- I WANT TO BE HONEST. I READ MOST OF YOUR BOOK.
I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO READ ALL OF IT,
BUT I SAID--I SAID, "CAN SHE PLEASE READ SOME?"
BECAUSE IT'S REALLY, REALLY FUNNY,
AND IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO BE READ BY THE AUTHOR.
AND SO I WANTED YOU TO READ WHAT YOU WANT TO READ.
- SO I'M GONNA READ A PART--
YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD TO READ A COUPLE PARTS,
BUT I THOUGHT I MIGHT READ A FEW OF THE THANK-YOUS.
- OH, GOOD, OKAY. - I KIND OF--
- 'CAUSE IT'S VERY FUNNY. - IT'S--THANKS, WELL...
OKAY, HERE'S MY THANK-YOUS.
"BOB, BOBBY, ROBERT,
"ROBBY, ROB-BRET.
"BIG ROB, LITTLE ROB, MEDIUM ROB.
LITTLE DOUG, DOUG T, DOUG D, DOUGY FRESH."
- SO WAIT, IS THERE A CHAPTER?
- NO, THESE ARE JUST THE THANK-YOUS.
"PETER SMITH, SMITH PETER, PETER PIPER, PIPER PARABLE.
"PETE JR., PETE SR., PETE THE THIRD.
"JOE TOM, OTHER TOM,
TALL TOM, BLACK TOM, WHITE TOM."
- OKAY, WAIT.
- "TOM FROM THE THING." - WAIT.
- "TOM FROM THE OTHER THING, THE OTHER TOM."
OKAY, WAIT. - WAIT--
- I'M GETTING DISTRACTED. I NEED TO START OVER.
- OH, NO.
[laughter]
OKAY, SERIOUSLY, IF THERE'S--
THERE'S DEFINITELY A BETTER SECTION TO READ, RIGHT?
- THESE ARE JUST PEOPLE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME,
AND THEY'VE HELPED ME WITH THE BOOK,
SO I'D LOVE TO JUST GET THE LIST IF YOU'D LET ME.
- GO AHEAD.
- STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING.
"BOB, BOBBY, ROBERT.
ROBBY, ROB-BRET." - THIS IS SO BORING.
[Christmas music plays]
[cheers and applause]
[singing] - IT'S THE MOST
WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR
- [speaking indistinctly]
- WITH THE KIDS JINGLE-BELLING AND EVERYONE TELLING YOU
"BE OF GOOD CHEER"
- THAT'S DANCER.
DANCER IS OUR MASCOT THIS YEAR,
ONE OF SANTA'S REINDEER.
DANCER IS DOING A NEW DANCE FOR US EVERY SINGLE DAY.
OH.
[audience exclaims and laughs]
WHAT IS YOUR--
WHAT IS YOUR DANCE TODAY?
[Latin rhythm music playing]
[cheers and applause]
[laughing]
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
TODAY IS ALL ABOUT HOME ENTERTAINMENT.
[cheers and applause]
EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST WILL LOVE THIS FIRST ITEM.
NETFLIX GIFT CARDS ALLOW YOU
TO WATCH YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOWS AND MOVIES ANYTIME YOU WANT,
INCLUDING ORIGINAL SERIES LIKE THE UPCOMING "MARCO POLO"
AND "HOUSE OF CARDS."
YOU'RE ALL GONNA GET A FIVE-YEAR NETFLIX GIFT CARD.
[cheers and applause]
YES.
I LOVE THIS.
I LOVE NETFLIX.
OKAY.
[sighs]
IF I'VE SAID IT ONCE, I'VE SAID IT A HUNDRED TIMES.
GAME STOP IS THE NUMBER ONE PLACE TO GO
FOR THE MOST POPULAR VIDEO GAMES,
BUT DID YOU KNOW THEY ALSO HAVE ELECTRONICS
LIKE MINI IPADS, IPHONES, BEATS HEADPHONES,
AND GAMING SYSTEMS?
SEE FOR YOURSELF WITH THIS $250 GAME STOP GIFT CARD.
[cheers and applause]
ALL RIGHT.
ONE OF THE HOTTEST VIDEO GAMES THIS YEAR IS "MARIO KART 8."
FAMILIES CAN RACE TOGETHER WITH MARIO AND HIS FRIENDS
IN NEW WAYS AND EVEN DRIVE UPSIDE DOWN
WITH AN ANTI-GRAVITY FEATURE.
SINCE YOU'RE GONNA NEED SOMETHING TO PLAY IT ON,
YOU'RE GETTING THE NEW WII U.
[cheers and applause]
THAT'S RIGHT.
[cheers and applause]
YUP, YUP.
[sighs]
WELL, I LOVE TV. I LIKE MAKING IT.
I LIKE WATCHING IT. I LIKE BEING ON IT.
AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHANNELS IS HBO.
THIS YEAR, THEY HAD 99 EMMY NOMINATIONS,
MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE.
THEY MAKE SOME OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS,
LIKE "TRUE DETECTIVE," "VEEP," AND "GIRLS."
THIS YEAR, THE ENTIRE "SOPRANOS" SERIES
WAS ISSUED ON BLU-RAY FOR THE FIRST TIME.
YOU'RE IN LUCK, BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL GETTING IT
AS PART OF THIS $500 DVD PACKAGE FROM HBO.
[cheers and applause]
AND FINALLY, WITH THIS LAST GIFT,
YOU'LL ENJOY ENDLESS ENTERTAINMENT.
WITH A PERSONALIZED HOME SCREEN FROM ROKU,
YOU'LL HAVE ACCESS TO MORE THAN 1,500 STREAMING CHANNELS,
AND NOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING
TO WATCH YOUR NETFLIX AND HBO MOVIES ON.
YOU'RE GETTING A 55-INCH TCL ROKU--
[cheers and applause]
[singing] - IT'S THE MOST
WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR
WITH THE KIDS JINGLE-BELLING
AND EVERYONE TELLING YOU
"BE OF GOOD CHEER"
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR