Hello, I'm Mary Gordon from Roots of Empathy
And I'm happy to speak to you today about the temperament trait of "activity level".
Of all the nine temperament traits, this is probably the easiest trait to observe.
And probably the one that parents completely understand, and that teachers recognize.
And if you look at children's behaviour
Very often, we judge the child on their behaviour.
If we take a look at the idea of activity level,
it really is looking at the proportion of active movement
versus stillness, if you like
Children on the very high end of activity level are very recognizable in babyhood.
If you think of a high end activity level baby in the bath
The baby who has high activity level is absolutely a delight in the bath
or a challenge, depending on your activity level
If you enjoy splashing and diving and all of the high movement
that a baby with high activity level demonstrates in the bathtub, that is wonderful
but the baby who has low activity level in the bathtub
probably sits serenely and waits for you to engage with them
and it's a peaceful, calm activity
and if you yourself are more along that line you might enjoy the bath more
Let's look at the other big activity that happens all the time, which is eating
A little baby who has high activity level is, in the high chair, a full-on job
You cannot turn your back.
Because they will be wriggling and jiggling out of the chair.
They will be throwing things on the floor
They will be finding ways to resist being corralled in the high chair.
Because they have an innate need to move.
This is not a naughty thing.
This is just a beautiful, innate predisposition to be a very active person who moves a lot.
Fast-forward this idea: looking at children's behaviour through the lens of activity
If you have this little person who goes to school, what are our expectations in school?
That you have to be able to be sitting still so that the teacher can teach you; can reach you.
And for some children who have low activity level, this is a very natural, easy way for them to learn.
For children who are in the higher end of the activity level, it's torture.
Here's where this beautiful, natural predisposition to living your life in the world can get you in big trouble.
The child who needs to move all the time is never in the right place.
Is dropping pencils on the floor for an excuse to move and pick them up.
Is having difficulty paying attention because their natural way of learning includes moving.
And sometimes in education we call this a "kinesthetic learner"
A child who's main mode of learning includes moving.
As an adult, you might imagine yourself
if you're high on the activity level, that you need to pace or walk when you're working out problems
or when you're writing, you need to get these ideas together by moving
maybe you need to go for a walk to clear your head.
whereas if you are an adult with low activity level,
you probably want to sit down and have a cup of tea to think about what you think.
This is a life long sort of predisposition to being in the world
If you look at the idea of the teacher,
and the teacher's trying to manage a classroom of children
many of whom will be in the middle of the spectrum, of the continuum,
or some who will be on the high end.
Very often the children on the high end will be perceived as difficult children.
They are not difficult children.
They are difficult to manage in the situation that we have set them up in in the classroom.
It's why many teachers so wisely arrange for periods of activity,
where everyone will stand up and sing an active song or do something.
They accommodate those children.
So that they can get their -- you know the song, "Wiggle Your Wiggles Away"?
That is all of us. That is why you can take a coffee break when you're an adult at work.
That's why you have control of this activity level as an adult.
Children have no control.
And we tend to put them in circumstances -- social circumstances -- going to a movie together.
Going to a restaurant can be a nightmare for a child who's got high activity level
because there is an expected behaviour of sitting still.
Of being in the one place.
To understand your child's natural activity level,
you can have a lot more satisfaction as a parent if you realize this high activity level is not poor behaviour
It's innate interactions with the world.
It is a blessing as an adult.
It allows you to do and see a lot more.
It allows you to really embrace the physical world of nature and of cities and wherever you are.
I think, when you look at how do we parent a child with low activity level versus high activity level,
If you have an issue that you need to discuss with your child,
You will have more success in talking about that with a low activity level child.
You might want to have a sit down and a cup of cocoa.
Because that will be the most effective way to meet the child where they most naturally can connect with you.
Whereas if you have a challenge you want to discuss with your child who has high activity level,
you might be more successful if you go for a walk.
And walk and talk together because that's how they can hear you best.
That's how they can process best, that's how they can problem solve.
To look at the world from the lense of your child's activity level,
if you consider your own activity level and the blend of the two,
you can probably come to a very good place of figuring out how to have the happiest connections with your child.
and also the happiest expectations.
Because everything in parenting is about having reasonable expectations.
And when you know your child well by understanding their predisposition to being active in the world, you're set up for success.