♪
♪ >>>
♪ >>> TO
♪ >>> TO SAID THAT?
WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE.
WHEN YOU'RE DEALING WITH ISSUES
OF THE HEART, YOU CAN EITHER
WRITE A SAD LOVE SONG OR GET
SOME RESULTS.
SOME RESULTS. AND YOU CAN ASK THE LOVE
DOCTOR.
DOCTOR.
DOCTOR. JOINED ME NOW TO ANSWER MY
ANSWERS -- LOVE QUESTIONS.
YOU CAN HAVE MY OUR ONE AND ONLY
CHESLEY McNEIL.
CHESLEY McNEIL. WE HAVE SOME GOOD WAS.
I JUMPED AHEAD AND LOOKED AT
THE FIRST ONE.
MY BOYFRIEND AND I JUST GOT
ENGAGED.
ENGAGED.
ENGAGED. I CANNOT BE HAPPIER.
MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS DO NOT
SEE MS. THROW.
WE HAVE ONLY BEEN DATING ABOUT
THREE MONTHS AND THEY THINK IT
IS TOO SOON AND THAT WE SHOULD
WAIT.
WAIT.
WAIT. I
WAIT. I KNOW I LOVE HIM AND WANT TO
BE WITH HIM SO I DO NOT SEE
WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.
AM I WRONG TO RUSH INTO THIS?
CHESLEY, YOU HANDLE THIS FIRST
.
.
. >>
. >> WHO
. >> WHO CAN SAY.
I HAVE KNOWN COUPLES THAT MET
FOR ONE DAY THEY BEEN TOGETHER
FOR YEARS.
FOR YEARS. NOW SO NO OTHER COUPLES WHO
NEED THE TIME.
YOU DON'T REALLY EVER KNOW A
PERSON.
PERSON.
PERSON. IT TAKES A LIFETIME.
BUT YOU CAN'T REALLY SAY THAT
IT WON'T WORK BECAUSE YOU'VE
ONLY KNOWN THEM FOR THREE
MONTHS.
MONTHS.
MONTHS. I
MONTHS. I WOULD ALWAYS ADVISE NOT TO
RUSH.
RUSH.
RUSH. BECAUSE, IN THE BEGINNING, WE
ARE DANCING.
ARE DANCING. >> YES WE ARE.
>> WE ARE PUTTING OUR BEST FACE
FORWARD.
FORWARD.
FORWARD. >> YOU WHAT THE PEOPLE SEE YOU
LIKE THIS.
LIKE THIS. BUT AFTER TIME, THAT BREAKS
DOWN.
DOWN.
DOWN. THE
DOWN. THE MORE TIME YOU SPEND WITH
THE PERSON THE MORE YOU GET TO
KNOW THEM.
KNOW THEM. GENERALLY SPEAKING, I THINK SIX
MONTHS TO A YEAR BEFORE YOU
DECIDE TO GO A LITTLE BIT
DEEPER.
DEEPER.
DEEPER. SO GIVE IT A LITTLE BIT OF
TIME.
TIME.
TIME. >>
TIME. >> AND I'M CURIOUS IF YOU AGREE
WITH ME ON THIS.
WE GOT ENGAGED AFTER DATING FOR
A FEW MONTHS.
BUT JIM WAS 40 AND I WAS 36.
SO, I FEEL LIKE MAYBE WHEN YOU
ARE OLDER, THE LIFE EXPERIENCE,
YOU KNOW MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT.
I'D BE CURIOUS TO SEE HOW OLD
THIS COUPLE IS.
AND ALSO, THINK ABOUT HAVING
JUST A LONGER ENGAGEMENT
PERIOD.
PERIOD.
PERIOD. THAT WAY, YOU ARE SORT OF
SATISFYING YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR
CLOSE FRIENDS IT MIGHT BE A BIT
CONCERNED, BUT ALSO, AS CHESLEY
IS CONCERNED , YOU HAVE A
CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW THEM.
YOU CAN DATE THROUGH THE FOUR
SEASONS.
SEASONS.
SEASONS. YOU SHOULD BE TOGETHER WITH
SOMEONE THROUGH THE FOUR
SEASONS.
SEASONS.
SEASONS. GIVE IT SOME TIME.
>> THE FAMILY CONCERN CONCERNS
ME.
ME.
ME. BECAUSE THEY KNOW HER HISTORY.
MAYBE SHE RUSHES INTO THINGS.
MAYBE SHOULD THAT KIND OF
PERSON.
PERSON.
PERSON. MAYBE THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO
HELP.
HELP.
HELP. >>
HELP. >> DON'T TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY.
DOES TAKE IT THAT THEY LOVE YOU
AND WANT TO SEE MAKE YOUR BEST
DECISIONS.
DECISIONS. >> YOU APPROVE?
>>
>>
>> >>
>> >> OH
>> >> OH MY GOSH, MIMI APPROVES
WHAT WAS SAID.
>> ALL RIGHT, NOW THIS ONE,
WELL, THIS EXPRESSION, EYE.
A GIRLFRIEND OF 5 YEARS TOLD ME
THAT SHE WANTS TO HAVE AN OPEN
RELATIONSHIP.
RELATIONSHIP. >> THIS SPEAKS TO THE FIRST
QUESTION.
QUESTION.
QUESTION. >> THAT THOUGHT MAKES ME SICK
TO MY STOMACH.
BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO LOSE
HER.
HER.
HER. DURING GO OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT
ZONE FOR HER AND GIVE IT A TRY,
OR STICK TO MY GUNS AND RISK
LOSING HER?
LOSING HER? >> IN WITH MY GUNS?
>> IF HE WANTS AN OPEN
RELATIONSHIP, HE'S GOING TO
HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP,
WHETHER HE SAYS YES OR NO.
AWAY, IT IS FOR THAT ONCE IT.
>> IT'S THE GUY AND THE GIRL
ONCE THE OPEN RELATIONSHIP.
OKAY.
OKAY.
OKAY. ALL
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. GO WITH THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] STICK WITH THAT.
COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON. IF SHE WANTS AN OPEN
RELATIONSHIP AND HE DOES NOT,
CUT IT LOOSE.
>> EXACTLY.
>> EXACTLY. >> FIRST OF ALL, SHOULD I GO
OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE?
KNOW.
KNOW.
KNOW. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING.
IF SOMEONE IS THINKING AND
QUESTIONS YOUR MORALS OR YOUR
ETHICS OR THE VERY FOUNDATION
OF THE THINGS THAT YOU BELIEVE
IN, IF YOU DON'BELIEVE IN AN
OPEN RELATIONSHIP, WHY WOULD YOU
PUT YOURSELF IN THE SITUATION
THAT IS GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL
UNCOMFORTABLE AND RESENTFUL?
>> IT SOUND LIKE HE IS OPEN TO
A BECAUSE HE LOVES HER.
HE DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE HER.
>> THAT'S CRAZY.
IF HE DOES NOT WANT AN OPEN
RELATIONSHIP, THERE MANY MANY
PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO WANT THE
SAME THINGS THAT YOU DO.
I KNOW YOU'RE THINKING, BUT I
LOVE HER.
LOVE HER.
LOVE HER. BUT NOT IF SHE IS MAKING YOU
ABSOLUTELY DO SOMETHING AGAINST
YOUR GRAIN.
YOUR GRAIN. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
>> THERE'S NO TIME IF YOU LOVE
SOMETHING LET IT GO.
IF IT TURNS BACK, IT WAS YOURS,
IF IT DOESN'T IT NEVER WAS.
TRY THAT.
TRY THAT.
TRY THAT. >> THEY ARE SHAKING THEIR
HEADS.
HEADS.
HEADS. >>
HEADS. >> MAYBE SAYS THAT AN OPEN
RELATIONSHIP IS OKAY?
SHE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU.
>> EXACTLY, MIMI.
WHAT IF IT WAS THE GUY ASKING?
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS
BEFORE.
BEFORE.
BEFORE. >> IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I DON'T THINK IT REALLY MATTERS.
>> OKAY.
>> OKAY.
>> OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S MOVE ON THEN.
>> WHAT IS IT?
>> LET'S MOVE ON.
GOOD ANSWER.
GOOD ANSWER. WE AGREE.
WE AGREE.
WE AGREE. >> WE AGREE ON BOTH.
MY HEART!
MY HEART!
MY HEART! MY HEART!
MY HEART!
MY HEART! AND WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
>> THIS IS SO BORING WHAT WE
BOTH AGREE.
BOTH AGREE. I'M KIDDING.
I'M KIDDING. >> I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE
ABOUT TO GO THAT.
>> I THOUGHT IT WAS A DIFFERENT
QUESTION.
QUESTION.
QUESTION. >> BUT IT WOULDN'T MATTER.
MALE OR FEMALE.
FEMALE MALE.
FEMALE MALE. IF SOMEBODY WANT SOMETHING IF
YOU DON'T WANT THAT, DO NOT
COMPROMISE YOUR VALUES.
>> STICK TO YOUR SCRUPLES.
>> OKAY.
>> OKAY.
>> OKAY. THANK YOU, CHESLEY McNEIL.
>> I HAVE A GUEST IN THE STUDIO.
>> COMING UP, FROM BACKPACKS TO
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