- ♫ Where in the world is Superwoman today? ♫
In Adelaide, Australia.
G'day, mate!
Vegemite.
Kangeroo!
Koala!
Mm. Hi.
What up, everyone?
It's your girl, Superwoman!
And I feel like this is a video we can all relate to
because let's be real, who doesn't love sleep?
Sleeping Beauty!
Sleeping Beauty doesn't love sleep.
Hmm.
So without further ado,
grab a drink,
grab a friend,
and get ready to relate.
Number one:
The Stone Cold.
(excited noises)
Jk, jk, jk, bro. The Rock, for life.
For life.
Now, these are the types of sleepers
who will knock out anywhere
and sleep in the most,
what seem to be uncomfortable positions.
Just straight-up on the bus like
(groaning)
on the plane like
(whining)
against the wall like
(deep snoring)
just standing like
(light snoring)
It honestly boggles my mind
like how do you sleep
with your neck like that?
How does your neck not break?
You're just like...
What--how do you not need support?
It's stressing me out,
looking at you, is stressing me out.
You need support.
I feel like I just want to like,
wrap a bra around your head,
just to make me feel better.
Cup size D, okay?
Because you're dumb.
These are the types of people you see sleeping
and they look so unattractive
because it looks like a boxer
literally just knocked the F out of them.
And they have their mouth wide out
with drool coming out like
Just straight-up looking like
(groans)
Like in a constant state of Barney Gumble.
What up, T-shirt reference?
Ha-ha!
And to be honest,
sometimes it's scary.
Like I don't know if I should be tucking you in
or checking your pulse.
Snap out of it!
My ear just popped.
♫ Hallelujah!
♫ Hallelujah...♫
A lot of planes.
Back to the video!
Number two:
The Noisy Napper.
Yo, has this every happened to you?
Like you're in a club
and you feel really, really sleepy
but the music's all like
(beatboxing thumping club music)
so then you can't fall asleep
because it's so loud and you get really annoyed
except then you realize that
you're not in a club,
you're actually in your bedroom
but your roommate just sounds
like dubstep when they sleep?
True.
Sleeping beside people
who make weird noises
in the middle of the night
is just uber interesting.
You be sleeping and they'd be like
(groaning)
Can I be honest?
I'm about to be real real honest right now.
Yah, they're weird and really annoying
but sometimes,
sometimes those noises are hot.
You know what I'm saying? You know?
You know what I'm saying?
But that's not a good thing
because I'm already sitting here
single as F,
you know that I ain't got no type of boyfriend, right?
So I'd be lying here just like
"Argh, forever alone."
And you'd be all like
(groaning)
and I'll be over there like
Oookay, lalala, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies.
(groaning)
Okay, Disney, Disney.
Finding Nemo, Finding Nemo, cute fish, Finding Nemo.
(groaning)
Okay, sea, fish, ocean, ocean.
(groaning)
Okay, whale, sea, seafish, mussels, mussels, Chan--
Channing Tatum, muscles? Chan--
LL Cool J?
(groaning)
LL Cool J's lips, I just--
And then before I know it,
I'm on Nick Bateman's Instagram.
What the F this happen?
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding, no.
We're like friends now
so I can't make those types of jokes.
Jk. I'm a perv.
Back to my point.
Your noises are causing me great discomfort.
Or like, instead of noises,
they move a lot or like twitch.
They just be sleeping like
(popping noises)
Like I don't get it.
You normal during the day
but then at night, you go to bed
and you turn into an F-ing jabberwocky.
Number three:
The SnoreFest.
Okay.
I get it.
People snore.
They can't control it.
They snore.
It's fine.
But there are people who snore
and there's people who sah-nore.
I'm talking they snore
as if snoring was a natural disaster, okay?
I'm talking like before they snore?
Like an hour before?
Cats, dogs and other animals
run away because they can sense what's coming, okay?
I'm talking, they snore so loud
their snore has a name, okay?
Like Snore-a-cane Billy.
'Cause Imma be real with you.
Some people snore so loud,
it's not even about like
me being in the same room as you, not like,
I can't even be in the same area code as you.
Straight-up if you sleeping over here,
in the 416, okay?
Imma have to head on over to the 905 over here.
That's right.
I would venture all the way to Brampton
just to avoid you.
Toronto references,
GTA references.
where you at?
No, but straight-up, you hella disruptive
and I know that this sounds really bad
but Imma be honest.
Some people snore so loud
that it makes me
it makes me dislike them as a person.
And I know
it's not your fault
but I really love my sleep
so if you are disturbing my sleep,
I'm gonna convince myself
you're just a really bad, horrible,
lying, selfish person, okay?
Because sleep.
Like straight-up, I will unfriend you
because like, what?
What does your playlist look like, huh?
♫ And you're gonna hear me snore! ♫
♫ And I'm snore five seconds from wildin' ♫
♫ Gimme gimme snore, gimme snore, gimme gimme snore ♫
Number four:
The Social Sleeper.
You ever have a sleepover with a friend
and you're about to go to sleep
and you're like, "Hey, good night!"
"Okay, good night! See ya tomorrow."
And you turn to go to sleep but you can't
because you notice a slight hovering over there
as if an alien was to abduct you,
and you look over at your friend,
scrolling through Instagram
with your screen brightness set to like
Sun.
Like, "Hi, how am I supposed to sleep
with your phone's bright light?
Your phone is so bright right now,
I'm getting a tan."
First of all--Hold on.
Let's just rewind a second.
Why you even on your phone in the first place?
Because I said good night,
you said good night.
Now I kinda feel like my good night was betrayed.
'Cause like, oh, I said good night
and now you have this whole other secret life
that I couldn't like partake in while I was still awake
so you waited for me to sleep
and now, this is like the real you or something?
And then furthermore, people who don't put their phones
on silent when they're sleeping with someone else
in the room so all throughout the night,
I'm just hearing, bing! Bing! Bing! Bing!
Why do you even think that's remotely acceptable?
And Imma be so real with you,
even vibrate is not acceptable, okay?
Because if your phone is on a table,
and I'm trying to sleep,
all I'm going to hear is
(imitation of phone vibration)
like F-ing R2-D2 is having a seizure
all up in this bedroom.
Like hi, I am trying to rest.
I am trying to consolidate my memories,
have some REM sleep up in here, okay?
But I can't do that when your phone is performing
a Stomp routine over there.
Just like
(hands clapping/slapping)
Calm down.
This ain't Pitch Perfect.
Put that ish on silent.
Number five:
The Biggest Snoozer.
Now, this is the type of sleeper
that is absolutely impossible
to wake up in the morning.
And this type of sleeper is me.
It's me!
It's 100% me!
I straight-up have to set like five different alarms
when I wake up.
10:00
10:01
10:03
10:06
10:11
All of them have different names
that are trying to motivate me to wake up.
So it's like,
"Get up, Lilly."
"You can do it."
"Come on."
"Don't you want to succeed?"
"You're dumb!"
"This is why you'll get nowhere in life!"
None of them work.
I am the type of person
that doesn't need to look at my phone
to put it on snooze.
My arms has a life of its own.
I be sleeping and it's just like
Snooze.
That's it. Straight--For four hours straight,
I will press snooze every 10 minutes.
And I'm sorry to admit that that does not change
even if someone else is sleeping in the room with me.
They will also hear my alarm go off
every 10 minutes
and hear me click snooze.
Do I turn it off? No.
I click snooze because the faith I have in myself
will never disappear.
No matter how many times I disappoint myself.
That's also why I have no friends
and all my pictures are selfies.
Number six:
The Starfish.
You ever share a bed with someone
and it looks like they were doing
horizontal jumping jacks and then
fell asleep half-way. Like...
Like, hi!
You taking up this whole entire bed
as if I don't have to sleep right here.
What? What, you think I don't have limbs?
Look at--look at all these limbs.
Look at all these limbs.
Where are these limbs gonna go?
F-ing Limb Depot?
(laughs)
So dumb.
Damn, I'm funny.
No, but straight-up, last time I checked
my bed was not an Olympic pool
and you are not a synchronized swimmer
so I don't know why you all up in my face, like
You can't see my legs but I'm--
I'm doing stuff with them.
I was doing that with them.
Because we all know there is an invisible line
that divides the bed,
that is created by the two pillows.
It goes down the center.
But some people be crossing that line.
They be rolling over,
putting their leg on my side,
putting their leg over my leg
like, hi, we ain't Jenga, okay?
I once slept beside someone
and they literally, I swear to God, literally,
rolled over me to the other side of me, okay?
As if I was some dough
and they were a rolling pin.
And I was just like, turning to pizza.
Like a cheese pizza.
Yeah.
With like a little bit of creamy garlic dipping sauce,
with like chili flakes on the side.
Deep dish?
Pizza Hut?
Little bit of mushrooms?
Wha--what were we talking about?
Right!
Types of pizza toppings!
Heeheeheehee!
Comment below and let me know
what type of sleeper you are because I want to know!
Also, check out my last video, right there.
It is called "Things that Happened on Tour"
which is an update about all the ridiculous things
that have happened
thus far, on my world tour.
You can also download my new app,
information is right there.
It's completely free for iPhone and Android.
All the links are in the description to download it.
You'll get like backstage access,
additional content,
just so many cool things
and so many ways for me to interact
with all of you guys.
It's completely free so download
that Unicorn Island app now!
Also don't forget tickets for my tour
are on sale right now.
www.lillysinghtour.com
I'm currently in Australia.
Tickets are still available.
Dubai just released.
U.K., Toronto, also just released.
www.lillysinghtour.com
Go grab your tickets
and new dates and cities
and everything are coming very soon, all the time.
(excited noises)
Most importantly, make sure you subscribe
because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.
One love, Superwoman,
that is a wrap!
And...zoop!