One day you're at your computer looking over video you shot with your buddies while just
hanging out and messing around.
Suddenly in the footage you spot something strange- there, in the background, it looks
almost like a figure standing just out of view.
You zoom in and can barely make out a tall- freakishly tall- humanoid shape, but it could
just be the pixelation and shadows messing with your eyes.
You ignore it, but then over the next few days you start noticing that same freakishly
tall figure out of the corner of your eye, and it seems to be everywhere you go: school,
home, the mall...
One day you pretend to be snapping a selfie, hoping to catch a photo of the mysterious
figure in the distance, and upon looking at the photo you feel your blood run cold as
you can clearly see the abnormally tall figure standing just a few dozen feet behind you.
Rushing home you start to do some research and feel your stomach sink when you realize
that your worst fears are true: you are being stalked by the Slenderman.
Hello and welcome to another episode of The Infographics Show's You Versus- today we're
putting you up against the subconsciously created Slenderman.
First though, just what the hell is this strange creature?
Well, Slenderman is believed to be a casualty of the Tulpa Effect, or a Buddhist-themed
ideology that states if enough people all share the same belief, it can manifest as
reality in our world.
Some people believe that the Tulpa Effect is what is responsible for things such as
ghosts, bigfoot, and even alien abductions- with a shared belief amongst so many people
physically manifesting these things in the real world.
Adherents to the theory believe that reality is what we perceive of it, and the reason
why fire is hot and ice is cold is because enough of us believe it is, and if we stopped,
then the properties of both would change.
Existence is thus an exercise of continued belief, and if enough people were to stop
believing in it, it would cease to be.
As a product of the Tulpa Effect, Slenderman's abilities can be hard to pin down because
they are typically ever-changing as new beliefs about him- or it- are added to the current
mythos.
Physically, Slenderman stands well over six feet tall and is always dressed in what appears
to be a smart-looking suit and tie.
His freakish height is exaggerated by arms that are long enough for his hands to reach
his knees like a gorilla, yet he stands fully erect like a man.
The fingers of each hand are extremely long and bony, adding to his garish and nightmarish
appearance.
As his name suggests, Slenderman is also very gaunt, and what is most unnerving is that
he lacks any facial features whatsoever- no eyes, mouth, ears or nose.
His face is simply a blank space, almost like a man wearing a white sack over their head.
Originally Slenderman could sprout tentacles from his body, or simply change his current
limbs to tentacles, which he could use to seize or beat prey into submission.
He is also able to move extremely quickly, though seems to prefer to simply teleport
from one location to another- which we can't blame him on, as it would definitely be our
preferred way of travel as well.
His strength is greater than an adult human, despite his slender build, and he seems to
be completely invulnerable to all forms of damage- which is going to make this a tough
fight indeed.
Though nobody knows Slenderman's true origins, it is known that he is a predator and seems
to feed on human fear- much like a demon.
However unlike a demon he cannot be harmed by religious symbols or holy water, and the
practice of true faith seems to have little to no effect on deterring his persistent attacks.
This leads many to believe that Slenderman is in fact a physical being, though possibly
not from our own plane of existence.
Some think Slenderman is an interdimensional parasite, who pops into our existence in order
to find hosts to feed off.
Others believe that Slenderman is an alien, manipulating individuals for some secretive
agenda.
Whatever his origins, it is known that one clear way to pinpoint Slenderman's presence
is through the use of electronic devices such as radios and cameras, which will all begin
to malfunction while in his presence.
So you're up against a poorly defined creature- or not a creature, we honestly don't know-
which is invulnerable to all damage and takes pleasure in tormenting its victims for days,
weeks, or even months and years before killing them.
How are you going to defeat it?
Sadly, guns and explosives aren't going to do you much good here.
Neither are religious symbols or true faith- so we're going to have to tackle Slenderman
with his own weapons, we're going to have to tap directly into the Tulpa Effect.
Luckily you have time on your side, as Slenderman prefers to drag out the process of killing
its prey, likely so as to increase the fear and paranoia of his chosen prey which might
strengthen Slenderman somehow.
First, you're going to have to guard yourself against Slenderman's constant terrifying encounters,
meant to incite paranoia and fear, so take up a nice relaxing routine every day and take
advice from US special forces operators to defeat your fears: picture what you're afraid
of- in this case, Slenderman- in every horrible situation possible.
Meditate on everything that could go wrong- again, in this case Slenderman eating your
soul- and replay it vividly in your imagination over and over again.
You'll find that as you do this simple mental exercise your brain becomes accustomed to
the possibilities of fear, and when it experiences fear again it's better able to shrug it off.
Next, it's time to get viral and tap into the Tulpa Effect.
Slenderman likely exists only because so many people believe that it exists, and the internet
is wholly responsible for its creation.
You're going to need to get net savvy and start your own viral trend, this time focused
on things or ways to defeat Slenderman.
It's far too late to simply try to convince people Slenderman doesn't exist- too many
already believe it does- but you can add to the Slenderman mythos and create ways in which
it can be defeated.
When enough people start to accept that Slenderman can be defeated by the way you come up with,
then suddenly this supernatural stalker is going to find itself with a crippling Achille's
Heel.
What you come up with that can defeat Slenderman however has to play into the pre-existing
mythos, or nobody is going to accept it as canon, so unfortunately you can't come up
with something completely ridiculous like Slenderman explodes if it comes into contact
with kittens.
Or can you?
The Tulpa Effect makes what people believe into reality, so if you're a smooth enough
operator and can get enough people to accept that Slenderman indeed has an explosive allergy
to kittens, then congratulations, because you're one kitten-cannon away from defeating
this ultimate evil.
In essence in order to defeat Slenderman you're going to have to hack its very reality by
reshaping people's beliefs about him, which is kind of the coolest way to defeat anything
ever.
And if you do manage to convince people Slenderman explodes if it comes in contact with kittens,
well, remember that aforementioned kitten-cannon?
You're going to need a few feet of PVC pipe, a container for convenient kitten storage,
and an air compressor.
Simply fill a small steel oxygen storage tank with compressed air- 165 pounds per square
inch would do- and connect the oxygen tank to the PVC pipe with a simple valve.
Next, load a kitten into your pvc pipe- or several kittens for a shotgun like blast-
and then trigger your gas valve.
Congratulations, you have a bonafide kitten-firing Slenderman killing shotgun.
Or I suppose you could just convince people Slenderman doesn't exist.
Unless it convinces people you don't exist first!
How would you defeat Slenderman?
Let us know in the comments!
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