- I've watched someone dump red Tabasco on pancakes before.
- I feel like that might be nice.
- The worst is when a customer just interrupts you.
Like, "Hi my name is--"
"Diet Coke!"
And it's like, "Okay," and then you just don't say anything.
You just walk away and get the Diet Coke.
- And then they'll be like, "Coffee!"
And you go, "Do you want cream and sugar?"
And they're like, "Ugh, yeah."
- "Yeah!"
- "Oh my God, I'm so sorry that I asked.
"I don't want to waste the cream if you don't drink it."
- There are certain customers who think that
you're their only table and so...
- Or the snapper.
The snapper.
(snaps fingers)
- If you click at me, wherever you were
on my priority list, you just went to the bottom.
- Yeah, you've now just dropped to literally last place.
It's so rude.
Don't snap at somebody.
I'm not your servant.
- It just ruins the whole experience.
- "Yeah, I'll get your Diet Coke."
- Or they wave you down like a dog.
- Over here.
- Sometimes when people wave at me
and I'm at another table, I just wave back
and then go back to what I am doing.
- Or they don't remember your name,
so they say like, "Hey you."
- Yeah, that's very disrespectful.
- Yeah.
- I've had people straight up yell at me from
across the restaurant and I'm just like,
"I didn't hear you, I'm gonna go do something else."
- When somebody orders something,
"How do you want it cooked?"
You know.
"Well done, rare, da da da da da."
So they'll ask for it well done.
It comes out well done, it's too well done.
"You asked for it that way."
So I'll remake it a little less well done this time.
"It's not cooked enough."
You (bleep) kidding me?
- You come into a place, you have allergies
to certain things, and it's like, "Why come here?"
People who've had gluten allergies,
flour allergies, bread allergies,
and you come into a pizza restaurant, you know?
You can't have flour, you can't have gluten,
can't have cheese.
I mean, suppose to give you ice cubes?
- It's like watching the insane ways
that people eat their food.
- But they also love eating
and showing you what's in their mouth.
- Oh God. - They'll start eating
and they'll pull you over like, "More coffee."
And you're like, "Oh my God, I didn't want to see that."
- You know everyone also complains about how, like,
"The server always comes up when my mouth is full!"
We're doing it on purpose.
I want to say like, eight times out of ten,
we're doing it on purpose so that we can just
get the head nod that everything's okay, and then run.
- I'm all about families going out and enjoying their time
together, but if your kid is a (bleep) maniac
and a disaster and throwing (bleep) all over the place.
You've got spaghetti on the floor
and ketchup hanging from the (bleep) ceiling,
I understand it's our job to clean the restaurant and stuff,
but at least pick up after your kids.
Don't let them create mayhem and then just walk away
and be like, "Ah, all right, later,"
and then not tip either.
- I always give the customers napkins when I see that stuff.
I'm like, "Oh, here you guys go."
- Rude people, man.
Very impatient.
- The impatience thing with me is a big one
when people try and slip you money
and expect to get a table faster, or if they hit on you,
and it's like, "Why?
"Why do you think that I would like that?"
But one guy actually did slip me a twenty once,
and he was like, "Oh please, my family's super hungry."
And I was like, "I'm gonna keep this 'cause I work
"a minimum-wage job, but the wait is not going to change."
- I've had people just literally screaming at me.
I've been called a bitch over eggs,
and I just looked at her and went,
"I'm gonna go grab my manager."
- I love grabbing the manager.
- "I don't need to do this anymore.
"I don't need to take this from you."
- We have a really big menu at my restaurant.
They don't even open it, they just sit there
and it's like, "What's good here?"
It's like, "Well we have a lot of stuff,
"if you want to go ahead and open the menu."
- They call you over, and you're like busy as hell,
and they're like, "Do you have nachos?"
- "Do you have burgers?"
It's like, "Yes, it's under the burger section
"inside the menu."
- A whole page of burgers.
- Do you have tacos?
- Like, "What do you have to drink?"
- It's like, "It's on our beverage pages."
- "Do you have PBR?"
"No, guys, it's in front of you."
Sometimes we're busy and I'm like,
"You can read it, I'll be right back."
- Just open the menu.
Please, please God.
- And finally they decide to read it,
but you have to stand there the whole time while
they go through every single thing.
- Have you ever been grabbed, like has anyone ever?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I hate that too.
- When you drop stuff at the table, and they ask you
for something else, and you go back to get it,
and then you come back, and then they ask for another thing.
And then you go back and they're like,
"Ooh also, can I get..."
