the nature of awareness itself is
totally clear this is one of the things
in one of the sort of first things in
spirituality that essential is to start
to be able to make this distinction
actually between the absolute pristine
clarity of awareness and what arises
within its field
As we have done during this retreat or I've done
during this retreat we can point to the
absolute pristine nature of awareness
not what's in awareness but awareness
itself so everyone's innate awareness
not a special state of awareness but
just the current state of awareness it's
always there
the awareness itself is totally clear
totally without any blemish whatsoever
it's always that way
what arises within it, a thought
feeling and memory or fear a scene you
open your eyes you look around whatever
arises within it may or may not be
confused but the nature of awareness
itself is totally clear this is one of
the things in one of the sort of first
things in spirituality that essential is
to start to be able to help make this
distinction actually between the
absolute pristine clarity of awareness
and what arises within its field when we
start out generally the awareness in a
certain sense at least experientially is
often fused with whatever is in its field
so awareness is fused with just the next
thought that comes up or the next
feeling that comes up or the next
reaction that comes up or it could be
something positive the next moment of
happiness or well-being or joy or
whatever
but when when awareness is fused with
the content that arise within it this
this is sorrow that leads to sorrow this
leads to suffering when it's because
when it's fused we feel that that fused
state as a sort of innate contraction I
think we only really recognize what this
contraction is or how it manifests in
our inner self when the contraction is
no longer there even if it's no longer
there for a short period of time then we
realize oh that's what the contraction
was it because before that we hear
contraction and we're looking for a
specific place like the contraction okay
you know you may or may not feel like
you have a specific contraction in your
body but the contraction is caused by
this fusion of awareness with the
contents of awareness is it's so
generalized it's all throughout your
entire system your whole being it's
physical it's emotional it's
psychological
it's kind of spread out liberally
everywhere
and sometimes when you're
really suffering you really feel a tight
contraction when people really get in
really deep states of sorrow you know
you can
their whole body will take on the
manifestation of this contraction you
know if you're a really deep state of
sorrow you generally you know people will
really start to bear down a little
physically that contraction will become
very overwhelming it will be on the
surface you know but generally it's a
little more diffuse
so there's the teaching that are really
starting to point out the nature of
awareness and not just that the
nature of our own awareness is is
unblemished or pure it's clear it's just
clear often like into the sky just
totally clear
like I said when we look into
what usually when people look towards
their awareness they're not actually
looking to the awareness they're looking
to the content and they got well my wear
yours might be pure but mine is full of
garbage you see
but that is to miss that
we're not really talking about it at
least at this point of of realization or
wisdom we're not really talking about
the content at all like i said this is
one of the very first important things
let's try to break apart this fusion of
awareness with its content right because
when it's fused then I am the next
thought I have I am the next feeling I
have if i have a reaction that's what
thats that's all I know that's that's my
world that's all I am thats that's the
only option I have is to feel the way
the next feeling that comes you know and
so it's a very as I said it earlier it's a
very sort of topsy-turvy place to be
right
the world of manifestation is a
topsy-turvy place to be i mean yesterday
you walk outside it's beautiful and the
sun shining and today you walk outside
and there's rain and a little wind and
it's a little cold and you know it's
very the world of manifestation is it's
always changing isn't constant cut and
that's a good thing that's not a bad
thing
no change no life right life is like a
flame it did it has to be it has to be
moving it has to change otherwise it's
it's there's no life its death but not
only is our innate awareness really
quite clear
but when we really when this fusion of
awareness with its content really breaks
and it's no longer fused then our identity is no longer
found within the content it's no longer
found within how I feel this moment what
I think in this moment what I remember
from the past my whole image whether
it's good bad or indifferent
you know your corkiness as a
personality structure all of that may be
there but none of it defines awareness
and as I hope we've done in this retreat
when we look at all the content of
awareness we will never find self in
the content there will seem to be self
but when we look very closely and very
precisely like I said almost like a
scientist like when you're when you're
looking at this it's almost like putting yourself your conscious
awareness your mind under a microscope
your microscope is your attention the
microscope is your awareness and you're
using that to look very very close and
will always see that no matter what part
of the content of our experience our
awareness that we find that there's always
going to be you will always be prior to
that content and we without knowing it
we confess this all the time with the
language we use we say I we always I
I'm thinking or I feel ...
whatever i feel i think i feel i believe
I you know I am good i am not so good
I'm spiritual I'm not spiritual but all
these definers spiritual not spiritual
good bad worthy unworthy they're all
objects that arise within your awareness
the things you're aware of things that
generally human beings are totally fused
to again awareness gets fused to those
states when we really look at them
really carefully they start to unfuse
because we start to see that while
there is a there is a thought of self
there's really no self in that thought
although there's a feeling that pertains
to something static but there really is
nothing static there is nothing really
there and so our sense of self at any
moment through doing that can it's
almost like it just jumps from one to
the other
it just sort of spontaneously returns to
it it comes out of this state of being
fused and all the sudden sense of self
returns to awareness itself so lots of
teaching lots of my teachings will sort
of point of this dimension of
realization the realization of course is
actually experiencing sensing feeling
knowing your own yourself or your
being as that awareness the awareness that
was there all along we've never hidden
you never had to produce it
you never had to deserve it you never
had to get into some wacky crazy state
of Samadhi or anything it was just a
garden-variety awareness that was always
there this is usually the point that so
surprising to anybody that when the
realization comes you kind of got what
god damn this you know i was looking for
this but I was and I but i was using the
awareness to look for awareness you see
what I mean so I say it's like using ...
you're looking for God using her eyes
you know when really God is her eyes.
so
it's kind of one aspect of realization
is when there's a identity shift from
the content to the context the context is
awareness so we usually start identified
with the content at least the perfect
content of our own psychology could say
when that fusion just lets go then
identity returns all by itself to its
natural state of awareness and it's
timeless because it's not changing you
look back through your life this is the
this is that actually the thing that
gets that provides us with that sense
that intuitive feel that you look back
over your life and saw everything so
much has changed hasn't looked at get a
picture when you're a kid or a teenager
in your twenties and so much has changed
you know you've grown and you've evolved
and but there's some how to some
intuitive sense of me right it somehow
you recognize something something
existing through time even with all the
change
there's just a basic intuitive sense
that that somehow you're there right but
if you really look at it all the content
of your experience has always been
changing from from as far back that you
remember your thoughts your feelings your
hopes your dreams are some things that
are probably somewhat familiar but
basically always changing right down to
the cells in your body you don't have
the exact same cells in your body that
you had when you were a kid died and
gone and been replaced
and so this kind of pure pure
awareness is actually what we are and
as I said that that's the great joke of it
that's the great on one side of the
equation it's not a very it's not a joke
at all you know you feel fused and
confused and and it just seems sort of
obscure and then all of a sudden
oh and it's usually more like oh really
almost like you know because we're
always we've no matter how much we're
told word often you know it's the
spiritual mindset is very much like
looking for a needle in a haystack you know
you're looking for the right experience
the right kind of stillness the right
this the right that you know we're
looking for looking for the right
realization we're constantly on this
this search for just the right something
that's going to indicate right
meanwhile the real reality that we're
really looking for is the looking that is
there the whole time your idea of
yourself is on this little search or
big search and this whole thing is
happening within the pristine quality of
awareness and we keep thinking that I
have to find just the right little thing
just the right understanding just the
right experience you've seen all
this stuff all these conclusions all
these these assumptions are taking
place in the mind they're part of the
content of awareness the whole thing
happens part of the content of awareness
and so the more we get caught in that
the more we look and look and look and
look and look and look we don't seem to
find right because it's as if we're
looking for a needle in the haystack
the joke is is that the reality that
we're really looking for is the haystack
that's the joke of it and you thought i
had to find just the right little piece
of hay the enlightened little piece and
and pluck it out and you know put it in
my pocket and that's going to be you
know my enlightened little piece and that's
the embarrassment all you know you you
just looking through you know this whole
thing and you know meanwhile the
awareness is there from the very
beginning before you even had the
impulse to search while you have the
impulsive search after the impulsive god
it's like it's there all the time so
this is one quality of awareness and
or realization and this is and there are
certain teachings that are driving at
this kind of awareness right this is a
very transcendent ascendant part of
realization part of our being right so
all the kind of teachings of your not
your body you're not your mind you're
not this not this not this are basically
trying to discount the significance of
whatever phenomenal you're experiencing
just think I'm not this not this not
this I'm not the other as way to
break the trance and the trance is broken
even for a moment then there's this
recognition in essence nothing actually
ever needed to change this is why
there's I'll emphasize at times the
necessity of of not trying to change
anything because he all the effort to
change is happening within the content
of your awareness is it's still part of
this game that keeps the fusion that
keeps the trance with the content alive
so when we allow everything to be as it
is or we do absolutely nothing about
the content there's lots of ways that I
point to this right it's all the same
thing actually to do absolutely nothing
about the content is exactly the same as
allowing the content to simply be as it is.