Translator: Genesis Quijije Reviewer: Leonardo Silva
I'm just going to take this in for a minute.
Good morning, everybody.
In May of 2014, a short documentary was posted about the life of Shannon.
Now Shannon has since then gone on to be a social media
and YouTube phenomenon.
Her life and her story have impacted people across the globe.
In this documentary, Shannon told the two lives
that she felt she had to live while in college.
One, being an active and proud member of her sorority,
and the other, being a lesbian.
Now although Shannon's story is incredibly inspiring,
it's not entirely unique.
There are many people on college campuses
that feel they have to pursue a double life
in order to maintain their social status within their organizations.
And I was one of those people.
Hi, I'm Jacki.
I'm a proud member of the Greek community,
I'm a former sorority president,
and I am a lesbian.
I came to terms with my sexuality
the summer after my sophomore year of college.
It was at this point of my life that I had been established at my unversity,
I was a leader within my sorority,
and it was looking as though I was going to become the next president.
And it was also at this time, because of the fear of the unknown
and the absolute feeling of isolation,
that I decided to keep my sexuality a secret from everyone around me.
Because there are many stereotypes that are applied to the Greek community.
The expectation is that you are going to be white, blonde, priviledged,
rich, straight individuals,
and all you want to do is drink, haze, and have sex.
Now many parts of this stereotype are actively being fought
on an international, national, and local level
but the conversation of everyone being straight
hasn't yet come to the surface.
And it's because of this lack of conversation
that I wanted to give this talk.
I actually got a little bit of validation from one of my best friends.
She just sent me a text because she had explained what my talk was about
to a casual person at her university
and that individual is going through the same thing that I went through.
This is my story of what it's like when you don't check the straight box.
Because honestly, if you google "gay and greek,"
what you primarily get, if you get anything,
is an equal parts amount of local articles about fraternity members
either accepting or rejecting their gay members,
but there really isn't anything for lesbians.
And not surprisingly, if you google "lesbians and sorority,"
what you typically get is porn,
(Laughter)
with one anonymous article
about what it's like being the closeted lesbian of your sorority.
There isn't that much out there.
So I don't check that box.
I'm not straight.
And I'm here to tell you what happens.
A lot of interesting things started happening.
When I finally got the courage to start telling people,
I distinctly remember two of my sorority sisters.
One of them is the most Catholic and the most Republican person
you will ever meet in your life.
And I thought to myself,
"Well if she can love me, surely everyone else can."
And surprisingly, sadly surprisingly,
she completely accepted me without a second thought
and has been my biggest advocate to this day.
Another one of my sorority sisters, when I told her,
I was very anxious for a date that I was about to go on,
and she could tell that there was something off.
She talked me through it and later that night sent me a text
that still brings me to happy tears to this day,
but one line in particular was,
"Jackie, I never loved you because you were straight,
I love you because you're you."
And as I started to come out to more and more people,
I ended up getting introduced to other women who were like me.
I started to feel that I wasn't alone
and some of these women I ended up becoming a mentor for
because they were just now exploring their sexuality
and they were going through that isolation, feeling utterly alone,
but the difference is that I was able to catch them at the very beginning.
I've seen developments,
Greek ally programs being established on different college campuses,
training individuals on how to be an advocate, an ally,
someone to support the people around you.
I've seen date party policies completely change,
to where they're no longer gender-specific,
you can take anyone you want,
and I've seen women take advantage of that and take their girlfriends
or whoever they were dating at the time.
And one thing in particular is, this is what I truly want to say.
Althought it may be baffling,
every single person that I have told in any of my communities,
but specifically the Greek community,
has accepted me without a second thought,
without a question,
because they truly do love me as a person.
They never loved me because I was straight.
It's because of this that I was brave enough
to stand in front of my entire chapter and come out to them
which ended up with resounding applause
and an awkward joke about how: "Don't worry I'll never hit on you!"
(Laughter)
But now that I'm on the other side,
I've become a better leader,
I've become a better sister, I've become a better person,
because when you pursue a double life,
it's not two of you in two different worlds;
it's half of you trying to sustain two identities,
which is emotionally, physically exhausting.
And if you are not entirely yourself,
you can't be the person you truly want to be.
So as I've told some of the women that I've mentored,
I wish I had been honest at the very beginning.
I wish I had told my sorority sisters whenever I finally accepted
this part about myself.
I wish I had given them the chance to prove my fears
and the idea of becoming a social pariah wrong,
as they have today.
Times are changing
and it is time to change with them.
Thank you.
(Applause)