And I'm like, "Is there anything else I can get you
"before I leave the table?"
And then all their friends think of things too.
And then you leave one more time and they're like,
"Oh, I'm so sorry we forgot salt and pepper."
And I'm like, "I'm gonna put
"these salt and peppers up your nose."
- The customer comes to the restaurant.
There's a wait for a certain section.
If it's nice out, they want to sit outside.
"There's a wait outside, but if you want,
"you can sit inside and eat right away."
So say it's an hour wait.
So they go walk around and come back in an hour
and then they'll get their table,
but then after the meal is done they'll come
and complain that they want a discount on their check,
because they had to wait so long.
"You knew the deal when you came in.
"I told you straight up it's gonna be an hour wait.
"You could've sat inside like I told you,
"and eat right away."
- People love free stuff.
People love to complain to get free stuff.
- I'm getting sweaty, because I'm getting angry.
- I work in Santa Monica, it's the homeless problem.
It's always like a homeless guy
at least once a month walking into our restaurant.
- Also families that come in who are
feuding or not having a good night.
And it just kinda translates over to your job.
They're being really loud and causing problems
for other customers and stuff.
We've had couples come in and break up at the table,
and you're just like, "Can I get you more water?"
- This guy who is probably around my age came in,
and he got really drunk with all his friends.
He said something really inappropriate to me.
He's like, "Oh, it's really cold.
"Can you move the heater?"
I'm like, "Sorry, we can't move it in here."
He's like, "Can I have your jacket?"
I was like, "Sorry, it's my uniform."
He's like, "Can you sit on my face?"
- Oh my God.
- And I chewed him out.
And his friends were like, "What's going on?
"What's going on?"
And I was like, "Uh, this is what he just said to me."
And he had like a couple of girlfriends in the group,
and they were like, "(Bleep) kidding me?"
He got told, and I was just like...
He said, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
And he kept apologizing.
I was like, "Dude, you can't talk to people like that.
"It's so inappropriate."
- It's not funny.
- Yeah. People do it all the time. And (bleep).
- They think they can get away with it.
- And everyone should stop doing that.
- Like, you can talk to me, but I don't appreciate
you, like, really outwardly flirting with me
when I'm trying to do my job,
especially since I work behind a bar as well.
I think guys, you never really know
what their end game is, if they're hitting on you
from behind the bar, because you're like,
"I clearly have a job to do."
And then they get kind of angry if you're, like,
not giving them all your attention, flirting back.
- (Bleep), you're lucky.
I don't get hit on.
- No, I wouldn't call that lucky. (laughs)
- When they go out to eat, they order everything.
They'll get two appetizers, they'll get the most expensive
courses, and they'll get desserts,
and they'll run up a fucking tab,
but then not tip.
I don't get it.
Like, if you couldn't afford to spend all that,
you have to factor in a tip.
This is, I feel, like, the number one pet peeve.
It's a given.
But don't go spending $300 if you can't tip.
- Bad tippers, people who tip terribly
after they put you through the moves.
- Or when they leave a verbal tip.
We like to call it verbal tips.
Where they, like, pat you on the shoulder
and they're like, "You did a great job."
Or like, "You're the best server I ever had."
And then they, like, don't leave very much tip,
and you're like, "Oh, so you just...
"That, to you, was your tip.
"No, I know that I'm good at my job.
"I don't need your validation.
"Give me your money, though.
"That's what I need from you."
- Tip accordingly to that food
and for the time that you spent there.
If you spent $100 in 30 minutes, it's like,
"I get it, you can tip me ten bucks, whatever."
But if you are there for three hours,
it's like you should triple that at least.
- Exactly.
You have to.
Because you're taking away from...
- You're taking away from other tables.
- Exactly.
- And money that we could get.
- In all the bad years that I've experienced
in the restaurant business, I've also met a lot of
incredible people as well.
- One hundred percent.
- Which somehow balanced out all of the bullshit.
- As a customer, just be polite, and I will be polite back.
- And it makes our job more fun if you get to know us,
and let us get to know you, and not in a flirty way.
- I have made the most incredible friends through working
in the service industry, because you have to have a backbone
to be able to do it.
- Oh my God, do you have to have a backbone.
- I'm more worried about you if you treat me with respect.
I'm not your slave, I work there
for minimum wage plus tips.
- We live off tips.
- Put that in your brain and cement it there forever.
- Let's all relax and stop treating us like
we're there to do your bidding, because we're not.
- Don't be a dick.
- Don't.