'When I say, I want you to very carefully run down the car and watch out for the frogs.'
'On your mark, get set, go.'
Welcome back.
Well, it looks like most of the family has joined us.'
Already in my Dark Corner of this sick World we’ve seen that shrews and rabbits can be horror film monsters.
...ish. But now is time to face the most terrifying animal of them all.
Not for viewers of a nervous disposition.
'It's really not my kind of gig.'
Like Night of the Lepus this film takes its cue from Alfred Hitchcock’s the Birds,
sometimes it takes more than that.
But can anything alleviate the film's most obvious problem?
'Look what I got.'
'Don't be so stupid Jay.'
'They're just frogs.'
'I saw the biggest bull frog this morning, this big!'
Well, let me set your mind at rest; despite what you might think from the title, the frogs don’t kill anyone,
that would be ridiculous.
'We're in for one hell of battle Mr Crockett, you better get ready for it.'
The killing is left to spiders,
snakes,
alligators,
more traditionally killy animals.
'He's dead, he's dead, he's dead'
The Frogs are the brains behind it.
'With all the technology and all my money we can't get rid of these frogs.'
And you thought it was going to be silly.
'Look, all I can say is I'm sorry.'
Yes, like tiny, croaking Napoleons the frogs orchestrate the other animals,
guide the lizards to mix a lethal gas,
and, most intriguingly, cut off the phones,
‘The phone’s dead’
reconnect them.
#phone rings#
‘Hello? Hello?!
'Then cut them off again.
'It can’t be dead it just rang!’
'The frogs are thinking now, the snails are planning strategy, their brains as big as ours, is that that your point?'
Yes, unbelievably, that would seem to be the point.
'Just shut your mouth.'
And it doesn’t stop there, unlike the Birds, this isn’t a random attack.
‘What if nature were trying get back at us?’
They’re out for revenge!
‘Man is the master of the world’
And they get it, trapping pillager of nature Mr. Crockett in his home.
Well, he’s still got options,
he could hit them with something or go into a room and lock the door, or...
Try to stand and pray for an impromptu miracle, yes, of all his possible options that’s probably the dumbest.
And so, on this apocalyptic note, the film fades out, sparing us the sight of… what?
What are they going to do?! The reason the films stops there is that nothing that comes after that point can be anything other than ludicrous or anticlimactic.
I imagine Mr Crocket, having lain there for a few moments, will sit up, brush off the frogs and get on with his life.
'I;m not interested in what you think.'
They’re just frogs!'
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