>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW!
MY NEXT GUEST HAS DONE FILM, TV, AND BROADWAY.
IN THE NEW SERIES "I'M DYING UP HERE," SHE GETS TO TRY STAND-UP
COMEDY.
>> SO HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE EVER FLOWN DRUNK?
OH, I THINK I SEE A HAND COMING UP FROM UNDER THE TABLE.
IS THAT YOU, NED GIBBS?
>> WOULDN'T MIND GETTING YOU UNDER MY TABLE!
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) >> THIS MAN, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, IS WHY I TAKE THE BUS.
>> WANT TO JOIN THE MILE HIGH CLUB.
>> NOT WITH YOU.
BUT I WOULD CONSIDER JOINING THE MILE AWAY CLUB.
SERIOUSLY IF YOUR (BLEEP) IS AS BIG AS YOUR MOUTH, BUT I'M
BETTING IT'S AS BIG AS YOUR BRAIN, SO ENJOY YOUR SOLO
FLIGHT.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME ARI
GRAYNOR!
>> HELLO.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> Stephen:.
>> Stephen: I WAS TALKING WITH THE PRODUCER AND YOU'RE STILL A
YOUNG PERSON BUT YOU HAVE BEEN ACTING FOR A LONG TIME, SINCE
YOU WERE A YOUNG KID.
>> THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME YOUNG.
>> Stephen: WOODY ALLEN, CHRISTOPHER GUEST -- HOW OLD
WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED?
>> COMMUNITY THEATER WHEN I WAS SEVEN BUT SO LUCKY TO KEEP
WORKING AS A KID AND DID COMMUNITY THEATER AND THEATER
AROUND BOSTON, AND THEN PEOPLE, AS YOU MENTIONED, REAL WILL YOU
INCREDIBLE PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST JOB?
>> WELL, MY FIRST ON-CAMERA JOB WAS THIS INDUSTRIAL FOR THE
LUTHERAN CHURCH CALLED EVERYBODY COUNTS.
NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL, BUT I'M JEWISH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I DIDN'T.
YOU HAD NO IDEA.
I HIDE IT SO WELL.
IT'S WILD BECAUSE IT WAS SORT OF ABOUT OLD FRIENDSHIP AND NEW
FRIENDSHIP AND I PLAYED THE OLD FRIEND AND I ONLY READ MY LINES.
SO WHEN THE TAPE CAME OUT, I WATCHED IT WITH THIS BOY I HAD A
CRUSH ON THAT WAS ALSO IN IT, AND IT WAS WHILE I WAS WATCHING
IT WITH HIM THAT I DISCOVERED THAT THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF MY
CHARACTER ABOUT BEING FAT.
MY CHARACTER'S NAME WAS MAXINE DEMPSTER.
THERE WAS THIS LINE WHERE THEY WERE LIKE, YOU KNOW, THE THING
ABOUT MAXINE, SHE'S A BIG, FAT TUB OF LARD AND HER NAME OUGHT
TO BE MAXIMUM DUMPSTER.
AND I HEARD IT THE FIRST TIME WITH MY CRUSH NEARBY BUT THEY
DID HAVE GOOD CRAFT SERVICES SO IT WAS A GOOD FIRST TRY.
>> Stephen: AT WHAT POINT DID YOU THINK THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO
DO AND NOT JUST A PIPE DREAM?
>> I STARTED WHEN I WAS A KID AND BASICALLY NEVER STOPPED.
IT WASN'T ANYTHING NANCY.
IT WAS CHILDREN'S THEATERS AND SMALL THEATERS IN BOSTON.
>> Stephen: YOUR PARENTS WERE SO COOL WITH THIS?
>> SO SUPPORTIVE.
MY MOM IS IN THE DRESSING ROOM NOW, SO EXCITED ABOUT ALL THE
FREE FOOD.
HI, JONI!
SHE'S LOSING HER MIND AND CRYING BACKSTAGE, AS IS MY DAD GREG,
HE'S AT HOME, BUT VERY SUPPORTIVE.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU FROM FANCY BOSTON OR SOUTHIE?
WHAT ARE YOU?
>> I'M FROM WELLY.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
>> THE THING I THINK IS HILARIOUS ABOUT MASSACHUSETTS IS
IT'S THE ONLY STATE WHERE EVERYONE TRIES TO CLASS
THEMSELVES DOWN.
EVERYONE IS ALWAYS TRYING TO PROVE THEY GREW UP WITH NO
MONEY.
