I've had scenarios where women will say,
I did everything for this man
or a woman would say,
I did everything for this man,
I loved him,
I you know, gave him all that he wanted
and so on and so forth,
but it still wasn't enough.
Love didn’t win.
Love didn’t conquer anything
and I say no, you're wrong.
Love was not even there to begin with.
You did not carry out
those actions because you loved him.
You carried out those actions
because you were afraid to be alone,
you were afraid...
(Music)
Hey, what's up everybody, this is Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks
your relationship coach,
relationship expert,
here to provide you with insight and advice
on life, dating, relationships, and so on.
We got a really interesting topic today,
but before we get into that, be sure
to subscribe to the channel
and share this video, all right.
Like the video and tell me below
what you feel about this video.
Share your thoughts, I want your feedback,
I want you guys to talk to me so I can talk to you.
But listen, today what we're talking about is
love is not an action.
Now, I'm sure many of you
have heard that saying that love is an action.
And right now, the idea that I'm saying it is not,
is probably like this is ridiculous,
what is this man even talking about.
But let me explain to you, all right.
Love is not an action
love is...
Well, you know what, let me tell what love is here.
Let me first go into why it's not an action
and what it actually is.
So, here's a thing,
love can be expressed through actions.
It should be expressed through actions,
but actions themself
do not define love, all right.
Now, I spoke about this in a previous video
where I say someone can be in love with you
and do nothing about it.
They're not taking any current action on it.
That does not mean they are not in love with you,
it does not mean they don't truly love you.
There may be other factors
that is hindering their ability
to take action on it.
But let's go deeper than that.
Let's consider the fact that
you have a man, two men
and they both gave a homeless person
a dollar, all right.
One man gave that dollar
because he genuinely cared
for that homeless person,
wanted to encourage him, help him,
you know, and so on and so forth.
The other man gave that dollar
because he wanted to impress the people
who were walking by and looking at him
and get them to think he's a really nice guy.
Both had the same action,
but what determined what was really going on
was their intent
behind the action.
Your...
A person's love is determined by their intent.
Action in itself does not tell you
what's really going on.
And when we have this mentality that it's an action,
this is where things can get
really tricky and confusing.
So, let's put this within a
relationship dating context, all right.
I've had scenarios where
women will say,
I did everything for this man
or a woman would say,
I did everything for this man,
I loved him,
I you know, gave him all that he wanted
and so on and so forth,
but it still wasn't enough.
Love didn't win,
love didn't conquer anything
and I say no, you're wrong.
Love was not even there to begin with.
You did not carry out those actions
because you loved him, you carried out those actions
because you were afraid to be alone.
You were afraid to
face the end of your relationship.
You were afraid to walk away
from the investment that you made.
There's all kinds of
various reasons that may have pushed you,
you may have wanted to be able to claim
you were doing your part.
So, you were fueled by your pride
of looking like you were
loving this man but it wasn't truly love
at the core of it. It wasn't love
that was driving your actions.
Same way, I've seen some people say,
well, this man must love her because he did XYZ.
But no, his current actions
weren't driven by love
they're driven by manipulation.
He's trying to manipulate that woman.
Make her think he loves her,
make her think
that he will give her all that she wants
only to switch up on her later on
because love was never driving his actions.
So, when you think it's, love is an action
and now you're looking to
analyze action to determine love
you can be fooled, you can be misled
because again, you are not tapping into
what it truly is.
Love is your spirit.
Biblically it says, God gave us a spirit of love.
Love is within us, it is... And for some
who may want to view it as energy,
whichever, it is within us and then
we choose to express that love through actions.
And love is then determined
by what was our intent
in that situation.
Were we trying to
pour into that individual
or we were trying to get something
out of that individual?
Were we looking to encourage and uplift them
or we were looking to make ourselves
feel better about the situation?
This is what's going to tell you what's really love.
Now, if you're saying to yourself
well, then how the hell am I supposed to know
when someone truly loves me or not?
Well, let's start here,
do you truly even love them?
See, one of the best ways to figure out
if you're in the right place is
start with where are your true feelings.
There are people and it might be you
when you're in a relationship
trying to determine if this person really loves you,
but if you ask yourself
how you truly feel about them
you would realize you're not even in love with them.
You don't love them like that
and if you don't, then trust what you
think is their love or what they're trying to
present to you as love
is not real.
It may be infatuation,
it may be attachment,
it may be all kinds of other things, obsession.
However, true love
is a two-way connection, all right.
Now, again,
or and that's what's true love
and being in love.
Now...
You can express your love again, through actions,
but if you do not truly love this individual
why would you even bother being there?
Who even cares whether they love you or not
if you don't even love them.
So, start with evaluating yourself
and how you feel,
but again, let's get back
to the main topic at hand,
love is not an action.
And you have to start to embrace that
and you have to start to get more in tune
with your spirit because
the more you are in tune with your spirit,
the more you can pick up
on someone else's spirit
and the intent in their spirit
that is driving their current action.
Is it manipulation?
Is it a selfish action
that they're taking to try to make it
look like it's love?
This will be easier to determine
when you are more in tune
with yourself, with God, with your spirit.
So, this is something I want to share
because I see so many people regurgitating
this whole love is an action thing
and it's simply not true.
It is your spirit, it starts from within
and then you will make the choice
to express it or not.
So, I hope this
gave you a different perspective to consider,
but again I want to hear your thoughts.
Leave your comment below,
be sure to subscribe to the channel,
like the video, but let's talk about this.
Do you think love is an action?
Do you think I'm just spitting nonsense right now?
Let me hear your opinion
so we can have some dialogue
and I hope to see you on the next video.
(Music)