SAID,
"BRAVE WOMEN
"BRAVE WOMEN REMEMBER IT'S WHAT'S ON THE
INSIDE THAT COUNTS."
AND REALLY, THAT'S WHAT IT'S
ALL ABOUT.
ALL ABOUT. YOU GUYS WERE TRUE TO WHO YOU
ARE.
ARE.
ARE. ALSO
ARE. ALSO MOMA SAID, "WHAT DO YOU
THINK A WOMAN'S BODY
WILL BE AFTER HOUSING A BABY
FOR NINE MONTHS?
PEOPLE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT
THEMSELVES AND STOP
JUDGING OTHERS."
JUDGING OTHERS." SO TRUE.
SO TRUE.
SO TRUE. I FEEL LIKE WE'VE TALKED ABOUT
WOMEN EMPOWERING
WOMEN EMPOWERING OTHER WOMEN ON THIS SHOW OFTEN,
AND I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE JUST SEEING WHO WE ARE.
WE ALWAYS FOAL LIKE WE'RE VERY
SUPPORTIVE.
SUPPORTIVE. I'M A WOMAN LOVER.
WHEN YOU SAY THINGS LIKE THIS,
IT REALLY IS CRUST
KIND OF CRUSHING THAT MAYBE WE
HAVEN'T COME AS FAR
AS WE HAVE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> I JUST -- ANY WOMAN THAT'S
ABLE TO SHOW THEIR
BODY AND BE SO TRANSPARENT TO
WHERE THEY'RE AT, IF
YOU'RE HELPING ANOTHER PERSON
FEEL LESS ALONE IN
WHAT THEY ARE EXPERIENCING.
WE LIVE IN A VERY FILTERED
WORLD.
WORLD.
WORLD. SO
WORLD. SO I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK WE HAVE TO LOCK AT IT
FROM THAT.
FROM THAT. I KNOW, FOR ME, LIKE, ANY WOMAN
THAT I ADMIRE THE
WAY THEY LOCK OR COULD MAKE ME
FEEL INTIMIDATED OR
INSECURE ABOUT MYSELF, I CAN
ACTUALLY LEARN FROM
THEM.
THEM.
THEM. LIKE, "TELL ME HOW TO DO YOUR
MAKE UP."
MAKE UP."
MAKE UP." LIKE, TELL ME.
INSTEAD OF, I DON'T KNOW, BASH
OR PICK APART.
>> AND I THINK IT'S ALL
RELATIVE, TOO.
RELATIVE, TOO. YOU KIND OF NEED TO MEET PEOPLE
WHERE THEY ARE.
YOUR PROBLEM MIGHT NOT BE
SOMEBODIEST'S PROBLEM,
SOMEBODIEST'S PROBLEM, THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEIR PROBLEM
LESS VALID.
LESS VALID. >> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> EVERYBODY IS GOING THROUGH
THEIR OWN THING.
EVERYBODY IS LIKE BRINGING
THEIR OWN STUFF TO THE
TABLE IN MATTER WHAT.
I THINK IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO
KEEP THAT EMPATHY WHEN
YOU'RE DEALING WITH OTHER
PEOPLE, BECAUSE YOU NEVER
KNOW WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE IS
GOING THROUGH.
GOING THROUGH. IT DOESN'T EXCUSE ANY OF THAT
HORRIBLE BEHAVIOR.
HORRIBLE BEHAVIOR. >> REALLY AGAIN KIND OF
COMPARTMENTIZING AND FINDING
THAT SPOT TO STAY STRONG, AND
ALSO THINKING ABOUT
INFLUENCING -- I'M ALWAYS ON
THE PHONE, AND I CAN
SEE SOMEONE MIGHT SAY, "WELL,
THAT WAS LAME.
THAT WAS DUMB."
I'M LIKE WHO IS THIS PERSON?
IT STARTS SO YOUNG.