YOU'RE, LIKE, ARE YOU FROM FANCY BOSTON OR NOT BOSTON?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
EVERYONE IS LIKE, YEAH, I'M FROM WELLSLEY, BUT IT WAS THE
POOR PART OF WELLSLEY.
SO I GREW UP THERE, BUT IT WAS CONSIDERED A FANCY PART.
>> Stephen: YOU WENT TO PROM WITH A KENNEDY?
>> I DID.
>> Stephen: WAS THAT FUN?
IT WAS LIKELY FUN, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE, THE WAY IT HAPPENED, I
MANAGED BOYS SPORTS TEAMS TO GET OUT OF MY GYM REQUIREMENT.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE EQUIPMENT MANAGER?
>> NO, FOR HOCKEY, I WAS EQUIPMENT MANAGER, BUT FOR
LA CROSSE, I SCORED EVERY GAME.
I WENT TO ALL THE GAMES.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
AND I GOT A PROM DATE OUT OF IT.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
AND MY PROM DATE -- >> Stephen: WAS IT ONE OF THE
GOOD KENNEDYS?
>> JOE KENNEDY III WHO IS A CONGRESSMAN FOR MASSACHUSETTS
RIGHT NOW.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU GUYS KEEP UP?
YOU KNOW, I WAS WONDERING IF I WAS GOING TO MENTION HIS NAME
ON THE SHOW IF MAYBE I SHOULD RUN IT BY HIM, LIKE, WHAT IF I
SOMEHOW RUIN OR TAINT HIS POLITICAL CAREER?
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THAT JUST BY SAYING A MAN'S NAME YOU TAINT
HIS CAREER?
( LAUGHTER ) JOE BUSINESS ISN'T THAT BAD.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I PLAYED A LOT OF SEX WORKERS, SO I DIDN'T KNOW IF SOMEHOW THAT
WAS GOING TO -- >> Stephen: AND AGAIN, MOM IS
COOL?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S VERY NICE.
THIS IS A BROADWAY RETURN FOR YOU, I UNDERSTAND, BEING ON A
BROADWAY STAGE BECAUSE WE'RE HERE ON BROADWAY IN NEW YORK.
YOU DID A BROADWAY WITH WOODY ALLEN?
>> HE WROTE A ONE-ACT PLAY AND IT WAS WOULD BECAUSE HIS PIECE
WAS CALLED MONEY MOON MOTEL, AND IT WAS SORT OF A GOING BACK TO
HIS HUMOR, AN WE WERE BASICALLY UP THERE TELLING ONE-LINE JOKES,
AND WE WOULD HAVE NOTES IN THE HOUSE AFTER EVERY SHOW DURING
PREVIEWS FOR A MONTH.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S IT LIKE TO GET A NOTE FROM MR. WOODY ALLEN?
>> THERE WAS LIKE COMEDY CLASS.
HE WOULD SIT THERE AND SOMETIMES JUST SAY, YOU KNOW, YOU DID NOT
TELL THE JOKE WELL.
WHAT HAPPENED?
DID YOU LOSE ALL COMEDIC SENSIBILITY?
( LAUGHTER ) IT COULD BE LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
HE SOUNDS LIKE AN AS (BLEEP).
( LAUGHTER ) >> I LIKED IT.
SOMETIMES BECAUSE THEN IF HE TOLD YOU, YOU KNOW, YOU TOLD IT
SWIFTLY AND WITH GREAT COMEDIC TIMING YOU FELT REALLY GOOD
ABOUT YOURSELF.
IT WAS MAYBE THE MOST I EVER LEARNED ABOUT COMEDY IN TERMS OF
JOKE TELLING BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, HE WOULD SAY THINGS LIKE, YOU
DID NOT TELL THAT JOKE CORRECTLY.
YOU SAID BRUNETTE, BUT YOU DIDN'T GET THE LAUGH BECAUSE YOU
SHOULD HAVE SAID BRUNETTE -- HIT THE T, I GUESS.
THAT'S THE LESSON.
>> Stephen: I GUESS SO.
ABSOLUTELY LOVELY TO MEET YOU.
HAVE A VERY HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO EXACTLY.
I DON'T KNOW.
I GOT A NEW PUPPY, SO I'LL PROBABLY HANG OUT WITH HER.
HER NAME IS TOOTSIE.
>> Stephen: WELL, HAVE A LOVELY TIME WITH TOOTSIE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: "I'M DYING UP HERE" AIRS SUNDAYS ON SHOWTIME.
ARI GRAYNOR, EVERYBODY!