(funky upbeat music)
♫ Alarm clock, you had one job
♫ You're as useless as the G in lasagna
♫ No time to get ready today
♫ This outfit is so ugly One Direction went the other way
♫ This microwave is frustratin'
♫ You remind me of the guys that I dated
♫ You're loud and annoying like my ex who complicated
♫ I always push your buttons and you always keep me waiting
♫ You call this a burrito
♫ It's fallin' apart like my life
♫ Man I can't eat you
♫ I'll regret every bite
♫ Man I thought I left my parkin' spot
♫ But this whole freeway is just a giant parkin' lot
♫ And you drivers got talent
♫ 'Cause this looks like one big mannequin challenge
♫ Off the next ramp, smooth sailin' for me
♫ Hit a speed bump and dropped all my things
♫ Spilled a lotta tea like I got some magazine
♫ On my thighs burning like I went to the gym
(sighs)
- You know, maybe I'm thinking about life the wrong way.
(tape rewinding)
(funky upbeat music)
♫ Alarm didn't wake me up and now I'm runnin' late
♫ But look out the window, it's such a sunny day
♫ Lilies love photosynthesis, feed me Mister Sun
♫ And I have to admit, you're hot, oops, gotta run
♫ My room is very messy, can't find anything that goes
♫ But all this on the floor is lookin' super cool
♫ This outfit doesn't match but have no fear
♫ You are one of a kind girl, the best kinda weird
♫ My burrito fell apart, big mess on my plate
♫ So time for a spoon, you're too yummy to waste
♫ Period cramps, I'm so uncomfortable
♫ I'm such a fertile woman, ovaries so functional
♫ Oops, dropped my phone, made a crack in the screen
♫ Hey, it gives you character, now you're unique
♫ Just got a message from Miranda Sings
♫ A couple misspelled words but you're still my queen
♫ And I'm stuck in traffic and nobody really movin'
♫ Except for me to my my favorite song, groovin'
♫ Everyone is fed up and they're bangin' on their horns
♫ Music to my ears, the boop a doo boop a song
♫ That car came out of nowhere and cut into my lane
♫ I know you're probably late, here's a smile and a wave
♫ I don't need to hold a grudge 'cause nothing was lost
♫ Good thing I'm a pro and I drive like a boss
♫ Off the next ramp, smooth sailin' for me
♫ But slow down, I don't wanna spill all my tea
♫ Cute boy on the street just noticed me
♫ Man I'm not toilet paper but I'll be all on that booty
♫ Coming to my meeting, found a great parking spot
♫ Man, my timing is so perfect that I could be a watch
♫ Did I wax my upper lip but no need to freak
♫ All that extra hair will help me turn into Munjeep.
- [Man] Hello!
- Hey cumulus clouds, I love the way you float up there
like giant pieces of cotton candy.
You make me so hungry.
Hey mailbox, I appreciate that you provide
an alternative method of communication for grandparents
everywhere that don't know how to use email.
Hey walk signal button,
thanks for letting me press you over and over again,
even though technically, I only need to press you once.
Bugs, I love the way you buzz.
Random rock, you rock!
Hey doormat, I love that I can walk all over you,
and you still have self-esteem.
Hey door, I love how you take me from outside to inside,
or inside to outside, or outside to outside,
or inside to inside.
Hey shoelaces, no matter how many knots I tie,
you still seem to come undone,
and I admire that persistence.
(sighs) VOC Media Player, I love that you play everything,
but you're still so loyal.
Hey door handle, I love the way you...
Door handle.
♫ If we're always throwin' shade
♫ Then we'll darken up our days
♫ If we want a better time
♫ Then let's start throwin' shine
♫ Throwin' shine
♫ Throw, throwin' shine
♫ If we want a better time then let's start throwin' shine
(funky upbeat music)
- What up everyone, it's your girl, Superwoman,
and I hope you enjoyed this video.
If you did, give it a thumbs up,
but actually do it 'cause I worked really,
really hard on it.
Huge shout-outs to Three Musketeers for helpin' me
with this video, and helping me throw shine,
because you know this is a concept I super believe in.
Life is about focusing on the positive,
not on the negative, so stop throwing shade,
and throw some shine.
I wanna hear how you throw shine.
So use the hashtag throwshine,
or comment below, and I'll be stalking everyone that does.
That's a promise.
You wanna check out my last video, it is right over there,
my second vlog channel is right over there,
and yo, make sure you subscribe,
'cause I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.
And I want you to be here, okay?
One love Superwoman, that is a wrap, and zoom!