Where in god's name am I now?
Wait a second, that's him!
There he is, that's the guy!
Who said that?
We did.
Oh for god's sake...
That's right, it's us!
The Asshole Justice League!
We're the Asshole Justice League! (unfunny bleeping)
Lantern is right. We deserve revenge for what you did to our buddy Aquaman.
Aquaman actually has people who sort of care about him. Huh. I'll be damned.
So what makes you guys the Asshole Justice League? And not just, you know, the regular Justice League?
Well, we're the Justice League but really really mean.
Enough of the questions!
We're here to redeem Aquaman.
Yeah well uh you have the wrong guy. I didn't kill him.
(more unfunny bleeping)
Yeah, so who did?
Kite Man murdered him with a kite.
What is this Kite Man?
You should know him. He was in your comic book like... 50 years ago.
He's obviously lying! Kite Man's too useless a character to be able to kill a member of the Asshole Justice League!
*unfunny singing*
Do you have anything you want to say about Aquaman before we take you away and brutally murder you?
You guys really live up to the name, don't you?
Well, I guess I do have a couple of things to say about the aquatic **** before you kill me for no reason.
Now I'm going to present you with a couple of words or short phrases on the screen for a few seconds.
So just take a mental note as to what images, characters, or ideas come to mind.
A little word association game as it were.
Fish.
Useless.
The Dr. Dolittle of the Ocean.
The Worst Thing in the History of Anything Ever.
Give yourself a little pat on the back if you automatically thought of Eddie Murphy swimming around in the ocean talking to fish.
Or I guess if you cheated and looked at the name of the video you would have...
A preconceived idea that Aquaman would be the subject of this episode.
Plus your mind would have automatically imagined the aquatic ace as the... title suggests.
Well the trick's on you, you- you gullible sheep.
This was all an elaborate ruse designed to fool you.
This is actually going to be an episode about Eddie Murphy swimming around the ocean talking to fish.
That'll teach you to just believe anything that's written down.
Or not, I'm just kidding. Lesson learned kids.
Aquaman, the go-to superhero people reference when they want to make a cheap quick and easy joke about dumb superheroes.
Oh wait. Aquaman's debut was in the super serious contemplative and thoughtful comic book series More Fun Comics!
Way back in 1941.
It was a more simple time.
Where people could look past a superhero who looked completely stupid.
Comic fans alike could rejoice in the quality stories and tales surrounding the king of the seven seas.
Or not. He was probably hated just as much back then too. So let's just get this out the way.
Aquaman is laughable.
He is just... ****ing ridiculous.
"He wants us to follow him, Storm!"
When your go-to phrases for describing a superhero are:
"That Guy Who Talks to the Fish"
"The Worst Member of the Justice League"
"He's The One Who Looks Like a Living Ice Lolly"
Something has gone horribly wrong.
Take a superhero like Batman or Superman. All you need are two or three words, and you'll instantly know exactly who you're describing.
Vigilante.
Bat.
Obviously Batman.
Overpowered.
Hero.
Well duh, Superman.
It's kind of a shame, too.
Aquaman is now trapped in this position of being perceived as pretty much the worst a superhero can be.
So no one apart from all three of the Aquaman fans can take him seriously.
No matter how good or bad the stories or original material actually is.
There's a reason why no one has tried to tackle Aquaman properly in a super high budget movie or TV show.
It would be asking too much of the audience.
Because Aquaman is f*cking retarded.
I laugh when I think about how serious the DC characters have been portrayed in the last few years, The Dark Knight, Man of Steel,
that really gritty and realistic Green Lantern movie. Only to then have this idea that a completely goofy and farcical character is going to join up
with them to save the world. To give the bastard some credit though,
I'm personally quite picky when it comes to superheroes I can really get into. There is only a fine line of goofiness
I can be bothered to part with. Characters like Wonder Woman or Hawkgirl are equally absurd in my eyes.
So I just have no interest in them.
So all in all, I guess there are only two words I can use to describe my feelings towards the marine marvel.
F*ck Aquaman
Well that's all I have to say about him.
I guess it's time for you to kill me or... whatever. I stopped caring about three minutes ago.
Wait! Stop right there!
Oh my god!
(unfunny bleeping again)
No, it can't be you! You're alive?
Yep. That's me!
*Spongebob laugh*
Oh my Lord, the excitement, the drama, the intrigue!
How is Aquaman alive, so many questions, where are the answers? Well I guess you have to give me at least a week to... think of something.
So anyway, those are my thoughts on Aquaman in the most roundabout and weird way of resenting it, possibly ever.
Do you agree, disagree?
Are you one of those three fans of Aquaman?
Please tell me in the comments below.
So as always, thanks for watching, all comments and ratings are appreciated.
I hope you enjoyed.
I'll see you next time, can I shove in any more things into this ending thing? Bye!
Aquaman, the go-to superhero people reference when they want to make a quee-- quee-- QUEEEEE
CheAap and eeAAsy JoKe about-- ah, fuuuu.