- Oh my god, Amanda, did you see "Game of Thrones" last night?
Um, do I love my HBO family?
Hey, boos.
So at the beginning, brother D, honey,
he had the hottest night Mandalay Bay.
He's making it rain counting up all his winnings.
- Meanwhile, vintage Mia Farrow just booked herself
a Wells "Far-gross" commercial.
- You can count on the Iron Bank's support
as soon as the gold arrives.
- So then, back at Winterfell,
Earl Gray is breaking the ice with baby miss Cleo,
but he's like, bitch, you can't fool me.
I saw your old tweets.
- Chaos is a ladder.
LITTLEFINGER (VOICEOVER): Chaos is a ladder.
- He's like, you can't put me on the shit.
I put you on the shit.
Three eyes.
- And then baby "Kill Bill"
rolls up to club Winterfell, and they're like,
you are not on the list.
And she's like, listen up, trick.
My sister's DJ-ing tonight.
- Tell Sansa her sister's home.
- And then baby "Kill Bill" and Sansa fierce
are back together reunited, and it's oh so good.
- And then they have the most intense sleep over ever.
- However long my list got, he was always first.
- Your list?
- Of people I'm going to kill.
[CHUCKLING]
- So the Starks are all back together again,
and let me tell you, this year's Christmas card
is gonna be ugly.
- Then Jon Snow takes Christina Aguilera down
to the Keith Haring exhibit, where he "cave-splains"
all the art to her.
- They were here together, the children and the first men.
- At the end, brother D, he's ready to go home, take off
that hand, polish it up, let the cat butthole breath,
when he realizes there is something amiss.
- Listen.
- It's like waiting for your period to come.
There's a rumble.
You're not feeling right.
Then you look down, and it's like, fuck.
- Fill the gaps!
- Oh my god, just get that girl a DivaCup.
- We'll see if you're that excited when you pull
out a cup of your own blood.
- Here's the thing.
If you don't want to use a DivaCup on your mooncycle,
I support that.
[LAUGHTER]
I support that.
You use whatever you want to use.
I'm so pro pussy.
I love vaginas.
- Because you don't have one!
- And I don't have to be in one, so I love them.
I love them from afar.
I'm like, yes, namaste, vagina.
- No, vaginas are very pesky.
It's like you never get a handle on them.
They're always running away from you, like ah, ah, ah,
yeast infection!
- All of a sudden, a whole Groupon of Dothraki
appear.
They are doing full soul cycle, second position,
and the toughest teacher is leading the class.
Feel that burn.
- Push through the pain.
- Pump them legs.
- Don't forget to breathe.
- How you guys doing?
I can't hear you.
- Sweat, bitch.
The only person happy right now is Dickon, because for once,
nobody's clowning his name.
- Rickon.
- Dickon.
[LAUGHTER]
- And then used car salesman's Blue Apron
delivery shows up, and this week it's all about dragon kebabs.
- But Christina is not letting this plane go down,
and she does a full Sully and pulls a miracle on the Hudson.
But brother D is not happy about her Kerri Strug killer landing.
- You fucking idiot.
- And the last thing we see
is brother D making like the heart of the ocean,
just sinking.
This hair is giving me full on the artist formerly known
as Cersei, but currently Sansa.
But I feel like this is my Khaleesi dragon riding hair.
Dracarys!
Where are--
My dragons?
[WHOOSH]
[CREAKING]
[WHOOSH]