Frustration intolerance,
also known as low frustration tolerance
is described as the inability to cope with feelings
of discomfort or stress.
It's often associated with a person's low threshold
for frustration, meaning you get frustrated easily.
It's also been described as an inability
to accept the gap between our expectations and reality.
That's what I'm talking about today.
I am Dr. Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist,
and I make mental health education videos.
We all experience frustration,
but if you have low frustration tolerance
you may react to stressful situations
with irritation or anger.
You may be quick to lash out at people,
even people close to you.
In 2005, British Psychologist Neil Harrington
developed a Frustration Discomfort Scale
to measure how much different situations frustrate you.
The idea behind the scale comes from a type of therapy
called rational emotive behavior therapy.
This therapy says that it's not the bad things
that happen to us that upset us,
but rather what we think about these things.
So if you're someone who's gets easily frustrated,
it's not the frustrating situation itself
that's the problem
but your belief that you can't
or shouldn't have to deal with it.
The Frustration Discomfort Scale has 28 questions
divided into four subscales,
each representing a different aspect
of frustration intolerance.
The first subscale is discomfort intolerance.
This measures how much you can't stand
the daily hassles of life
and how much you try to avoid these situations.
Example statements on this scale are,
I can't stand having to do too many things
I don't feel like doing,
or, I need the easiest way of solving things.
The second subscale is entitlement.
This measures how much you think
you should always get what you want
without having to struggle or work hard for it.
Two statements that illustrate this are,
I can't stand waiting for what I want,
or, I can't stand being taken for granted.
The third subscale is emotional intolerance.
It measures the extent
to which you find certain emotional states,
such as anxiety or depression intolerable.
Items on this scale are,
I can't stand to feel emotionally out of control,
or, if things don't change, there's no way I can be happy.
The fourth and final subscale is achievement frustration.
This measures how much you can't stand
any form of failure, even small setbacks.
Two statements on this subscale are,
I can't lower my standards even if it would be convenient,
or, I can't stand being unable to fulfill my potential.
What causes frustration intolerance?
It can stem from various factors, including upbringing,
past traumatic experiences, and your personality traits.
For instance, being raised
in an overly protective environment
may lead to frustration intolerance
if you don't have the opportunity
to develop coping mechanisms
when you experience distress or discomfort.
Low frustration tolerance can be a symptom
of certain mental health conditions
such as attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder
and anxiety disorders.
What does frustration intolerance look like?
Symptoms often include emotional distress
such as anger, anxiety, or depression,
you may also exhibit avoidance behaviors,
procrastination, or even substance abuse
as a way to cope with feelings of discomfort.
These manifestations can significantly impact
your quality of life, relationships,
and overall mental health.
But having low frustration tolerance isn't a fixed state.
There are strategies for managing it
and increasing your tolerance for frustration.
Here are four practical exercises to build your resilience
by experiencing and dealing with frustration
in a controlled way.
Number one is the snails pace challenge.
Choose the longest slowest line in the grocery store
and stick with it no matter how tempting it is
to switch lines.
Don't use the time to check emails
or catch up with social media posts,
instead, use the time to practice deep breathing
and mindfulness, observe your surroundings,
the items in your cart or the music playing overhead.
Number two is the drip torture.
Set a leaky tap to drip every few seconds
and sit in the room with it.
Resist the urge to get up and turn it off.
Sit and listen to the repetitive sound.
Notice your reaction to it.
How does your body feel?
If your muscles are tense
you could do a round of progressive muscle relaxation.
To do this, start at one end of your body
and systemically contract and relax muscle groups
as you move toward the other end of your body.
Number three, exercise the Zen master stare.
Choose a plain wall in your home
and simply sit in front of it.
Set a timer for 20 minutes,
and during this time
your task is to do nothing but stare at the wall.
No phone, no distractions, just you and the wall.
It's a simple exercise, but you'll be surprised
at how challenging it can be to sit with your own thoughts
without any external stimulation.
This exercise is a great way to practice mindfulness
and patience,
as well as tolerate the discomfort that comes from boredom.
Number four is the fear-facing challenge.
Identify something that scares you
or makes you uncomfortable but is safe.
It could be anything from watching a scary movie,
trying a new food, speaking to a stranger,
or even taking a different route home.
The key is to choose something
that pushes you out of your comfort zone
but doesn't put you in any real danger.
For example, if you're afraid of public speaking
you could join a local Toastmasters club,
or sign up for an open mic night at a local cafe.
If you're uncomfortable with heights
you could visit a tall building or a hill in your area
and spend some time at the top.
Obstacles and hassles are stressful
and not always within our control.
It's your perception that determines
how impactful these stressors are
and how you cope with them.
With practice, you can develop more patience
and tolerance and experience less distress from them.
If you want more practical tips on coping mechanisms
watch this video on two simple calming techniques
and watch this other video
on what it means to be psychologically flexible.
Thanks for watching.
See you next time.