A LOT HAS BEEN GOING ON IN THE NEWS SO LET'S GET RIGHT INTO IT.
IT WAS A SOMBER DAY OF REFLECTION HERE IN AMERICA AS
PEOPLE ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY PAUSED TO REMEMBER THE EVENTS OF
SEPTEMBER THE 11TH.
OF COURSE, SOME OF THE COUNTRY'S GREATEST LEADERS TOOK TO TWITTER
TO PASS ALONG THEIR THOUGHTS.
HILLARY CLINTON TWEETED, "MAY THE LOVE, BRAVERY, AND
SELFLESSNESS SO MANY SHOWED THAT DAY LIGHT OUR PATH FORWARD."
FORMER PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA TWEETED, "THERE'S NOTHING OUR
RESILIENCE AND RESOLVE CAN'T OVERCOME."
AND THEN DONALD TRUMP TWEETED, "17 YEARS SINCE SEPTEMBER 11TH!"
[ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START!
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
TRUMP FINALLY TWEETS SOMETHING THAT'S TRUE --
[ LAUGHTER ] -- BUT STILL SOMEHOW MANAGES TO
SCREW IT UP!
[ APPLAUSE ] "17 YEARS SINCE SEPTEMBER 11TH."
THAT'S LESS OF A STATEMENT FROM A SITTING PRESIDENT AND MORE
LIKE A STATEMENT FROM SIRI.
[ LAUGHTER ] "IT'S BEEN 17 YEARS SINCE 9/11
AND YOU'VE WALKED 2,000 STEPS TODAY."
THEN LATER IN THE DAY, THE PRESIDENT ATTENDED A 9/11
MEMORIAL SERVICE IN PENNSYLVANIA WHERE, UPON ARRIVAL, HE GREETED
THE CROWD ON THE TARMAC IN A SOLEMN, APPROPRIATE WAY.
I'M KIDDING, HE DID THIS: [ LAUGHTER ]
AN EXCITED CLAP AND A DOUBLE FIST PUMP.
BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW, THE MOST APPROPRIATE WAY TO REFLECT ON A
NATIONAL TRAGEDY, IS TO LOOK LIKE YOU JUST WON TWO TICKETS TO
A GUNS AND ROSES CONCERT.
[ LAUGHTER ] IN OTHER NEWS, A 600-YEAR-OLD
RELIGIOUS WOODEN SCULPTURE IN SPAIN RECENTLY UNDERWENT A
CLEANING AND RESTORATION.
AND I'M NOT SO SURE IT WAS AN IMPROVEMENT.
HERE IT WAS BEFORE.
THAT'S MARY, BABY JESUS AND SAINT PETER.
NOW AS I SAID, THIS IS 600 YEARS OLD SO IT PROBABLY DOES NEED A
TINY BIT OF RESTORATION.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT THE ARTIST DID.
[ LAUGHTER ] NOW, IN THE ARTIST'S DEFENSE, WE
DON'T KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY WERE ORIGINALLY WEARING.
I LIKE HOW THIS ARTIST SAW A CENTURIES-OLD WOODEN CARVING OF
JESUS AND WAS LIKE, "BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE DRESSED LIKE THEY'RE
GOING TO AN E.D.M. FESTIVAL?" [ LAUGHTER ]
AND FINALLY, IN SOME ICELANDIC NEWS, OR AS THEY CALL THAT IN
ICELAND, NEWS, IN AN ATTEMPT TO SLOW DOWN SPEEDING DRIVERS ON A
BUSY STREET, A TOWN IN ICELAND HAS PAINTED THE CROSSWALK TO BE
A 3-D OPTICAL ILLUSION.
HERE IT IS.
LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK!
IT LOOKS LIKE GIANT CONCRETE BLOCKS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
ROAD.
SO SPEEDING IS WAY DOWN, BUT 12-CAR PILEUPS ARE WAY UP.
[ LAUGHTER ] THIS IS A CREATIVE IDEA, BUT DO
WE REALLY WANT DRIVERS ZIPPING DOWN THE ROAD, GOING "DON'T
WORRY, HONEY, I'VE SEEN THIS KIND OF THING BEFORE.
THAT SCHOOL BUS IS JUST AN OPTICAL ILLUSION."
[ LAUGHTER ] AND TO MAKE SURE THE NEW
CROSSWALK DESIGN WORKS, THEY'VE JUST ADDED THIS TO REALLY STOP
DRIVERS IN THEIR TRACKS.