India,
the country that Christopher Columbus' dumb ass
couldn't find.
And we're talking about India, because,
in a year of global protests,
they're in the midst of the biggest one anywhere.
Thousands of farmers blocked highways across India today
in protest of the country's new agricultural laws.
The blockades are only the latest development
in the face-off between agricultural workers
and the government.
NEWSWOMAN: This is one of the busiest highways
leading to Delhi.
It's been blocked for weeks.
Tens of thousands of farmers
from the northern states of India
have marched to the capital city.
NEWSMAN: Their struggle isn't going unnoticed.
R&B megastar Rihanna asked her 100 million Twitter followers,
"Why aren't we talking about this?"
Climate activist Greta Thunberg tweeted a message of solidarity.
NEWSMAN 2: Sparking a furious response
from the Indian government,
it's also drawn the ire of New Delhi police,
who in only the last few hours
have now filed a police case
citing Thunberg's tweet.
NEWSMAN 3: Rihanna and Greta Thunberg effigies
were burnt recently by pro-government crowds
after they tweeted in favor of the farmers.
Damn.
When a country that hot starts burning shit,
you know they aren't messing around.
I mean, they're burning Greta Thunberg in effigy,
which is really gonna piss her off.
I mean, think of all the carbon emissions.
By the way, there was definitely at least one guy in that crowd
who already had a life-size Rihanna pillow.
He was at the protest like... (chuckles)
"No, guys, it's an effigy. Let's burn it.
I definitely didn't marry this pillow."
(chuckles)
So, why exactly are India's farmers protesting?
Well, let's step back and find out
in another installment of If You Don't Know, Now You Know.
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When you think about farming, what do you think about?
You probably think about how it works in the United States:
giant agribusiness companies running giant farms
where they raise cows that are so jacked on steroids
they look like, when you milk them,
protein shakes come out of their teats.
But most Indian farmers work on a much smaller scale,
and it's when the government tried to change that up
that the manure hit the fan.
NEWSWOMAN: This is all happening
because Prime Minister Modi's government
has passed new farming laws that will change
how the agricultural industry has worked for decades.
NEWSMAN: India's agriculture sector makes up nearly 15%
of the country's $2.9 trillion economy
and employs around half of its 1.3 billion people.
NEWSMAN 2: The vast majority of India's farmers
own fewer than three acres.
For decades, they've sold their produce
in their home states,
in government-sanctioned markets called mandis,
a system that guaranteed minimum prices
on several key commodities.
NEWSMAN 3: The measures, they say, will only benefit
big corporations and push them into poverty.
(translated): These laws will have an effect
on anyone who eats.
They will buy from us at very low prices,
and we lose our livelihoods.
Man, that sounds like a really rough situation
for those farmers.
And if this last year has taught us anything,
it's that we cannot take farmers for granted.
Nowhere in the world.
We need farmers.
I mean, we all saw what happened
when we tried to grow our own vegetables
on our kitchen windowsills.
After nine months, what did we grow?
Nothing, other than resentment and hatred for our roommates.
And this law is gonna have widespread repercussions,
because farming employs 600 million people in India.
That's almost twice the entire population
of the United States,
which, apart from everything else,
is just another reminder that the Twitter trends
are pretty bullshit.
I mean, you'd think the entire world
is talking about the Joker in the Snyder cut,
when, in reality, if everyone was on Twitter,
the top trending topics every day would just be "wheat."
So, with their livelihoods at stake,
India's farmers decided to make their opposition known
by blocking the roads into the capital
as a form of civil disobedience.
You know? It's like that Mahatma Gandhi quote
I saw on the Internet:
"Sitting in traffic sucks major ass."
And that's how things stayed for a while,
until a couple weeks ago, when they escalated it big-time.
NEWSMAN: The largely peaceful campaign
briefly turned violent last week
when protestors drove a procession of tractors
into the heart of the capital, New Delhi.
Some farmers confronted police,
who fired back with tear gas.
NEWSMAN 2: Now the government's responding
by using massive concrete barriers
to box in the three main sit-in sites
along New Delhi's highways.
It's also cut off electricity, water, and the Internet.
NEWSWOMAN: Delhi police have deployed 50,000 police
and paramilitary personnel in and around the capital.
There are extra drones flying over protest sites.
They have erected thousands of iron nails on some of the roads
leading up to some of the sites.
NEWSMAN 3: India's prime minister, Narendra Modi,
has broke his silence, describing violence
in the capital, New Delhi, last Tuesday
as an insult to the country.
Modi says he'll not change his mind on the new laws
but has repeated an offer to delay them for 18 months.
Hot damn! That tractor was moving.
It's like someone made a Grand Theft Auto mission
in Animal Crossing.
But, look, clearly, the government has decided
that they've had enough of this protest,
because this is a major crackdown.
And maybe they think postponing the law
will satisfy the farmer. But think about it:
in 18 months, people will be in the same position
that they are in now
and the protests will happen all over again.
I mean, you're basically just giving people 18 months
to get angrier and soup up their tractors even more.
But, you see, this crackdown shows you
how worried the government must be about this protest.
And honestly, they probably should be, because it's clear
that these farmers are digging in for the long haul.
NEWSWOMAN: Farmers say, they are undeterred
by the government's crackdown,
and will continue their protests until
the agriculture laws are repealed.
NEWSWOMAN 2: Tents have lined the highway
where farmers spend cold winter nights.
Water tankers are brought in by tractors
for bathing, cooking and cleaning.
Medical booths have been set up to tend to the sick.
Dozens of people, young and old, are busy cooking
in community kitchens and serving meals.
NEWSWOMAN 2: Youngsters intermittently break the routine
with song and dance atop tractors.
MAN (translated): With me, it is our home.
Whether it takes four years or more,
we're here to stay.
Now, you see, there-- that's some determination right there.
That dude is ready to protest for four years,
which doesn't surprise me,
because nobody on earth is more patient than a farmer.
Farmers are the same people who will wait five months
to grow an eggplant. An eggplant!
I'm not patient enough to find it in the emojis.
Sometimes, I'll just send, like, a cucumber or something.
And you know, if you ask me, it was especially smart
of those farmers to build a mall inside their camp,
because think about it.
Now if the government sends in police officers,
those cops automatically become mall cops
and lose all authority.
Check... mate.
So the next time you see "Indian farmers" trending,
you'll have a little idea of what it all means.
The government is trying
to force the farmers back to their fields,
but the farmers aren't giving up their demands.
And nobody knows how this thing is going to end up.
But I don't know.
If I may quote one of their prominent supporters,
this protest might just,
"work, work, work, work, work, work."
(speaking gibberish) "Burr, burr, burr, burr, burr, burr."
And if you don't know, now you know.