it's david
the night before the bin men come i go to bed wearing earmuffs
that way i'm spared there irritating early morning clank of trash
what day do the bin men come thursday morning it's instantly believable because we know him
to be grumpy and you know intolerant and and easily disturbed can i have a go with the list why
are muffs and not just little in-ear thingies you know i don't like things in your ears in
there i don't like to be you know penetrated what do your earmuffs look like david they're
gray do they have like a nice plastic strap along the top uh no they're two single separate muffs
a linking plasticity are your muffs fluffy
yeah they have a i would say you know there's yeah yeah i mean yes yes they're flat what do you sleep
in upon the earmuffs uh nothing at all so you're naked no i uh pajamas so sometimes your relatively
new wife wakes up and then on a thursday morning with your matching pajamas in here
the ear muffs don't match the pajamas no i love that but does she secretly quite light
you in the earmuffs i mean like does she say you look very sweet it's not become a problem
in our relationship i would have ended the sentences does she secretly quite like you
because i get phone calls often from her going i don't know how this can carry on
now when do the muffs go on because we get into bed at night don't we but
we have several things to accomplish before we go to sleep yeah be it a quick look at an ipad
or tablet be it browsing a book or be it celebrating a very special aspect of the marriage
that's broadcastable whatever
so would you wait for the muffs to go on until all other business has been attended
all other business has been attended to be it a crossword or something even less broadcastable
has all happened before the muffs go on the only thing i have not done
and i'm very particular about this before i put the earmuffs on is go to sleep
i find it very difficult to put them on while okay but what if what if you've had
a particularly exerting crossword okay the two of you have been going at this crossword for
half an hour 40 minutes relentlessly you finally finish the crossword let's say 14 down has been
particularly tricky and you fall back when oh my god that was fantastic where are me muffs
well i don't know if it's just a thing in our relationship but
crosswords don't take us that long
what are you thinking lee and lee's team um what do we think i think
that it is not true okay you don't have to wake up to pee sometimes that's when
i'd throw him on you know all night i don't know i don't always wake up to pee
so uh you're saying it's what do we think essentially i think it's a well-told lie
it is a lie okay we'll say it's a lie you're saying lie okay david truth or lie it is a lie
you