- It's nice to just take a weekend to Primal Pond and relax.
- Seriously. This was long overdue.
Ah! Oh gosh!
Multiple angry wolves!
- Hey, I think I caught something.
- What the heck?
- It's a spicy fish!
- Why does its face look like that?
- It looks like he's scared for his life.
- Maybe he caught a whiff of Roach's socks.
- Those Spire Boots made my toes sweaty, okay?
- Looks like we've got another big one!
- Hey, it's a hop flopper.
- What's a hop flopper?
- It causes low gravity.
Just one bite and then Roach can take flight.
- I'm pretty sure this is going to give away our location.
- Whoa. I can see so much from up here.
Hey, there's a house over there.
Let's loot it.
- Geez, what a crap shack. Who'd want to live here.
- Ah, back down on the ground, nice and sa-
Oh, God! Raptors!
Ah ha! I live to see another da-
- Ugh, how are we going to get these raptors
to leave us alone?
- Hey, stupid raptors.
If you're that hungry for some fresh meat,
head on down to Durrr Burger.
They've got a drive through and everything.
(pleased raptor sounds)
- All right. Now that we've solved that problem,
let's go inside.
- No loot. What a jip.
- Um, maybe there's loot in that thing?
- What the-
- Is that an egg?
- It's an Easter egg!
Let's run around the yard looking for more.
- I don't think this is a normal Easter egg.
- Hold on. Maybe if we,
(gun fire)
Hm. Nothing.
- Great use of ammo.
- Stupid egg.
(egg cracking)
- Huh, I'd wonder.
(gunshots)
- Oh God. Spicy fish activate!
- Such a brave hero.
- Well, this might be the end.
- Raptors! They saved us!
- Wow. That does not really make sense.
- Gee, thanks. I'm sure glad you didn't go
to that burger place I sent you to.
- Yeah, actually there was no chicken on the menu.
We Raptors mostly prefer poultry over red meat.
- Wow, really?
- Yeah. Chick-Fil-A, KFC, Bojangles.
- Bojangles?
- Yeah. It's a regional chain.
Mostly in the Southeast U.S.
- Huh. You learn something new every day.
(gunshots)
- Roche to the rescue.
(exciting music)
- Mm. Ray tracing.
(splat)
(celebratory horn)
(party music)
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!
(howling)
- Nothing can beat that win.
- It was insane.
You were like bam bam bam,
and then I was like, "Ahhh!"
and everything went (mimics explosion).
- Nothing can beat that win.
- (burp) 'Cause you're playing on easy mode.
- There's no such thing.
- Have you won without using guns?
- That's impossible.
- Geez, Rick, can you turn me back into a human?
There's splinters all over and I can't feel my face.
- It's God tier, mother(beep).
No guns Victory Royale.
There's nothing sweeter.
It's like eating an unethical delicacy.
You know, the process is horrifying,
but the end result is mind-numbingly delicious.
- Mm, like human flesh.
- Don't listen to him!
He doesn't give a (beep) about you!
Run, run now!
- Hammer Morty can be a real jokester.
- Screw you, Rick!
I'm more than just a tool. I have feelings!
- Hey, we've reached our drop.
- Wait, where's your squad?
- I (burp) don't need a squad.
- Whoa, he's doing solo squads.
Nice.
- That creepy abuelo and frightened mallet boy are right!
You all thinking what I'm thinking?
- Play a game like normal?
- [All] No guns squad.
- Aw.
It's hot,
my shoes are full of sand,
and all I can find are Legendary Tac Shotguns.
(gunshot)
- Hey, watch it.
I don't have a weapon.
- Awesome. A noob.
- W-T-F, I'm playing God tier. No guns.
- Sounds like a new idea. Now hold still so I can drop you.
Stupid noobs. My team will-
- Huh? That was kind of fun.
- Woo! Let's run over more people!
- Am I the only one without a cool non-gun weapon?
- Yep. Wait, where's Roach?
(gunshots)
- Not cool.
(laughter)
- Behold, puny human, your destruction!
- Up, up, and go away!
- Hah, it'll take more than that to- aghhh!
My squad shall avenge my death.
(crash)
(beeping)
(crash)
- A little help.
- Where did that come from?
- I'll save them.
Oh, it's the old man.
Hello, old-
(gunshot)
- Flipping heck.
(explosion)
(bad trombone playing)
- That's right mother(beep).
- I set them up. Epic put me in this loop
- and now I'm (beep) on every one.
I'll take a dump on everything and everyone you love.
- Geez, Rick, you can't say that. Kids watch these videos.
- I can say whatever I want, Hammer Morty.
Have you heard of Elsagate?
The Internet is poorly managed,
and only so much as advertisers care.
People consider views the determiner of good content,
when it's the algorithms directing kids to
whatever company shells out the most money.
Children are idiots indoctrinated into
watching videos of richer kids opening presents.
The internet isn't the wild west anymore, Morty.
It's a boring dystopia of advertiser wet dreams.
(beep) squad!
(beep) Fortnite!
I'm mother(beep) Rick Sanchez!
(burp)
(chime music)