- Hey, Boss.
Yeah, if it's all right with you,
I don't think I'm gonna come in today.
I could really use a personal self care day.
- Okay.
Take care of yourself.
- Thank you so much.
I will.
(upbeat music)
(laughs)
(upbeat music)
Oh.
(upbeat music)
(retches)
Mark, it's Cece.
Yeah, that's right.
The girl who got away.
You missed out when you broke up with me, okay?
I'm like hot.
I'm hot, and you're ugly.
You're like a hairy Donald Duck.
Stupid penis.
Stupid penis!
(retches)
(beeps)
(groans)
Hey, Boss.
Yeah, I can't come in today
because I took a self care day,
and now I'm sick and sad.
Every self care day ever.
(upbeat music)
- Momma needs a massage.
Get on my back.
Come on.
You can get on Mama's back.
(barks)
Ow.
Ow!
I really need this.
Okay.
Ow.
This is relaxing.
Not.
You understand sarcasm?
(upbeat music)
(cuts)
(sighs)
(upbeat music)
(coughs)
(spits)
(shower runs)
- [Jess] I just need a day, okay?
Taking a self care day.
If you need to reach me, don't.
(upbeat music)
(clicks)
Oh my god that's so cute.
Hashtag self care day.
Ooh Amy.
Hey, girl.
- Hey, Jess.
What're you doing?
- Taking a self care day.
- Oh awesome.
How are you taking care of yourself today?
- I'm telling you that I'm taking a self care day.
- Wow.
You're an idiot, Jess.
Hashtag blessed.
- A nice relaxing bath is just what I need.
Oh.
Ew.
Oh I can't take a bath
if the tub is dirty.
(upbeat music)
Okay,
all clean.
Oh my goodness, okay.
(water running)
Ooh fresh towels would be nice.
(upbeat music)
Oh my god finally.
Wait, a bath bomb would be perfect.
(upbeat music)
And a dash of that.
Pack it tight.
Until, oh I made meth.
Oh.
What can I say?
I'm living my best life.
- I needed a self care day.
(relaxing music)
- [Child] Mom I'm hungry I need lunch.
- In a a minute!
Okay, self care half hour.
(relaxing music)
- [Child] I need to go to the bathroom!
- I'll be there in a second!
Okay self care minute.
(relaxing music)
- [Child] Nevermind, I went.
- Okay.
- [Child] It's every where!
- I guess no self care today,
time to clean up poop.
I'll be right there.
Can't wait.
Ooh can't talk it's a me day.
- Hey guys CrissyBeauty here.
Self care is the most important thing
you can be doing, especially in times like these.
The best way to take care of yourself
is to meditate, slow it down,
and clear your mind.
Stress doesn't help any situation.
Cool now I have to edit this,
think of a good caption,
then get defensive over the shitty comments
for three hours which will inevitably
just destroy my self esteem.
- I don't need Jesus, I need a bath.
This is so nice.
The sun's out, like this is amazing.
Like why do we--
why do we live to work and not
just be happy and have nice things in our lives?
I mean we slave away
40 hours a week at a desk?
And for what?
I mean to be miserable?
Oh my god.
Capitalism is so evil!
Ooh a capitalism is evil shirt.
Oh my god I'd look so good in that.
Oh my god there's a matching hat?
I would fucking rock that.
Yas bitch buy.
Sorry I can't hang, my crystals are charging.
- Hey babe, I'm going to go on a self care drive.
- Okay have fun babe.
- Bye!
(upbeat music)
(phone ringing)
- Hey babe I drove to Montana and
I'm starting a new self care life
and I'm never coming back.
- Okay have fun babe.
- That's not a face mask, that's my face.
Hmm, for sensitive skin.
Perfect, nobody has skin more sensitive than mine.
(upbeat music)
Hmm I feel it working already.
Ooh it tingles.
Ooh, oh.
Ooh it really tingles oh gosh.
Oh man.
Ah, ah.
Oh okay oh no it burns.
Holy,
holy shit!
It burns!
(gasps)
ouch ouch ouch ouch.
Oh my god oh my god
ow ow ow ow ow.
Ouch ouch ouch.
- I saved my marriage with Himalayan salt.
(relaxing music)
(breathing deeply)
(snoring)
(soft music)
- Oh wow yoga rules.
Oh, oh my back.
Okay oh wow.
My back is stuck like this.
My back is stuck!
- Sorry I'm gonna need a me month
not just a me day.
- [Man On TV 1] I want to know who killed my son.
- [Man On TV 2] Even if you knew,
nothing would change.
The system is broken anyway.
- [Man On TV 1] You know who did it!
Tell me!
- [Man On TV 2] Fine I'll tell you.
It was--
(gasping)
- [Man On TV 1] No don't die!
You're the dummy who did it!
Live dammit, live!
(clears throat)
- Will you shut the fuck up
I'm trying to relax.
Jesus.
- All I need is a shih tzu and a shiatsu.
Hey guys CrissyBeauty here.
So for breakfast today, I decided to make
a poached egg on avocado toast
with arugula and some lime vinaigrette.
Hey guys so for lunch I decided to make
a poached egg on avocado toast
with arugula and lime vinaigrette.
Hey guys so for dinner I decided to make
a poached egg on avocado toast--
Listen it's the only thing I know
how to make okay?
Comment down below, your favorite meal.
- I look good in hats.
Especially like those trucker hats
oh my god Ashton Kutcher could never.
But I could, bought it!
In a small.
We'll get there.
(retching)
- I forget what vodka taste like.
I just ate--
(laughing)
Donut and pizza confirmed, not a good thing.
- Welcome to my meth lab.
Kimmy's meth.
I'll be selling it on the dark web after this.
- How long have I been here?
Feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway.
I feel alive.
I feel reborn.
Like an eagle.
- Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she wonderful?
I can't wait to eat this
when I'm done filming this.
I've never had an egg on avocado toast before.
This is bomb.
I also don't know how to poach an egg.
Like what does that even mean.
Doesn't mean like hunting?
I don't need to hunt for this egg
it's already dead.
Or it's like here.
- Oh my god thank you so much
for watching that self care video.
Like after self care that's like the best thing
you could have done for yourself today.
If you want more self care,
and like other fun stuff, just click over here.
And if you want some merchandise,
like for hashtag self care,
just go to the Smosh store
and get some merch down there.
And also since you're just like clicking today
make sure you click and subscribe!
(laughing)
Bye!
Hello?