Welcome to the Patrick Star Show's Family Tree.
Every tree has its roots, and for Patrick,
those roots go way back to the patralific period.
Much like modern day Patrick,
these Stars have a deep appreciation for food,
though it was a little harder to get those days.
We had to do all our shopping in the wild...
[grunting]
where the dinosaurs were shopping for us.
[screaming]
Unfortunately, these Stars also ended up as food.
[screaming]
Though the Star line didn't end with them.
Well I guess things can't get any worse.
Fast forward a couple million years
and we get Grand Pat Star.
He may be old now, but when he was younger,
he was a bit of a rebel.
With every ice cream parlor closed,
I started going to sweeteasies.
Ah! Uh!
[alarm blaring]
And if they caught you
with so much as a sample size scoop,
they'd throw ya in the slammer.
[grunting]
And only fed ya prunes.
That's where I learned to like fruit.
And besides prunes,
Grand Pat also enjoys smashing clocks...
[grunting, laughing]
tub rafting....
[unintelligible] I'm free!
...and tricking anybody that's younger than him,
which is pretty much everyone.
Please, kind sir, would you help me open my trunk?
I've got feeble fingers.
Why certainly. Helping customers is our policy.
[screaming]
[laughing]
He sometimes hides food in unexpected places.
Maybe my olive loaf shin guards?
[sniffing] Ah.
My pasta salad insoles?
[sniffing] No.
[gasping] My trouser toast is ready.
And he never, ever gives up.
Did I give up when dinosaurs stole my lunch money?
I don't know.
Did I give up when the barbarian hordes
swept across the ocean, and stole my lunch money?
I don't know.
Did I give up when martians invaded
and beamed me on to their spaceship
and stole my lunch money?
I don't know!
Grand Pat's son and Patrick's dad is Cecil,
the next Star on this tree. He likes clipping coupons...
I just made six bucks in coupons from a magic floating newspaper.
Way to go, Dad!
...giving advice to his son...
You see, Patrick, when an employee and an employer
love each other very much, a brand new job is born.
...and has a sizable mustache collection.
My imaginary son is in trouble? Then I'm going in after him.
He is especially skilled
at experimenting in the kitchen...
[grunting]
[roaring]
[grunting]
Delicious.
...planning family vacations...
Attention Stars, your annual family vacation
will be leaving the driveway on schedule in 58 seconds.
All aboard!
....and cutting the grass.
Ah, it's great to see real Kentucky bluegrass
after all that artificial turf I've been cutting.
How's that fertilizer treating ya?
[chuckles]
Eh. You're chlorophyll's looking great. Next!
He avoids paying for his newspapers
whenever possible.
I can see you Mr. Star.
Nobody's home!
And he is surprisingly hard to scare.
My sandwich! Get back here!
[grunting]
Huh?
[grunting] Whoa. Hey!
And now for the hot stuff. [chuckles]
Get 'em inside.
♪ That's the best sandwich I ever ate ♪
[belching]
Speaking of hard to scare, let's move over
to Patrick's mom, Bunny Star.
She's a fan of carnival games...
Ah.
[dinging]
[screaming]
...dancing tattoos...
Whoo. [chuckles]
...and above all else, vacuuming.
[unintelligible] for a vacuum, but I love it!
[chattering]
But she's not a fan of all appliances,
since the toaster really seems to have it out for her.
[groaning]
[grunting]
But as you can see, she is tenacious
and nothing can stand between her
and cleaning up a mess, including dust monsters.
[groaning]
[laughing] Can't get me.
[humming]
No, no, no! [screaming]
Bunny and Cecil's son is the one and only,
Patrick Star.
Starring...
He may not be the sharpest,
but he's certainly the most entertaining Star
in this tree.
...me! Me is Patrick. [laughing]
And like all the Stars, he is a surprisingly graceful dancer.
[music playing]
He has a very refined palate,
at least when it comes to stinky smells.
Smells more like a rotten egg
filtered through wild strawberries.
But definitely do not get between him and his ice cream.
I'm gonna get your ice cream!
[music playing]
O-Oh.
[groaning]
If this keeps up, I'm gonna loose my lunch.
[dinging] Oh boy, lunch time!
Patrick's little sister and the youngest member
of the Star family is Squidina.
While she may be shy when the camera's on her...
Patrick! You know I have stage four stage fright!
[groaning]
[crickets chirping]
[groaning]
...she's anything but shy behind the scenes.
[growling]
None of that on my set! Do you hear?!
[whimpering]
Good boy.
She runs a tight ship and is pretty much the only one
keeping Patrick's show on track.
Right now, I'm trying to book an imaginary act
for your imaginary TV show.
Well, how's it going?
They said, their imaginary people
are gonna call my imaginary people.
[laughing]
She even takes charge when she's on vacation.
Listen up, people, before we start the fun,
Grand Pat, unpack the trunk.
Patrick, take Tinkle to the restroom.
Squidina, get us some snacks.
Mom, Dad, stay where I can see you.
Big new places can be scary.
We rally back here in five!
[whistle blowing]
[chattering]
Now we've gone through all the relatives
on the Star tree, but there are two other important members
of the Star family; their pets,
starting with Patrick's pet urchin, Ouchie.
Give us a kiss.
Ouch.
He may be prickly on the outside,
but he's an essential part
of the Patrick Show's production.
[cheering]
Hey, folks!
He once even saved Patrick's life.
[screaming] Oh!
And has a nose for tracking down almost anything.
[barking, groaning]
And speaking of smell, the other Star family pet
lives in the smelliest room of the house.
The upstairs bathroom.
[groaning]
Tell Ouchie, "I love him." [groaning]
You can do it, Brother.
[groaning]
[barking]
Help!
I'm too dumb to die!
Patrick Star, what did I tell you
- about teasing the toilet? - Ah.
Tinkle may seem a little mean, and he certainly
doesn't like Grand Pat very much.
This is why I hate the upstairs bathroom.
But Tinkle is an essential part of the Star family
and an essential part of the bathroom.
The downstairs bathroom. [giggling]
Uh, mustache before beard.
[sighing]
Ooh! Oh! Ow!