ANOTHER STUDY TALKS ABOUT THE
WAY WE UNDERMINE ONE
ANOTHER, AND THOSE ARE JUST A
LIST OF THE COMMON
THINGS THAT NEED TO STOP.
BELITTLING EACH OTHER'S MAKEUP
AND WARDROBE CHOICES.
SOMETIMES WOMEN DO THIS WHEN
THEY LIKE WHAT THEY SEE
BUT DON'T THINK THEY CAN PULL
IT OFF.
IT OFF.
IT OFF. EVEN IF YOU DON'T SERIOUSLY
LIKE IT, KEEP IT TO
YOURSELF.
YOURSELF.
YOURSELF. INSTEAD OF KNOCKING THIS PERSON
DOWN TO SATISFY YOUR
OWN EGO.
OWN EGO.
OWN EGO. IA, I MEAN, IF YOU REALLY DON'T
LIKE IT, I DON'T
THINK YOU'VE EVER TAKEN THE
TIME TO COMMENT.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. I THINK THAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT
TO NOT DO IN FRONT
OF OUR DAUGHTERS.
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> EVERYONE LITTLE THINGS.
I'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE.
EVEN SOMEONE LIKE WALKING
ACROSS THE STREET -- I
FEEL LIKE WE REALLY NEED TO
WATCH WHAT WE'RE SAYING.
EVERYONE THE TINIEST THINGS.
>> I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU.
AND MINE -- ESPECIALLY MY TEN-
YEAR-OLD.
YEAR-OLD.
YEAR-OLD. SHE'S REALLY GETTING IT, AND,
YOU KNOW, YESTERDAY,
SOMEBODY CAME UP TO ME, AND WE
HAD BEEN RUNNING, AND
I DIDN'T FOAL THAT GREAT.
I WAS LIKE, "HI.
SORRY I'M SWEATY."
THE PERSON WAS SAYING HOW MUCH
SHE ENJOYED THE SHOW.
MY OLDEST SAID, "MOM, WERE YOU
FEELING BALD, BECAUSE
YOU WEREN'T FEELING YOUR BEST?"
I WAS LIKE, "NO.
I DIDN'T WANT TO GET SWEAT ON
HER.
HER.
HER. ."
HER. ." BUT I WAS OKAY.
I'M A PERSON JUST ENJOYING --
BUT IT WAS INTERESTING
SHE ASKED THAT.
WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OF WHAT
THEY'RE HEARING US
SAY.
SAY.
SAY. HATING ON EACH OTHER'S SUCCESS.
SOME WOMEN DON'T FOLLOW THE NEW
ORLEANS AS OUT LINED
BY FROM DECISIONS.
THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK IT'S
SAD YOUR FRIEND DOESN'T
HAVE A BABY OR A HUSBAND, LOCK
AT THE WAYS SHE'S
KILLING IT IN LIFE, AND THE
OTHER WAYS YOU CAN BE
HAPPY FOR HER.
FIRST OF ALL, IT'S NONE OF YOUR
BUSINESS
BUSINESS
BUSINESS >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> SORRY.
>> SORRY.
>> SORRY. AND DEFINITELY DON'T HATE ON
ANYONE ELSE'S SUCCESS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
>> THE HARDEST ONE FOR ME
ACTUALLY, BECAUSE I CAN'T
STAND IT WHEN PEOPLE AREN'T
HAPPY.
HAPPY.
HAPPY. I
HAPPY. I MEAN, WHAT DOES HER OR HIS
SUCCESS HAVE TO DO WITH
YOUR HAPPINESS?
YOUR HAPPINESS? I THINK YOU LEARN THELESSON
QUICKLY IN THIS
INDUSTRY.
INDUSTRY.
INDUSTRY. SOMEONE IS ALWAYS GETTING
PROMOTED.
PROMOTED.
PROMOTED. SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS GOT THAT
STORY.
STORY.
STORY. IT
STORY. IT PROBABLY IS NOT YOU.
I LEARNED EARLY ON, IF IT'S NOT
ME, IT'S MY FAULT.
LIKE, IT'S SOMETHING I DID.
NOW, IF I WAS GIVING 00%, THEN
YOU HAVE A MOMENT
WHERE YOU'RE LIKE WATCH I WISH
I GOT THAT," BUT YOU
MOVE ON, AND YOU'RE HAPPY FOR
THOSE PEOPLE.
THOSE PEOPLE. BECAUSE WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO TO
SIT THERE AND --
STOP DOING THAT.
>>> AND THEN INSULTING EACH
OTHER'S INTELLIGENCE.
OTHER'S INTELLIGENCE. OPINIONATED OUT SPAN WOMEN ARE
LABELED FEMINIST OR
CRAZY.
CRAZY.
CRAZY. I
CRAZY. I CAN'T STAND THAT.
WHILE MORE LOW-KEY FEMALE
PERSONALTIES ARE LABELED
WEAK.
WEAK.
WEAK. EXPERTS SAY WE SHOULD CELEBRATE
ONE ANOTHER'S
ONE ANOTHER'S SUCCESSES INSTEAD OF POINTING
OUT HOW WE'RE FLAWED.
I MEAN, IT SHOULD BE EASIER TO
LIFT PEOPLE UP THAN
TEAR THEM DOWN.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'LL BE HONEST.
I DON'T FEEL LIKE I SURROUND
MALL WITH WOMEN WHO DO
ANY OF THIS.
SO I'M STILL LIKE, "GROW UP."
>> IF THEY'RE NOT CONTRIBUTING
TO BUILDING ME UP,
HOW CAN I ASPIRE TO DO
SOMETHING GOOD?
SOMETHING GOOD? >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN LOOK --
BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE
KEEPS PUTTING THAT ON ME, THAT
NEGATIVITY.
NEGATIVITY. >> THIS SEEMS SO FOREIGN TO ME,
BECAUSE AGAIN, IT'S
LIKE THE CIRCLE OF PEOPLE I
SURROUND MYSELF WITH.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> I KNOW YOU'RE THE SAME WAY.
>> PEOPLE LIKE CARA, WHO ARE
ALWAYS SO -- IF
ANYTHING, IT'S MORE, IN ANY OF
THESE SITUATIONS,
THESE SITUATIONS, WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP TO BE
THERE FOR YOU, TO SERVE
YOUR LIFE OR HELP WITH YOUR
CHILDREN FANNED FAMILY?
>> WE MISTAKE PEOPLE'S KINDNESS
FOR WEAKENS.
FOR WEAKENS. HOW SAD IS THAT?
JUST TRYING TO BE KIND.
>>> MOVING FORWARD, WOULD YOU
DO ANYTHING
DO ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY, OR WILL YOU
CONTINUE ALONG THE PATH YOU
HAVE BEEN ON?
>> I STARTED MY PLATFORM TO BE
A MORE OUT SPOKEN
VERSION OF WHAT WAS GOING ON IN
MEDIA.
MEDIA.
MEDIA. AND THERE WERE TIMES WHEN I
WANTED TO QUIT THE
INTERNET.
INTERNET.
INTERNET. BUT OVERALL, I'M A HUNDRED
PERCENT GLAD I'M DOING
IT, AND KEEP REACHING OUT IN
OTHER AREAS.
OTHER AREAS. THE MESSAGE IS, YOU KNOW, THAT
I'VE SAVED IN MY
LITTLE FOLDER ON MY PHONE ARE
WHAT KEEP ME GOING.
AND THOSE LIVES THAT HAVE BEEN
CHALLENGED.
CHALLENGED. THE WOMEN WHO HAVE NEVER WORN A
BATHING SUIT, AND
THEY'RE 50 YEARS OLD, LIKE
THOSE MESSAGES MEAN SO
MUCH MORE THAN 100 EVIL
MESSAGES.
MESSAGES.
MESSAGES. >> SO TRUE.
>> YOU JUST AGAIN STAY TRUE TO
YOURSELF.
YOURSELF.
YOURSELF. YOU'RE